Restaurant: Bill's (Clink Street) & The Gunpower Plot Immersive VR Experience

Yesterday, I finally got my postponed meeting with two of my ex-coworkers (one suddenly couldn't make it, he was dog-sitting) - and after my glowing reports of Bill's on Clink Street, we headed there! Optional drinks beforehand, I suggested The Old Thameside Inn. No word from Ivan by the morning as to when he wanted to meet, I had to chase him.

Well, first off he said he couldn't make it before 4, and would ping me at 2. And when he did, a bit after 2, it was to apologise and say he couldn't make it at all before the meal, and would see me at the restaurant! Just as well I didn't spend the afternoon there, cooling my heels - I stayed home and got other stuff done. Headed down in good time, and in glorious sunshine - dodging crowds of party-goers, one of whom had a full Union Jack suit. I was first to arrive at the restaurant, and killed some time in the gift shop across the street. Where I finally picked up a new Oyster card holder - something I've needed for years!

I went in when it was time - the others had been delayed, and Ivan only left home seven minutes before our agreed meeting time. Got shown to my table, told the others where it was. The third of our party got there shortly afterwards, and we decided to order drinks - she said, if Ivan hadn't arrived within another half hour, we should go ahead and order food. Anyway, he pinged us while we were waiting, and gave us an ETA, so we waited. I had one glass of wine downed by the time he arrived..

For starters, I had calamari again, the others had burrata and soup, respectively. And I think we were all happy with those - although the calamari was maybe a bit salty. For mains, I'd had steak before, but didn't fancy it this time, and chose the "chicken 2 ways" instead. The others each ordered salad, but as she's vegan, she asked whether vegan cheese could be substituted for the regular cheese on the menu - and was told that would be fine.

And that's where the trouble started. When the mains arrived, it was obvious which mine was - but the salads essentially looked the same, and the waiter obviously had no idea that there was supposed to be a difference. Now, for a restaurant that's supposed to take allergens seriously, and has a QR code on the menu that you can scan for more information, this was bad.. she was adamant that it was essential that they get them the right way around, as she's highly allergic to regular cheese. Back he had to go to the kitchen, where the chef stuck a flag in the vegan one - and must have got it right, because nothing untoward happened.

Things really went downhill from there - I wonder whether our waiter took exception to us after this? (Not the guy that brought the mains, but a different lady whom we had the trouble of dealing with for the rest of the night). For love nor money, we could not get her to bring us anything - even if we managed to grab her as she was passing, she'd nod and disappear, and we'd have to ask one or two more people before the thing was done. As to the food - the salads got eaten, but my chicken was quite disappointing; the breaded chicken was lovely, as was the accompanying truffle sauce, but the grilled chicken that completed the dish was tough, and I couldn't finish it.

Meantime, stuff was piling up on the table, because for all the times a waiter came to us, no-one ever thought to remove anything, even though much of it was obviously finished with!

Our third group member had to leave early - had promised to be home at a certain time to do stuff before they headed away for the rest of the weekend. So she made her excuses, paid her part of the bill (less the service charge), and left. Ivan and I stayed until closing - and it was terrific to see them both! Had we been able to find a pub, we'd have carried on for longer - but they were closed by now, too. (And the Old Thameside Inn had been really busy, so perhaps it was just as well that we didn't head there in the afternoon.) Anyway, looking forward to the next time - although the one who left early wasn't at all impressed at Ivan's tardiness, and I don't think they'll be hanging out again. And, of course, none of us will darken the doors of this establishment, ever again!

I came home and pretty much went straight to bed - just crashed, leaving the light on and all. Today - taking advantage of the bank holiday, I booked something that's been heavily advertised. At £60, it wasn't cheap, but I really fancied it, so I headed to The Gunpowder Plot, an immersive, combined VR and real-life experience at the Tower. You can get a themed lunch with that, but I passed. Earliest date now available is the 8th, at a minimum price of £50 (last few available) - the price increases as you get closer to the date. And ironic how these two events are closer to my old place.. So I stayed there until tonight.

They ask you to come half an hour early, at least - and I had to put the postcode into Google Maps to find the place! Obvious once you come across it..

So, you check in and they check you off the list, and give you a coloured wristband according to your time slot. They then direct you to the bank of screens that show the waiver you have to sign - so, as you come in, the people reading this are facing the entrance; don't make the mistake of thinking they're the ones who check you in! My though, the waiver is terrifying - a big long thing, it describes how you'll have to crawl, or climb over things as directed, although if you want, you can be shown alternative paths. Experience not suitable for those who experience motion sickness, or have a fear of heights - the floor will move. Heavens, I damn near chickened out! But I said, well surely they won't put us through too much..

