Play: Horseplay

Today, I signed up for a walk called Papers, Palaces & Priories: a Guided Walk of Fleet Street and the Strand, by London Walks, Art & Culture Explorers. But last night - listening to the torrential rain bucketing down outside - I had a look at the weather forecast, which promised rain all day, from morning. So I cancelled, and instead - there not being a helluva lot on Meetup - turned to TAC. Where I had a choice of two plays - Horseplay, at Riverside Studios, is further out, but looked more fun, so I booked that.

The day dawned clear - tarnation, and that walk looked good! But I'd booked the play now. The theatre emailed me the ticket, which was handy - they like you to come half an hour early to pick them up, so that it can be done discreetly, which I now didn't have to do. The rain was now supposed to come later - and wouldn't you know it, it bucketed down just as I headed out! (A friend messaged me about this time, pointing out that it was happening at the time of the new PM's speech, which he mused might have been an omen. He may have been right.) Ironically, I wouldn't have got wet at all if I'd gone on the walk, and headed home after - as it was, I was soaked. Now, for dinner, I wasn't going near Riverside, after my overpriced experience last time - I just went to O' Neill's, where I was fed well, and cheaply.

This far out, as usual, it had to be Tube - I figured the Piccadilly Line would be more crowded in the early evening, so ended up on the Circle Line instead. Where I got a seat, by virtue of heading to the end of the train - doesn't matter which end, just don't go for the middle. Unfortunately, while this train was going in the right direction, the Circle Line is - well, like a circle, with a string hanging off one end, which goes to Hammersmith. Which is the bit I needed: but this train was doing the loop. So I had to change. This was announced just as we approached Edgware Road, so I changed there - happily, it's just a cross-platform change.

Every stop we stopped at, on the Hammersmith line (which is above ground), when the doors opened, it was to a curtain of rain. With that, and the lowering skies, I wasn't optimistic about my walk from the station - but as it happened, it was clear then. And this time, I knew where the entrance was! Now, I seem to remember Riverside Studios being a more accessible place - not that it's actually unfriendly or anything, but nothing is really simple. There is a bar attached to the cinema - but otherwise, no separate bar! There's that restaurant I was in last time, or the bar / kitchen. Which was table seating only - nor could I see anyone ordering at the bar.

Not, mind you, that anyone was watching me to see that I needed a seat! Oh no. I had to go in search of them, and explain that I just wanted a drink. Fine, they showed me to a table - with a reservation sign on it, which was - apparently - no longer valid. I needed to vacate it in an hour - well, I was within an hour of the show, so that was fine too. I was left with a food menu and a drinks menu. Looking at the food, nothing appealed - I was glad I'd eaten before coming. The wine wasn't the most expensive I've had - it was the second-most expensive. On the plus side, they are dog-friendly, bringing a bowl of water for an attractive little terrier that came in with his humans. Honestly though, what a kerfuffle, just for a drink - if you're not a dog..

I had nearly finished the drink by the time the house opened - and the box office had sent me a second ticket! I flagged it with them, they apologised and said my original booking was still valid. With the first ticket in Row A, and the second in Row D, I thought I'd stick with the original - mind you, it turned out to be right at the end of the row (which wasn't even the first row, but the second): so I might have been better to switch. My view was a little restricted:

That, I'll have you know, is a sex dungeon. Well now. The steps to the left lead to the door, a couple of curtained alcoves hide interesting items, there's a red-lit fake window (we are in a basement) with a candelabrum, and a bed. Complete with - accessories. All becomes clear in due course, and the play does carry a warning of explicit content. And loud noises.

So, this couple have booked the sex dungeon as a treat. Unfortunately, things don't go exactly to plan - cue a lot of tittering, the British being famous for their attitude to sex, and things kinky. It all starts to go wrong when, with the customers incapacitated, the "escort" - or "master" - who is the only one free to move around.. slips and knocks himself out. Shades of a number of horror stories I can think of, there - most appropriately, Gerald's Game by Stephen King, where a woman is handcuffed to a bed, when her husband has a heart attack and dies. Similar circumstance here - they're restrained, and he's out cold. Not to mention that the door has a passcode - which they don't know! And that's just the start.

It's well-acted, and has quite a cute guy playing the "master". I'd have found it funnier if I were inclined to giggle automatically when anyone mentions sexual stuff - sadly for this production, what they focus on is of a level I find quite tame. They did hint at more extreme practices, but gee, I think they're above the censorship rating of this production! Takes a good bit to shock me, honestly. One of the funniest bits, for me, was when the ladies in the front row dropped a water bottle, which rolled on stage, and then they had to decide whether to retrieve it! (They did, before the actors got free.) But hey, it's enjoyable - runs till the 24th, if you're interested.

This was the preview night, it seems, and they had a Q+A afterwards - but as another audience member remarked to her companion, she just didn't have anything she wanted to ask! Neither did I, so I left - on the Piccadilly Line this time, which I thought might be faster. And just to carry on the comedic turn to the night, a young lady with a brolly was blocked getting off - because she had the brolly turned horizontal, preventing her from getting through the door! Caused massive amusement to the folks getting on..

Tomorrow, I'm back to storytelling! Oh joy.. the Crick Crack Club is back, with Strange Girls, Beautiful Monsters, as told by Sarah Liisa Wilkinson, at Rich Mix. Good to see them on the road again!

And on Thursday, back with Watch Improv & Chat Comedy for Avocado Presents: An Improvised Play, in Baron's Court Theatre. Easily known the main group is back from their holidays - you now have to pay for this! and the discount code advertised on the event page has expired, grr..