Film: Uncharted

Now back to Ireland for the weekend again (well, I say the weekend, but it's not really, Sunday's flight now leaves so early). Despite airport-wide delays - my "minor delay" (so described by Ryanair) was one hour and 20 minutes. During which time I became peckish, and splurged on a packet of Monster Munch at W. H. Smith. Which, I notice, cost 10p more than their Liverpool Street branch. Goes to show, beware when buying at the airport.. rarely better value.

For today, I booked Uncharted - an Indiana Jones-style adventure, which I figured would have less style, but at least stars Mark Wahlberg and Antonio Banderas. Figured it could be fun, and anyway, the choice for daytime isn't spectacular. Showing, as usual, at the Omniplex. What has happened to the traffic, however, I have no idea.. it was terrible, and I did miss the very start of the film. Never mind, I don't seem to have missed any major plot points. I did, however, come in at a dark part - literally; I couldn't see where any of the seats were, never mind mine! It was about five minutes before it brightened up enough for me to find my seat and - gratefully -sit in it.

So, the scene I came in on has what's obviously an older brother leaving his little brother. In an orphanage. We quickly fast-forward to the little boy all grown-up, an accomplished bartender and thief, played by Tom Holland. In short order, he's recruited by Mark Wahlberg with the promise of finding his long-lost brother - and the enticing idea of going after Magellan's gold! Especially appealing because the lad is a history buff.

Now, this is where fact and fantasy diverge. Yes, Magellan did lead an expedition - until he was killed - that circumnavigated the globe, the first to do so. And yes, it was financed privately by a wealthy family - not the one mentioned in the film though, of which Antonio Banderas is a member. And I can't say I ever heard of any hoard of gold associated with the trip. But what the hey.

Well, this is a peculiar mish-mash of a film. It starts as a kind of James Bond espionage thriller, with lots of people dressed nicely, in a swish venue - an auction house, where they're all trying to get their hands on a cross that's supposed to be necessary for finding this stash of gold. It then morphs into a kind of Indiana Jones adventure film - indeed, Tom Holland accuses one of his companions of trying to be Indiana Jones - lots of action, exotic locations, dark and mysterious corridors. Finally - spoiler - they do find the stash, including a couple of ancient Spanish galleons, complete with cutlasses etc. This bit is really going to appeal to people who are into that kind of stuff, for example the Pirates of the Caribbean crowd - hell, Mark Wahlberg at one point accuses Tom Holland of acting like Jack Sparrow.

It's entertaining, without doubt - the CGI is good, and there's plenty of action. Still, it lacks the charisma of someone like Harrison Ford, or the sweeping soundtrack of the Indiana Jones - or James Bond - films, and for me, fell a little flat for that reason. Still, this should interest anyone who likes treasure hunts, or as I say, Pirates of the Caribbean. Or who has an interest in history. Shall we say, it'll do until something better comes along.

Afterwards, I fancied a Chinese, and took my mother's advice to eat in Limerick. Most convenient, being on the correct side of the road and nearly at the city limits - is China-Ki, so I rocked up there. No problem in getting a seat. They don't do glasses of wine, it transpires, but instead quarter-bottles - it's a while since I've seen that, but no problem! And it was lovely to have a change in menu - I had chicken spring rolls and General Tso's chicken, and it was lovely. Not the very best I've had, but tasty. Service was good - but they don't bring your bill, you pay at the bar. Like the film, served its purpose.

On Monday, I've booked for The 47th, at The Old Vic. Written by Mike Bartlett, this imagines the American presidential elections of 2024. I am really looking forward to this play..

On Tuesday, I'm finally going to Six, the Musical! Based around the story of the six wives of Henry VIII (very loosely, I'd say), it's playing at the Vaudeville and I hear good things. Cheapest tickets from Leicester Square Box Office.

On Wednesday, back with Civilised London, who are off to the opera at the Southbank Centre. The show in question is The Paradis Files. On Thursday, I'm back to Ireland for Easter - but left it so late to book, I could only get an afternoon flight - no problem getting the day off work though!

Well, my friend got back to me - they're away in the middle of Easter week, back on the 21st, so the most sensible thing to do seemed to be to visit on the 22nd, which I've now arranged with her. Happily, my boss was also fine with me taking that week as holiday. Anyway, I'll fly back to London on the 24th. And on the 25th, I'm off to The Corn is Green, at the National.