Downstairs then, and a cheery lady explains to everyone coming down that they should wait in the bar, where circles on the wall have coloured lights behind them, which change to the colour of the wristbands corresponding to the next group, when it's their time to assemble at the entrance. Lockers are provided, and a keycard is given to you at checkin - you choose your own locker. NO instructions are provided - the lady beside me had trouble getting her locker open, and had to ask for assistance, and the same guy checked my locker after I'd finished with it, and chased after me to alert me that I hadn't locked my locker properly, so I had to go back and he helped me.

You can take in small bags, but not rucksacks - I kept my bag with me, which turned out to be just as well, because in the middle, there's a 15-minute interval in a themed bar, and I needed my cash. I did leave my coat though - so needed my bag, because without my coat, I had no pockets to put the keycard in! With nearly half an hour to kill, I headed to the bar at reception.

Table service only, so I sat at one. And waited, and waited.. jeez, what is it about this weekend that leads to such terrible service? I was wondering whether I needed to use the QR code on the table, but after about 10 minutes someone came and asked whether I'd like anything. I was thirsty, so ordered, and paid for, a lemonade. And waited, and waited.. After another 10 minutes, and with just 10 minutes to go to showtime, I stormed up to the bar and complained to the waiter who had taken my order, and was now standing there! When I explained that I was short on time, she put a hurry on the barman, who stopped whatever order he was preparing, and finally performed the complicated task of filling a glass with ice and squirting lemonade into it. Jesus wept. I was not impressed - but at least I got it drunk in time.

Now, the lady at the entrance hadn't been too specific about where exactly we were to wait, when our time came - so when I saw some folk heading into a side corridor, I followed them. Should have gone there earlier - there are things to look at, like example espionage notes, a lantern of the sort that would have been carried, a mask.. the lady scuttled in at one point to check that we all had the right colour wristbands. I think we should maybe have been waiting in the reception area proper, rather than going straight through to here - but then, maybe she should have paid us some attention, rather than ignoring us?

And so to the intro - sorry, no photography allowed inside the show. I have to say, it started most impressively, with a professional introductory talk and visual display, and a map of the area in 1605 on a table. And instructions on what to do with the headsets, and not to touch the actors. The waiver had said they might touch us, which was unnerving - but they never actually did, apart from brushing past us in narrow corridors. In point of fact, you can almost ignore that waiver - there is one bit where the surface under you moves, but you're sitting down for it, and all the other scary stuff happens in VR, so you can always close your eyes if you're not comfortable. Or take off the headset. And there's always someone to tell you where to go. There is one smoke effect, but again you're sitting down, not groping in the dark - and despite what the waiver says, there is no period of complete darkness.

The live acting, I have to say, is excellent - and they're terrific with the kids. One smallie in our group was scared to start with, what with the loud, scary noises and the dark - but they had a clever way of dealing with it; they just told the kids they were the bosses, and she was the chief boss, and had to keep us all in line! Soon into the experience, we were taken to a room where they had cloaks for us to wear - tricky to figure them out in the dark, and quickly, but they were a good idea, because without my coat I was feeling a bit chilly - it is quite cool in the experience. And they do get you in the mood - she, in particular, loved hers, and was jumping up and down, flapping it!

There actually isn't much VR - three episodes, as I recall. And damnit, only one of them worked properly - and that was jumpy! For the second, one of the staff was asking us why we were all taking off our headsets - well, because the message to remove them had flashed up! After that, many of the headsets' video displays wouldn't work, including mine - I should have tried another, but it seemed like a hassle. They kept apologising, and saying we could see it afterwards - well, that's not much use, now is it? For the final VR, would you believe, a couple of headsets weren't working again - but I switched this time, and got to see the end of the story. Which had Guy Fawkes travelling though time to see how he was to be remembered in the future - a bit naff, I thought.

Perhaps the worst technological malfunction of the event, however, was when we were locked in a not-very-large room for about 15-20 minutes, our progress obviously delayed by something that had gone wrong, and they were trying to fix. Unfortunately, one of the kids was claustrophobic, and it was quite dark, and as the minutes passed, he got more and more scared, culminating in a panic attack. After much banging on the door we were to go through, someone opened it and asked us to be patient - happily, it wasn't long after that until we were on the move again.

