I was working in Guildford today, and a 7 o'clock start at Soho Theatre meant I'd have to catch a train from Clapham Junction at 6.20 at the latest.. that'd be tight. So I had my passengers carefully drilled in the art of leaving the office early. Well, they were obliging - and gloriously light traffic (thank the half-term!) meant clear roads practically all the way. If only all journeys could be this short! So I arrived at Clapham Junction at about 6.05.
Checked the departure board for trains to Victoria.. "Due", "Due".. 6 mins. Third time lucky, I thought as I made my way to Platform 12. Arrived with 5 mins to go. The time came, the train didn't. The large crowd there were all looking at their watches as the minutes passed, and the departure boards disagreed: the one near me insisting, as we moved further past the time the train was due to depart, that it was still on time. After about five minutes, the platform announcer finally told us we'd have better luck on Platform 14.. down the stairs, down the corridor, up the stairs we went, and sure enough, did get a train from there. Eventually. Late.
Well, I was at least glad I'd arrived early, and had some leeway! Then it was Victoria Line to Oxford Circus, and walk to the theatre. Of course, I would find myself stuck behind a slow-moving, elderly French couple, just as I turned onto Dean Street and the place was in sight. Hey-ho, I made it in time to catch the Man with the Hat while he was still holding court in the bar.. and after me telling him he should probably leave my ticket at the box office. Figures. After a couple of minutes, I headed upstairs..
Seating is unassigned, and the usual principle applies: if there's a crowd, head down the aisle on the far side - it'll be much easier to get a decent seat over there. And it was - I got a pretty central one. We started a bit late, of course. On walked our star of the evening, Ursula Martinez. Very sophisticated.. white power suit, jewellery, red lipstick. I hadn't seen her before, and when she spoke, I got something of a shock - she reminded me of no-one so much as Maggie Thatcher. A combination of the accent and the power suit, methinks.
So it was something of a surprise when the work gloves appeared. She delights in shocking, this one - beaming at us as we looked on, bemused. And most of this quite unusual act involves her - building a wall. For real. With, you know, mortar and trowels and bricks. And her behind it.
Surreal. But quite clever, as she can use it as a distraction while she does her thing. Because she's not just building a wall, y'see. O no, she keeps quick-firing soundbites at us. While she's bricking herself in. And if she feels like a pause.. well, there's always another brick. And as you watch the rhythm of her bricklaying, you slip into the rhythm of joke (laugh), joke (laugh), not joke (aborted laugh). Clever - she slips the incendiary statements in there, and if things get too heavy, she can just flash a smile, and slap on another brick.
Those familiar with her shows will know to expect some nudity, and won't have been disappointed - although it did come as a surprise to some of our group. Particularly with all those bricks in the way. And a fine figure of a woman she is.. kudos to her too, on this cold night! Anyhoo.. A q&a afterwards cleared up such thorny questions as, did she go on a bricklaying course? (yes - and someone took her to task on her knowledge of the craft, too!) and how far does she go, down the road in the nip? (No, you just have to go see it, I'm not explaining that.) And more serious questions, about how elements of the show have been inspired by the barrage of emails and tweets she's got about previous shows - not all pleasant.
Surreal, provocative, intelligent. Recommended - and, q&a excepted, it'll only take up an hour of your time. Runs until Saturday.
Afterwards, we scurried off to the Nellie Dean again (yes, I'm familiar with it now!) Like the Soho Theatre bar, it was emptier than usual on this Monday night - upstairs was pretty deserted, so when we found a space downstairs we stayed there. And some got food, which looked decent. And I got wine, which was decent - and had my first contactless payment experience, which was freaky. (What, you mean I don't have to sign anything, or put in a PIN?) And as ever, we held court and the conversation flowed freely - until we were done, and wended our way home, and as I remarked, it was nice to get home early for a change!
Victoria Station was the usual muddle, with its departure board all higgledy-piggledy, trains in no particular order. It was miraculous that I noticed one that stopped at CJ was about to depart from a nearby platform - so I dashed for it, only to discover that the sadists weren't opening any doors at the rear of the train, so we all must needs dash for the middle. Made it, settled down with a paper. Had time to read most of it, too, considering the journey took twice as long as it should have.. stopping every so couple of minutes for unknown reasons. At least the view was nice:
And boy am I glad I'm working from home tomorrow! :-)
Tomorrow, the Man with the Hat is off to another classical concert at St. Martin-in-the-Fields. And so am I. Working from home, I'm sure to make it on time. Which is why I'd better be careful.. On Wednesday and Thursday, I'm back with LDAM - on Wednesday for The End of Longing, starring - and written by - Matthew Perry, at the Playhouse Theatre. His playwriting debut. I got my ticket through London Box Office. On Thursday, we're headed to The Patriotic Traitor, at Park Theatre. Tom Conti stars as Philippe Pétain, the title character, a good friend of De Gaulle, who nonetheless has him tried for treason as a Nazi collaborator.
On Friday, I've got another cheap ticket to the Circus Show at The Aeronaut - it'll be interesting to see how much the lineup changes from last time! On Saturday, I'm back with the London European Club, for Ballet Flamenco Sara Baras, at Sadler's Wells. Part of their Flamenco Festival. Olé! And on Sunday, I'm finally heading to one of those famous free gigs at the Finsbury - there are actually two Meetup groups heading there, I've signed up with both! - specifically, the World Music Meetup and London Gigs and Alternative Events.. 6 currently going to each, I see, but not the same 6, by the look of it..
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