Well, it being Hallowe'en, naturally I wanted to do something appropriate to the day. Checking the Meetup page, I saw that Ken's Events had a ghost walk - sounded ok, so I said I'd go. I haven't been to many of their events - one before this, in fact; they just didn't appeal, particularly because of the large numbers that sign up.
The first was booked out, so I booked a place on the second - afterwards, they increased the capacity anyway. But the later would have been my preference, in any case. And with a decently late start of 8.30, I had plenty of time to relax, eat at home, and get ready. Which means, of course, that I ended up rushing..
I have to hand it to the people of London - they did Hallowe'en proud. Strange sounds could be heard all day.. and the Tube was a riot of costumes - princes and princesses, Ghostbusters, medics, and a particularly scary guy who'd simply put a white stocking over his head, obscuring his features. Basic, but extremely effective..
I decided to go via Blackfriars, walking straight up the road to the meeting point at Farringdon Station. Well, trotting - I was going to be tight for time. They were meeting beforehand in the Sir John Oldcastle pub, across the road, but I didn't have time for that, and went straight to the station. Where the costume count was even better! More medics, lots of girls in cats-ears headbands. A wonderfully decked-out group, faces painted in the manner of the Day of the Dead. One dead cool guy leaned against a wall, smoking - face painted like a skull, black suit, round black glasses. Streams of people passed, with terrific face paint. One guy just had a skeleton tracksuit, but still, he made the effort..
I had plenty of time to observe all this - Ken's Events, despite its size and apparent popularity, must be the single worst organised group I know! Those of us that were waiting eventually gravitated together, and were duly joined by one of the two guides we were to have for the evening - a short lady in witch's costume, with a mic because her voice didn't really carry. No sign of Ken. No sign of the other guide, who - she mused - must still have been on the first tour - they'd had to split up because of the numbers, taking a group each. No sign of the promised Ken's Events sign outside the station, either! (And one of the others remarked that there'd been no sign of the group in the pub. Another remarked that she didn't know why she showed up on time - this always happens. No wonder Ken's Events usually goes on walks - anything else, they'd have to arrive for a fixed time!)
We were stood there for nearly half an hour before they appeared - a straggly bunch, not nearly as many as had said they'd come. Anyway, here was our other guide - a tall man in a cape coat and top hat, very dapper. And here was Ken, brandishing a decrepit sign at the end of a stick. I do wonder whether this hasn't got too big for him to manage properly - after sending some assistant organiser over to the pub with the remaining walkers from the first tour, he set to taking our money, but patently had no idea who was supposed to be there! No pre-printed list for him - we gave him our names, which he scrawled on the back of a sheet of paper. These were properly accredited guides, so we had to pay - £6, or £4 with a Ken's Events card. I had mine - several had forgotten theirs.
Our group wasn't anything as big as the number that had booked, either. We'd been encouraged to come in fancy dress, but of course people had ignored that - the one concession to Hallowe'en among our number was the girl with the pumpkin zogabongs. One guy kept bending over, hands on his legs - probably just stretching, but it was quite unnerving..
Well now, I've been around this area quite a bit, and I didn't really expect this walk to cover new ground. It didn't - we spent an hour and bit basically walking in a circle around Smithfield. I did hope for some decent stories. Brother, was I to be disappointed! You know, this was my fourth Hallowe'en in London, and I have to say, this one was the worst. For all that these guides were accredited, they were worse than many a guide I've had on a free tour. Well, I guess those giving free tours have to be good, to get the tips..
Some of the stories I'd heard before. Fair enough, but did our witchy storyteller have to tell them with eye-rolling, and exaggerated expressions, as though she expected them to be new to everyone? and scary? Well, they were working with very little material. They alternated storytelling stops, with her starting with a potted history of Hallowe'en - Samhain, as she correctly told us, while pronouncing it incorrectly. She completely neglected to tell us that it was a major pagan festival, marking the end of the old year - funny, I'd have thought that was an interesting point.
She then rolled her eyes at us again and told us we were off to a "cathedral of slaughter". No, really? Yes, Smithfield Market..Uhh. They found it necessary to stop us across the road from it, and dwell on the gore that necessarily attends a slaughterhouse. The one and only paranormal occurrence here was, apparently, a young lawyer who died after eating contaminated meat, and whose ghost subsequently stalked the market, knocking meat off the shelves.
This was pretty much as scary as any of the stories got. And they were obviously out of their depth with the subject matter, cobbled together and delivered hesitantly, when it wasn't exaggerated. One story was left unfinished - not that anyone seemed to care, by that point. If that had been me, I'd have practiced beforehand - y'know?! Tried to make it sound a bit good?
Woeful. Denise and Simon were their names. Now, they might be good in other circumstances - but if you see them advertising a ghost tour, or similar? Avoid! Anyway, Ken finally led us back to the pub - half an hour later than we were supposed to be there. Where, disgusted with myself at the waste of time this evening was, I turned straight down the road, back to the station and home. In the company of Dracula.
Now, before I blogged, I wanted to finish my film list, because I fancied a film today. Well, of course, that took typically long, and I eventually postponed it and went to bed. Finally finished today.. and gee, The Martian came out top again! And wouldn't you know, it's showing in my local cinema at 7.50 tonight - which is a time I could easily have made during the week. Looking ahead, they have the same unsociable times on weekdays.. unbelievable! Well, I'll see it at last tonight. Cheap ticket at Yplan, as usual for the Vue. And oh joy, they're emailing the tickets now! No more fiddling with the website because I can't download the app..
The next two days, I'm back at the final U2 concerts in London this year. You know, it occurred to me on the walk home last night - I miss them already! Even though it's only been two days since the last concert.. I've practically memorised Bono's rap from Bullet the Blue Sky, now.
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