Saturday 7 January 2023

Play: The Sex Party & Walk: The Mysterious Square Mile

Yesterday, I finally went to The Sex Party, at the Menier Chocolate Factory. My goodness, it's so long since I was last there, I couldn't remember my username, and had to ring them! (CT were advertising cheap tickets, but had sold out.) Interesting pause when I was talking to my mother on the phone, and told her I was off to a sex party at the chocolate factory.. ;-)

Unfortunately, their restaurant is closed "due to circumstances beyond [their] control", so - as I was to pass The Lucas Arms on the way - I thought I'd eat there. Mind you, I checked online beforehand, and they weren't taking bookings before 7pm - oh no, thought I, they're full! I also tried O' Neill's online, who weren't taking bookings before tomorrow. Huh, typical. So I figured I'd try near the theatre, and headed out. Now, as I mentioned, I was passing The Lucas Arms on the way - had a peek in, and it was mostly empty! So in I went, and got well fed there. Good to know. First time back this year - crikey though, you do need an appetite..

And so to the theatre, rather early - where the receptionist was far too helpful, checking for a physical ticket when I knew quite well mine was on my phone. Ah well, I got in eventually (complete with a complete set of directions from her - Lordy, it's been a while, but not that long!) and got a drink at the bar - and I was there so early, I also got a table! Wow. First time. I think I was there about half an hour early. Anyway, can't really recommend the sauvignon blanc here, it's quite insipid. Meantime, of course I ended up sharing my table. Which was fine.

When I'd finished my paper, I moseyed in. Bench seating, but handily, there was a free seat beside me, which afforded me some extra space.


So, the set was a well-appointed kitchen - in Islington, as it turned out. The island was festooned with alcohol and glasses, the garden just visible through the French windows to the left. There was beer in the fridge, we discovered, and the living room was just through a door to the right of stage. Oh, and one of the cupboard doors near the fridge hid the washing machine - which did come in handy at one point in the play. Although how that character automatically knew where to find it..! ;-)

And yes, our hosts were throwing a sex party! Not a swingers party, we quickly discovered - no, there wouldn't be any partner-swapping. (Well, until there was.) Now, this was not a play for the prudish - but I think the prudish know that already! So.. the language was what you might call spicy, and while the characters started the evening nicely dressed (to various levels of sexiness), clothes were gradually shed, and we got a nice selection of lingerie etc. By and large, the action took place offstage - we were fed titillating scraps of appropriate noises on occasion, and at one point, some very well-done, evocative shadows were projected through the door! Mind you, the funniest interaction with the living room was when someone told our host there'd been a spillage in there. "White or red?" he demanded. "Red," she admitted ruefully. "Where?" he exclaimed. "Oh, it's the Persian, isn't it?! Damn it, it would be the Persian.." rushing out with a cloth and a big bottle of salt..

It was hilarious! You name it, this covered it - we had every joke, certainly, that I could possibly think of related to the topic, and they were well done. The script sparkled. Oh, and there were plenty of practical tips for those who might not be experienced in this practice - for instance, a number of the guests brought a change of clothes. Well, you might not want to get your nice clothes messed up - alternatively, you might not feel like changing back into formal clothes after the evening's.. exertions! Oh, and the guy who needed the washing machine? He accidentally stepped in the pool, dirtied his trousers. And that's not the only reason he was a dead ringer for Boris Johnson! He had the messy hair, the gormless expression - spent most of the play wandering around without trousers on - kept apologising. Yep, all I could think of when I saw him was Boris..

We got a huge mix of characters, though. The hosts were a couple who met at a sex club; we also had a husband and wife, she'd known the man of the house for years, her husband didn't want her having sex with anyone else, so he was very definite about the "no-swapping" rule. There was a couple comprised of an American husband (who turned out to have some quite conservative views, for someone involved in this) and a Russian wife, sex-mad, straight talking, and hilarious! The wife of the trouser-less guy was unknown to the host - she turned out to be very woke, and highly opinionated! And when the final guest arrived - whom nobody but the host knew - well, the cat was well and truly among the pigeons!

Thing is, this sex party was a kind of vehicle for getting everything into the open. As the clothes were shed, so were people's pretences - and we got a huge level of honesty. Which wasn't always comfortable. Both private relationships and political views were aired in a jaw-dropping exchange - carried on in the kitchen while the party, apparently, continued next door. Any details we missed, we were filled in on later. By the end, we felt like we'd had as much of a workout as the characters - psychological, rather than physical. Fabulous. Sadly, tonight was the final performance - but do keep an eye out for it if it comes back! It's a cracker.

I booked so much stuff last night that there was no time to blog - keep reading for more.

Today, back with Laurence Summers and the 45+ Not Grumpy Old Londonersyay! This time, it was The Mysterious Square Mile Walking Tour. Wisely, I set my alarm, which I don't normally need to do - I'd never have woken in time, otherwise, given the hour I went to sleep at. Woke with a grumble, got myself out. The bus I needed to get was due to come at 10-minute intervals, and according to my Buses Due app, every single one was delayed - I ended up getting the first, it seems, just past the time the second was due! Which was absolutely fine. Funnily enough, almost every second stop along the way was closed, due to roadworks - happily, not the one I wanted.