A repetitive display at the exit was largely ignored - and exit, of course, is through the gift shop, where almost everything is themed for the show. Oh, and when I was leaving, the box to drop the locker keycard in had a pile of keycards beside it - the lady had to tell me to use the box, instead of adding to the pile. Again, no instructions. Now, for what they're charging for this - I'd have to say, it really isn't worth it. Never mind that most of the VR didn't work right, or didn't work at all! (The earpieces were also hard to adjust.) And obviously wouldn't have been fixed in time for the next group, as they were coming through constantly. Had it all been live action, it would actually have been more enjoyable. Currently booking until the 4th of September. There are much better things to do in London, though.

Coming out, I was hungry - hadn't seen that themed restaurant they're supposed to have, so had a look at what was around, and headed over to St. Katharine's Docks, where it turns out there are lots of eateries. Saw a branch of Ping Pong and thought, well, I haven't had Chinese in London for years! so I went over and got a table. And the kindly maitre d' explained the menu to me - it's multiple choice, you could say, you just select the dishes you want!

Well, that was to be the best service I got there. For heavens' sake, it feels like they're out to get me this weekend! I was literally drumming my fingers when a waiter finally caught sight of me, made her way over, and asked, rather surprisedly I thought, whether I'd like to order! Gee, yes please.. so I had prawn crackers (six, I think they gave me for about £3, with a very nice spicy mango dip), and a chicken katsu rice bowl with curry sauce in a little bowl - nice and light. And a nice glass of Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc. And when I was done, she asked whether I'd like anything else, so I ordered a couple of scoops of chocolate ice cream.

Service was on the slow side of acceptable. But the final straw for this atrocious couple of days of customer service came when I was waiting for ages to catch someone's eye for the bill. I asked him for the bill, he said "of course" - and promptly disappeared. And so, after waiting for another while, I'd had enough. I got up, slowly put on my coat, and strolled to the exit. Past the serving stations, past the waiters stood there chatting, through the door, and out through the seating area. No-one noticed, no-one followed me. I call that karma. Makes the service so much more palatable if you get the food for free.. Needless to say, I'm never going back there anyway.

Tomorrow, I'm booked with Walks, Talks and Treasure Hunts again for A Nosey Around Soho. In association with London Guided Walks as usual, a £3 discount for using the code MEETUP3, which at least covers the booking fee. Looks like Hazel herself is running this one - if so, it'll be the first time I'll have seen her in years. Assuming I'm not a couple of minutes late, and miss her. Well, if I do get to go, I hope she doesn't spam me, like she still is after the last one, with constant ads for her podcast and requests for reviews! Of course, if you go on her site, there seems to be no way to leave a review.. AND I see she advertises these on TAC now, with a £3 cash charge on the day to the guide - still, this would be the cheaper option. (and ACLUB also gets you a £3 discount on the full price..)

Johann Strauss Gala

Ivan wanted to meet today - but in the end he wasn't sure he could make it, what with drinks planned with the company he's soon to be leaving, in Oxford. So I did my own thing, and thought of film again. Now, once I'd excised all the films at the top of the list that I just wouldn't be interested in - war films, for instance, and Le Mans '66 - the top film was something called Cep Herkülü: Naim Süleymanoglu. Based on the true story of an ethnic Turkish weightlifter born in Bulgaria, who defected to Turkey during the Communist Party's rule in Bulgaria, it does look interesting. However, it's only showing in the Odeon Lee Valley, at 10pm. Which sounds like too much hassle.

The London European Club was heading to a tarantella concert, which I'd be interested in, but that PERSON was attending (regular readers might remember her). So I wasn't. Then I saw that London International Meetup was headed to a "surprise" classical concert at the Royal Festival Hall this afternoon. Heh, it didn't take too much detective work to figure out that they were off to the Johann Strauss Gala! Popular favourites, with dancers in period costume - yes, that sounded nice. Unfortunately, their cheap tickets were already sold out, of course - and sure enough, my cheap ticket company, CT, was selling them too, which is probably where the organiser got his. Which he then sold on at a profit - well, it's a great business model. CT was also sold out of tickets for it, when I looked. Never mind, I booked myself a full-price ticket - it took forever to find the cheapest though, since they don't give any indication of price until you select a seat! I booked in the balcony, but I've been upgraded here before, and there were tons of empty seats.. so I might have got lucky.

Was up late, but got just about enough sleep, and after a bitterly cold wait for the bus, made it in good time. I was on the opposite side from the singing lift, but made a special trip to the other side of the building, specifically to ride in it. So it was a great disappointment to hear it not sing! I wasn't the only one, either. Aww..! Neither did I get an upgrade - no, it turned out the balcony was quite heavily booked after all, and I had to schlep all the way up to the second row from the back - which led to problems coming down, later, with my fear of steps. Hey-ho, the view was decent:

The guy beside me had a terrible habit of chewing his nails. Constantly, and noisily. Mercifully, he and his companion moved into the nearly-empty row in front of us for the second half, this saving me from strangling him. And otherwise, it was excellent - although I have to admit to having trouble staying awake. It's been a tiring week, and the seats there are so comfy, and I was in the back, in the dark, and the music was so soothing and familiar..

Very much reminiscent of the New Year's Day concert from Vienna, as shown on the telly, this covered all the highlights - and after the first piece, the dancers were brought on. Appropriately - after all, this music begs to be danced to. They even had a soprano, for the odd aria. And of course, every time the ladies went off stage, they came back on wearing a different outfit. Very pretty, very classic. They saved the Blue Danube to the end, and with only three gentlemen dancers, three lady dancers, and the soprano wanting a turn on the dance floor as well - why, the orchestra conductor did the honours! A most pleasant way to spend the afternoon. I didn't try to meet with the others - I only met the organiser once, years ago, and never met any of the other attendees.

Afterwards, I was hungry - Google Maps directed me to Cote, but after a long queue in the cold wind, I discovered that they were so heavily booked that I'd be waiting for hours! Nuts to that. Continuing in my search, I discovered there was a Ping Pong down the way - so I went there, and was seated in minutes. Service was delightfully efficient, despite the crowds. And what I had was uniformly delicious! Prawn crackers with a spicy sauce, duck spring rolls with a delicious hoisin sauce, char siu buns, chicken and cashew nut dumplings.. I thought they were the highlight until I had the seasonal praline ice cream dessert! Yum. Very good choice. And with the freezing wind blowing up outside, I was glad my bus didn't take long!

And tomorrow, I'm back with CT - this one booked before yesterday's, to make the three-month rule. Before they changed the rule, so you now only have to book once per year. Would've been nice to have been told that. Anyway, I'm going to the Clapham Comedy Club at the Bread & Roses. Crumbs, it's ages since I've been there! And this is the first of a lot of comedy gigs I've booked over the next few months..

Talk: Why the Universe Shouldn't Exist

With nothing much on Meetup for yesterday, I was thinking of a film: but gee, Makala came top again. Or a film called Raid, whose closest showing was in Shepherds Bush at 10.05pm! So, film not enthusing me - instead, back with Funzing (via London Speaks Sessions), for a "dim sum talk" about "Why the Universe Shouldn't Exist". Should be interesting. Oh, and LDN Talks @ Night then advertised the same thing, so I signed up with them as well. They also offered a 10% discount code.. but then, I did already get a 10% discount. 

Sure enough, during the day, both Meetup groups cancelled the Meetup. Predictable, but weird - what is it with them? Do they not want it on record? I've actually had them cancel Meetups that were in progress. Anyway, I checked, and Funzing was still running it - so off I went. Now, I've been in Ping Pong before - didn't help with getting to it, as I was coming from the other side, but it did help with finding my way once I was inside. Talks are all the way down in the basement, and it's not hugely obvious where you're going - they could do with a sign or two. On this occasion, they didn't open the downstairs bar, so I had to get a drink upstairs and bring it down with me.

The basement wasn't terribly crowded when I arrived, but the chairs were so packed that it was difficult to make your way to the back - so I didn't, and took pretty much the same seat as last time I was a talk here, at the front. A spare seat beside me gave me room to leave stuff on. I'd arrived at around the time the doors opened, and it was a while before they got started, so I spent my time booking stuff ahead - of which more anon. When they did get going, I was to be glad the mc wasn't giving the talk - he was incomprehensible! Happily, the actual speaker was much clearer - despite a dicky mic, which kept cutting out.. and not to mention the typical hubbub from upstairs. Typical Funzing - they claim on the website that they use "carefully curated" venues, but many of their talk venues are just not fit for purpose.

The talk, however, was pure gold. Delivered by Harry Cliff, who works at CERN as well as holding a joint fellowship with the University of Cambridge and the Science Museum, it was absolutely packed with technical detail - but, as you'd also expect from someone who presents often, it was quite accessible, and peppered with humour. I really don't think I've ever been at a talk before where quarks, the building blocks of matter, as he said, were explained so thoroughly. 