I got turned slightly the wrong way around looking for Le Pain Quotidien, where we were to meet - it's not obvious, and I was a bit clueless that I was walking right past it, until one of the group, sat just inside the window, saw me and waved! Well, in my defence, I was still half asleep. Anyway, I ordered a hot chocolate, sat down and chatted to him - and to others, when they arrived. Absolutely great to see the folks again, first time this year! And this was just the start of what was a very chatty day - definitely one of the best Meetup groups I'm part of. I might have skipped the hot chocolate, though - although the coffee was apparently good, the hot chocolate was the blandest I've had in years! Not even a liberal dose of sugar helped - I won't be having it here again.

The group was somewhat depleted by the persistent train strikes - Laurence usually waits for 15 minutes past the scheduled time, but today, he figured, by 10 past, we had all we were going to. And we were off, into the grey drizzle. Mind you, despite dire weather forecasts, we didn't get much rain at all! just a few spots, now and then. Of course, we started around the corner, with the Monument:


The frieze depicts both Charles II and his brother, the future James II / VII, who was apparently in charge of firefighting operations during the Great Fire, which the Monument commemorates. And the design on the very top represents flames. We also heard the theory that, before the railing was built around the walkway near the top, more people actually died from falling off this than died in the fire!


On to Leadenhall Market, where we discovered that the flag of the City of London represents the cross of St. George, with apparently the sword that beheaded St. Paul:


Outside again, and at the corner of Cornhill, it seems - if you look up - that there's a statue of Ceres, the goddess of cereal! (among other things). As someone remarked, we just don't look up enough..


We learned that St. Michael's is traditionally the stockbrokers' church:


and that on the adjacent St. Michael's Alley, London's first coffee house was established during the Puritan era, because they weren't keen on alcohol!


We came across a couple of interesting statues - including one that looks like possibly the most comfortable statue in town, as he gets to sit for eternity!


I hadn't realised that the ground floor of the Bank of England is some 300 years older than the upper floors - the missing windows on the ground floor are apparently due to the Gordon riots, when a number were broken!


Here's a use I hadn't previously noted for a bus:


And we finished at St. Paul's. I hadn't realised that Christopher Wren originally intended the columns to extend all the way from bottom to top, but they had no way of transporting columns that large!

And so to lunch, at The Old Bell. A lovely pub, again built by Christopher Wren, with plenty of snug seating areas, and the Christmas decorations still up - which was nice, on a day we saw many being taken down. I didn't realise at the time, but I had actually been here before.


We were alarmed to discover a sign on the bar to say the kitchen was closed, but of the two behind the bar, one bravely volunteered to do the cooking! We had a limited menu though - they only had pies and burgers. Fair enough - now, after having a pie yesterday, I didn't fancy another, so decided on a burger. I asked about the Nicholson's burger, but was told they didn't have it, so I had the cheeseburger instead. Which was fine, except I think mine was the last to come out! Too much mayo, which meant I had to eat half with a knife and fork, but otherwise fine. Ooh, and their NZ sauvignon blanc was Oyster Bay! One of my favourites, lovely. And a smashing afternoon's conversation was had - looking forward to my next meeting with this group!

Tomorrow, headed with Cultureseekers (CS) to the "Executions" exhibition at the Museum of London Docklands. Should be nicely atmospheric - and mercifully, starting a bit later than today's event. The organiser was recently in touch, encouraging me to take out full membership, as I'd been to so many events, and could get a discount. Yeah, but most of them were during lockdown, and were free! I don't think it'd be worth my while - I don't go to nearly as many events with this group now.

On Monday, Up in the Cheap Seats (UITCS) are headed to Mandela, a musical at the Young Vic. Unfortunately, I was way too late for a cheap ticket - but then I noticed that someone attending couldn't make it, and had advertised two tickets for anyone who wanted - much cheaper than what I could get elsewhere. Front row, too! One ticket had gone - I messaged her, and yay, I got the other! She sent them through when they arrived today, and I agreed with the other guy who should take which!

On Tuesday, thinking film again - the listings site was typically slow, but had some info for next week. But given my experience on Tuesday - when it hadn't even included listings for my local cinema - I checked what was on there on this coming Tuesday as well. And lo, I came up with some not yet listed at all at that stage on the listings site.. highest rated is a documentary - Crows are White tells the story of a rather unusual Buddhist monk, who'd rather listen to heavy metal than birdsong..

On Wednesday, heading to Comedy in your Eye, at the Camden Eye. Tickets from Design my Night, including a free drink.

On Thursday - my first Crick Crack Club (CCC) event of the year! Online, but never mind - it's Nick Hennessy, at the Story Museum, performing The Kalevala. I think I remember hearing that he's the only non-Finnish person ever to win their competition to recite this! So, really looking forward to it. Then, of course, I'm back to Ireland for the weekend..