His basic premise was to describe how the standard model does a wonderful job of describing the universe as it is - explaining how, for example, it predicts the existence of the recently discovered Higgs-Boson particle (he showed a picture of the jubilant lecture where that was announced, pointing out how this is how particle physicists look when they get excited). It decays very fast, see, which is what makes it so elusive. Also known as the "God particle", it is the particle that gives mass to matter.. (sort of). Okay great! The standard model breaks down in extreme cases, however - which, to be fair, is true of most models - and can't explain why, not only is the expansion of the universe not slowing down.. it's speeding up!

Now, he did mention a number in relation to this particle, which I think was 286, and to my shame, I cannot remember what that relates to! I do remember that he pointed out that scientists are very suspicious about such a precise number, and that if it went too far in one direction, we'd just have a universe full of black holes, and too far in the other direction would leave us with a universe just full of featureless static. "Too far" mightn't be very far, either. Pity I can't remember what it is.. and just as well I don't have my hand on the dial that controls it! Answers on a postcard, please..

At the interval, I nipped to the loo, which is down a labyrinthine hallway, "Staff Only" on all the doors you're not to take - usefully. When I got back, our dim sum had arrived - and it was lucky I'd been before and knew what it all was, as no-one was in a hurry to tell us. Very nice food, though.

A terrific talk (even if I can't remember all the details) was followed by a Q+A, where questions were nicely mixed with the daft and the sensible. I am so glad that I happened upon this - there had been so little on for yesterday, but this guy is well worth listening to, and I recommend heading to see him if you get the chance. As an aside, I've had a cough for the last damned month, and California just made it worse, would you believe - mercifully, although I did get a persistent fit of coughing during this, it wasn't until near the end of the Q+A. After a cold wait for the bus, when I got home, I got into such a flurry of booking things that I decided to leave the blog for today, it'd take so long just to describe what's coming up!

Tonight, back with Funzing - a Walking in London tour of Ghosts of the Old City. (Yes, it's different to the last one..) I presume they won't cancel this during the day. For both of these events, got a 10% discount - they alternate between the codes crazy_fun and LoveFun, these days.

Tomorrow, back at a proper Meetup at last, to the Park Theatre with Up in the Cheap Seats for the opening night of Pressure. Then I'm back to Ireland (yes, again!) for Easter, flying back to London on Monday. I see there's a treat for BBC viewers - Andrew Scott's Hamlet, from last year, is being broadcast on BBC2 on Saturday. Interesting choice for Easter. I just wonder whether his performance will be as electrifying on screen as it was live.. Man with the Hat, if you're reading, make sure to watch this! I know you would have loved to see it live.

Next Tuesday, Meetup is throwing up a couple of things I'd have been interested in - Up in the Cheap Seats is off to the ballet at the Opera House, and North London Friends is off to see a play called Black Men Walking at the Royal Court. And wouldn't you know it, by the time I got around to checking, they were both sold out! Blast. (Mind you, I read a not-great review of the play, last night). Although there seemed subsequently to be some tickets left for the ballet, which is now sold out again. Anyway, in the meantime, I got the last £15 ticket - from the official website - for Bat Out of Hell, in the Dominion Theatre. Rear stalls - not so shabby. Should be fun. Then a couple more events were advertised that I'd have been interested in - too late, guys, I usually book earlier than that!

On the 4th, I'm headed (finally, it's been so long!) to see the Crick Crack Club perform The Gods and Monsters Show at Rich Mix. Now, I don't know what's with the head of their Meetup group, but she seems to think it's on two days later - I did comment on the event page to that effect. Just check the venue website, as I then said. Or indeed, the Crick Crack Club's own website. Daft woman hasn't changed it yet. Not that it wouldn't have suited me to have it on another day - I'd be missing London Literary Walks' first outing of the year, damnit! But it's for a very good cause..

Then I checked, and wouldn't you know it, he subsequently shifted the walk to the 5th! Seems he now works alternating shifts, so dates can change at short notice. Well, this one worked out great for me. Sadly, I'll be missing North London Friends' trip to the Moors Bar Blues Jam and Drinks - well, you can't have everything. I'd never be up to Crouch End in time after the walk.

On the 6th, with nothing much on Meetup, I booked - with my £3.60 club, when they finally put something on - for Banana Crabtree Simon, at the Drayton Arms. A play about dementia, it might be terrible, but I can give it a try.

On the 7th, back with Up in the Cheap Seats, for The Inheritance, at the Young Vic - both parts, so the whole day! With each part running to about 3.5 hours, I hope it's worth it.. Vanessa Redgrave takes part (only in Part II).

On the 8th, I had booked for London's Grime & Punishment Tour, with Walking in London again. However, when I checked Crick Crack's Meetup group.. I discovered I'd forgotten about their story of The Liberty Tree - Robin Hood and Other English Radicals, at the British Museum! What's more, it's hosted by Hugh Lupton, and my second-favourite storyteller, Nick Hennessy. I'd have hated to miss this - thank heaven there are still tickets. Not to mention that I could blithely cancel the walk, as it's Funzing, and it'd already been used to amass a loyalty discount, so I had no penalty at all.

On the 9th, back with Let's Do This for Nell & the Hot Mess Muggers, at Wilton's. Now, that should be a good night..

On the 10th, the London European Club (LEC) advertised a free classical concert in St. John's, Smith Square. Email musikolondon@gmail.com for tickets, subject to availability.

On the 11th, Up in the Cheap Seats is off to see Pericles, at the Barbican.

On the 12th, the LEC is going to Voices of America, at Sadler's Wells. Goodee, two nights in a row that I can walk! Then I'm back to Ireland for the weekend again.

On the 16th, tragically, a Crick Crack event that I found out about too late.. Red Bead Woman, with Martin Shaw at Soho Theatre, is sold out. Never mind, he's not one of my favourites anyway. Instead, back with the Funzing talk groups for The Story of Accent and Identity.

On the 17th, (nominally) going with London Science Events for a talk on Gravitational Waves and Beyond, at the Royal Institution. They've given no Meetup details, so I'm not anticipating a social evening.

On the 18th, Funzing again, for The Strangest Feeling: Déjà Vu, at Gabeto, in Camden Market. Presented by Anthony Peake, whom I spent a long time researching to make sure he's not a sceptic, as I have extensive personal experience of precognitive experiences.

On the 19th, back with London Literary Walks - he's only doing them fortnightly now, it seems. Well, he's covered half of London at this rate! And he seems to prefer Thursdays, which are working out better for me so far. This one is called Guitar Bands Are on the Way Out, Mr. Epstein.

On the 20th, I got the very last ticket to The Phlebotomist, downstairs at Hampstead Theatre. I'm going with Up in the Cheap Seats - North London Friends are seeing it in preview, but it was already sold out for that night. For the 20th, one of the group is looking to sell her ticket, if you're interested - I didn't see that until I'd got mine.

On the 21st, I'm back with London Discovery Walks for yet another ghost tour - this one is called Ghosts of the Old City.

On the 22nd, back with Up in the Cheap Seats, for a film music gala at the Albert Hall.

And on the 23rd, a Funzing talk - An Introduction to the Dark Net. At Sink.. For which I earned a loyalty discount, on account of all I booked last night!

Walk: Forgotten Old London & Concert: Northern Chords Festival Ensemble

Today, another walk, with Funzing, via Walking in London - Forgotten Old London is one I've had my eye on for a while. Hopefully, this would be more successful than yesterday's. I was all better today, anyhow. An earlier start, but not too early - and I'd been to bed early - so I had no problem getting out in time, really. Especially since the meeting point - outside Barbican Station - is literally just 10 minutes' walk down the road! (Gee, I didn't think I was that close..)

More photos here. Now, this station is completely shut today. I know, it's a pain for tourists and such at the weekends - can't be helped, they're trying to avoid midweek disruption. Anyway, I was first there, and had plenty of opportunity to appreciate the biting wind. Apparently, we're headed for the coldest week of the winter - certainly feels like it! Anyway, two Meetup groups were meeting there at roughly the same time, which caused a small deal of confusion - the other was a photography course. Never mind, just after the photography guy arrived, our fearless leader appeared, unfurling his flag - and it was Jess again, of Fun London Tours! Excellent - he ran a great walk on Secret London, which I was on last year. I was rushing for that one - no such trouble today.

We hung on for about five minutes after start time, in the hopes that two final people who'd booked would show - but they never did. Never mind, off we popped to Charterhouse Square - which I'd never even known was there! Very close to where I live, it turns out to have been the largest mass grave in London during the Black Death! Oo-er..

..and as if that wasn't enough, they also used it as the exterior of Poirot's apartment building in the tv series:

On, then, to Smithfield Market - where I hadn't known they practiced wife-selling, a practice that continued right up to the last century! And to the perennial favourite, the Church of St. Bartholomew the Great, with its picturesque doorway: the story of the Bartholomew Fair, and the execution place of William Wallace, just the other side of the doorway - where someone has fastened a wee poem, "The Little White Rose"! Aww..