On the 16th, back with UITCS for The Art of Illusion, at Hampstead Theatre. Award-winning, it seems..

On the 17th, I'm headed to Chicago Blues Explosion in the January Blues Festival at the 100 Club. Just a shame their early bird tickets were sold out.

On the 18th, with TAC for a classical concert at King's Place (nice and close). This is the Kirckman Society for young artists, presenting Connaught Brass.

On the 19th, Ken's Green Walks for Health (aka Ken's Events, to those of us who know it from before) is off to see the Winter Lights at Canary Wharf. Now, I wouldn't go with them in a fit - but there's nothing to stop me seeing the lights myself for free, eh? I don't see the point in paying Ken £5 to lead a group around..

On the 20th (a Friday, unusually), back with Watkin's Bookshop for a book launch. This is Fifty Forgotten Books by R. B. Russell. Occult theme, as usual. Let's see whether I can avoid falling asleep this time!

On the 21st, back at King's Place - this time it's the CCC, with Stories in the Dark. Told in darkness, by the sound of it - sounds divine!

On the 22nd, back with CS for the Hieroglyphs: Unlocking Ancient Egypt exhibition at the British Museum. Assuming it's not curtailed due to transport strikes - there is a warning on the museum website that galleries might have to close early!

On the 23rd, I've finally booked for Best of Enemies at the Noel Coward Theatre. This play concerns a series of debates on US television between liberal writer Gore Vidal and conservative William F. Buckley in 1968 - the interesting twist here, given the time and place we're talking about, is to cast William Buckley as black! Had my own seat review on Seatplan to guide me in picking a seat - this is one of those restricted view/legroom theatres. And despite all the theatre offers flooding my inbox, I found the cheapest tickets for this on the official website! Mind you, what with See Tickets doing the selling, I found myself with a second, unexplained, booking fee..

For the next week or so, it's all UITCS! On the 24th, for some reason, I hadn't seen their advertised event to see Orlando, based on the book by Virginia Woolf, and showing at the Garrick. For this, however, I found the cheapest tickets from Official London Theatre (OLT).

On the 25th, we're off to see John Bishop at the Leicester Square Theatre. Love him, so I booked as soon as I saw this advertised - one of the few things for this month that I booked last month! Not that it seems to be selling out..

On the 26th, we're off to The Vaults Festival - specifically, The Welsh Lxdies, a bilingual show about the women of Wales. Then back to Ireland for the weekend again.

On the 30th, we're heading to Noises Off, starring Felicity Kendal, at the Phoenix. Again, cheapest tickets from OLT.

On the 31st, with a group I haven't joined in a Very Long Time - I'm back with London Dramatic Art, from whom I've got a front-row ticket for Sylvia, at The Old Vic; this is the story of Sylvia Pankhurst, and stars the excellent Beverley Knight. Completely sold out - this was my only way to get a ticket!

On the 1st, back with the Horror Book Club - Lordy, that means I need to read a book! :-) I suppose I can use my flights for that. This time, it's The Ballad of Black Tom, based on the Lovecraft story, The Horror at Red Hook, but told from the perspective of a black man. Which means I should really read that, too.. Nice, I'd like to get back to some Lovecraft! In the Prince of Wales, Covent Garden again. Question is, will the kitchen be open..?

On the 2nd, I'm on my own for My Son's a Queer (but what can you do?), a musical at the Ambassadors Theatre.

On the 3rd, my first meeting of the year with London Classical Music and Theatre Group! We're off to Wigmore Hall, to listen to the Hagen Quartet play Mozart. They're Austrian, so that's appropriate.. I just need to remember not to drink the ultra-expensive sauvignon blanc!

On the 4th, well, Laurence is back to Greenwich again. Now, I have been there with him before.. not sure how "new" this one will be, but hey, it was a great day last time!

On the 5th, nothing on Meetup appeals massively at the moment - I might go for a walk along the Ken's Events route, if I feel like it! (on my own).

On the 6th, my first actual event with Over 40 Living the Life. We're off to How Not to Drown at the Theatre Royal, Stratford East - the first event of theirs for which I couldn't get a cheaper ticket! So I decided, if I couldn't beat them, I might as well join them. True story of an unaccompanied, 11-year-old asylum seeker.

On the 7th of next month, excited to be headed to see Derren Brown in Showman, at the Apollo Shaftesbury Avenue. Cheapest tickets with OLT again.

On the 8th of next month, off to The Lehman Trilogy, at the Gillian Lynne Theatre. Based on the true story of the bank that collapsed. Got the last £39.50 ticket!

On the 9th of next month, back with UITCS for Winner's Curse, at the Park Theatre - an interactive show about a peace negotiation. And then I'm back to Ireland again.

And on the 13th of next month, I'm headed to Allegiance, starring George Takei in a musical based on the true story of his internment in an American internment camp during the Second World War. Showing at the Charing Cross Theatre.

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