Down, then, to Pye Corner, where the Great Fire ended, and - being across the road from St. Bart's (with its Sherlock Holmes graffiti) - tales of the Resurrection Men, who procured corpses, for use by anatomy students, by means that were none too legitimate! We passed through the garden of Christchurch Greyfriars (for once, no mention of Queen Isabella!), and stopped at the Roman ruins on Noble Street. Finishing in the Guildhall, he told another tale I hadn't heard, about human remains they found that - based on the materials found alongside - give the indication of having belonged to a gladiator.. a female gladiator! If true, this would be the first found in Europe. Crikey, girl power, eh?

A much better walk than yesterday's - he brought pictures to illustrate what he was describing, kept his descriptions to what was relevant, moved at a reasonable pace. But then, he's an experienced guide! You can't possibly fit everything into one walk - there were things I could have added to what he had to say today, but I'm sure he was aware of them too. Always good, this guy - recommended.

Freezing cold and hungry, I fancied a Chinese - Google Maps helpfully suggested that the nearest was Ping Pong, six minutes' walk away. Ok then, and I was soon gratefully entering the heat of the restaurant. I got a table near the window; not a place that encourages lazing around, this - the chair backs barely deserve the name! Anyway, first I paid a visit to the loo - and the water from the taps, warm by default, was pure heaven on my frozen hands..

Dim sum only - I ordered prawn crackers (which come with a dip), rice (plain is the only option as a side), soy chicken skewers, and chicken and cashew nut dumplings, with a hint of sweet chilli. With a large glass of house wine, the bill came to just under £20 - just over, when the discretionary tip was applied. And it was all very nice - the blandness of the rice was compensated for with the judicious application of soy sauce, supplied in a jug on the table. I skipped dessert - I had chocolate at home (since finished).

I was frozen to the core on the walk home - so my first task upon arrival was to change into warmer clothes. See, this evening, someone suggested a classical concert in King's Place - and I thought, why not? So I booked. I was kind of regretting it, having to venture out into the cold again. Never mind, off I trotted - Google maps thought I'd need 30 minutes to walk there, so I left 45, and it took 40, what with getting slightly lost on the way.

The programme started with Janáček's Violin Sonata - an evocative piece, but somewhat discordant. The others were easier on the ear - Mendelssohn's Piano Trio No. 2, and - after the interval - Brahms' Piano Quartet No. 1. The elderly couple to my right didn't last past the first half - the sleepy student type to my left, however, got himself a hot drink at the interval, and kept time all through the second half, finishing with an enthusiastic round of applause! For me, it was a restful way to finish the weekend. And my walk home was five minutes quicker - boy, was I glad to be in!

Tomorrow, back with Up in the Cheap Seats, at Hampstead Theatre, for Dry Powder.

Talk: The Psychology of Criminals

Tonight, another Funzing talk, courtesy of London Speaks Sessions and LDN Talks @Night - I finally got to see Jennifer Rees again, giving a talk on The Psychology of Criminals. With dim sum, great! (Had to stick with a 10% discount for this one - Fun_Day10 or Fun_Week10 are the ones you want for that.) And it was walking distance from me for once, in Covent Garden. She's a fantastic and engaging speaker. Excellent.. and Helen sensibly decided to come too.

So, she showed up in the office at about the time I finished. She kindly brought all the stuff I couldn't fit in my bag, coming back from Twickenham! I'd actually forgotten it. Now, although we were to get dim sum, we decided to get something more substantial to eat beforehand - there was no guarantee that we'd eat all of what we were given, or that it'd be substantial enough. We had no firm ideas about what we wanted, but Covent Garden is rife with restaurants, se we decided just to pop into one that took our fancy as we passed. And so it was that we came to Steak & Co.

Dark reddish-brown wood panelling was reminiscent of blood.. and as we ordered, the procedure was explained to me (Helen had chicken, but I decided to go for steak, to see how it compared with the last, excellent offering I had). The is one of those places where you get the steak rare, served on a sizzling hot stone, then cook it to your liking, accompanied by a butter (which you smear on the stone to help cooking), a salt or shake, and a sauce for the actual eating. I'd never tried this before - you're meant to slice the steak into strips so you can judge the cooking, and not apply the sauce until it's on your side plate, so as not to cool the stone. Helen had something much simpler - the "hanging" chicken skewer, which literally hangs over the plate. Funnily enough, it still has a cow on top:

We were well fed, the red wine sauce was amazing, and it was interesting to try - but I don't know how feasible it is to cook something and eat it simultaneously. Inevitably, it goes wrong - the bits don't cook fast enough, or cook too fast, and as the meal progresses, the stone cools and cooking is less effective. Not the cheapest either, for steak - you get the aforementioned, but all sides are extra. Anyway, we might have had dessert, but dim sum was calling - plus, it took us quite a while to pay, and although we were only a couple of minutes away from the venue, we still managed to be late.

From one restaurant to another - the talk was being held in Ping Pong Chinese restaurant. Where we gave our names at the door, and were directed to the basement. It hadn't started yet, of course - add half an hour to any of the advertised Funzing times. The screen was already up, and we were told to sit anywhere - the promised dim sum were to arrive at the interval. And when they did, sure enough, we only ate about half, and were glad we already had full stomachs. A very welcome, large container of iced water was available for anyone who wanted to fill a glass, and there was a bar - confusingly, without till: you had to pay at the till at the back.

Jennifer Rees didn't disappoint. Thoroughly researched, expertly presented as usual - and she showed how well she can deal with both a rowdy audience, and tech issues, which one of the Funzing guys sorted for her when necessary. She was upfront about the fact that she'd presented us with the most dramatic and extreme cases, in the interests of entertainment. However, as she emphasised a couple of times, she wouldn't show pictures of dead bodies - although she did show some of the artefacts recovered from the home of Ed Gein, the inspiration for a number of horror films, whose victims were dismembered and whose body parts were made into household objects!

She mentioned a number of theories that have been propounded for criminal behaviour, starting with behavioural learning theory, where people are assumed to pick up their behavioural traits from the behaviours of those they see around them. However, there were others - such as the idea that you could tell a prospective criminal from their physical characteristics. She pointed out statistics that show that many more men than women commit crimes - but in the case of women, in many cases it's been attributed to PMT! A very interesting section of the talk dealt with cognitive theories, where they way a person thinks can be supposed to determine the likelihood of them developing criminal tendencies. Religion is seen to play a factor, and she spent some time on criminals' lack of a sense of responsibility for their crimes.

The talk was peppered with famous names - Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, Aileen Wournos - and with videos, both disturbing and amusing. One video showed an interview with Susan Atkins (one of the Manson family that killed Sharon Tate), creepy in her soft-spoken way, adamant that everything she'd done was because she'd been told to do it. A lighter mood showed a serial killer on an American tv dating show.. And throughout, the speaker engaged us in quizzes along the lines of "guess whether this person is a criminal". An absorbing and educational evening - looking forward to the next one!

I was just looking up what to do tomorrow - and wouldn't you know it, at that moment the Pop-Up Opera sent me a mail with upcoming events. Une Éducation Manquée is a short, French comic opera, whose run finishes that day. All right then!

On Thursday, my first Meetup with Up in the Cheap Seats, one of several new groups I've joined to fill the great void left by the sad departure of the Man with the Hat. We're off to see The Tempest, with Simon Russell Beale, at the Barbican - who, unusually, posted my ticket to me. Then I'm back to Ireland for the weekend again.

On Monday, back with Let's Do This for a vintage swing jazz evening at Wilton's.

Next Tuesday - well, a member of Up in the Cheap Seats has obviously got a thing for the Camden Fringe Festival, because he's just advertised a whole host of stuff on there! And I've booked most of it.. Tuesday sees two short plays: Beautiful Little Fools, in The Cockpit, and Borders in a Bedroom, in the Tristan Bates Theatre.

On the 9th, I had booked free comedy in Greenwich, with Free Comedy Nights in Hammersmith, Wimbledon and Greenwich, and Random London. But instead I'm headed to the last thing I'm ever likely to go to with the comedy groups: London Live Comedy and Funzing UK have advertised "Gangster Magic" at The Water Rats. Magic and comedy - we'll see. For a minute there, I thought the magician was the same guy that organises the free comedy - they have the same name: but there is at least one magician out there called Marvin, so hopefully it's not the guy I know.

On the 10th, the London European Club is off to a contemporary dance performance called Morphed, at the Royal Festival Hall. It's part of the Nordic Matters festival, apparently.

On the 11th, handily enough, Spooky London Pubs (another new group for me - I think!) are hosting a talk on Conan Doyle and the Mysterious World of Light. Handiest of all, it's in the King and Queen - my local! Why, I pass it every day..

And on the 12th, I'm finally back with London Dramatic Arts, for the opening night of Against, with Ben Whishaw, at the Almeida. I'm in the rear stalls - they also have tickets in the front stalls, for a higher price, of course. They're actually also going to see Apologia, with Stockard Channing and Laura Carmichael, earlier in the day, but for a ridiculous price, so I passed on that.