Musical: Unfortunate - The Untold Story of Ursula the Sea Witch

Tonight - well, I finally saw Up In The Cheap Seats (UITCS)' ad for Unfortunate: The Untold Story of Ursula the Sea Witch, at the Underbelly Festival! A parody musical, right up my street - I hate how Meetup so often doesn't show me the events I really would enjoy! Just as well I saw this in time, before I booked anything else. So it was a hectic evening, with an interview scheduled for 5.30! Just as well I've finished work already.

The interview didn't overrun - it was just less than an hour - and I'd already looked up the fastest route. So off I galloped! Piccadilly Line straight from King's Cross to Earl's Court. And wow, was I glad I knew the geography of Earl's Court - I had forgotten the road names, but knew that the lifts were on the side opposite to where I needed to be! I'd have wasted several minutes if I'd got that wrong..

Wow, it was nostalgic walking these streets again - this is where I lived for my first few years in London, and walked to work every day along this route. Happy days indeed. Anyway, I quite quickly made my way to the venue - and knew when I'd got there:

Bag check at the entrance - and there the group were, sat at a table in what is a lovely, big venue: seating all around, food stalls and a bar at the edges (and toilets). We decided it was time to join the enormous queue to go in - and lo, it moved slowly enough that I had time to get a much-needed drink. Anyway, I had no trouble finding my ticket, considering the festival emailed me THREE times with the barcode! Seating is basically unreserved, although some is posher than the rest - which we didn't have. The usher eventually sat us together, at the side.

Well now, there's a sign outside saying that this is NOT a Disney production, and NOT for kids. Eh, indeed. As we went in, we were warned about strobe lighting, swearing, and partial nudity (there really isn't that much of the last, unless you count the topless mermen). What you do get is raunchy, cheeky, very very naughty..

But also full of beautifully performed numbers, clever lyrics - some stunning singing on the part of Triton. Now, never mind the kids - I wouldn't recommend this to anyone who is a fan of the Disney version! As a non-fan, I had an absolute blast - it's extremely silly, exactly what I needed right then. So, for once, this take on Disney is one for the folks who run a mile from Disney. Anyway, the perfect end to my day! Runs till the 16th - check it out. Tube home again for me afterwards - it's just too far for the bus.

Well, that was my last sociable thing for the week. Tomorrow, back with CT for a concert by the Royal College of Music Brass Ensemble, at the college on Shelton Street.

On Thursday, back with Guided Walking Tours in Brighton and Sussex, for The London Necropolis Virtual Tour. I pointed out to him that the registration link had the wrong date, and he said it was outdated, and he'd replace it and send me the new link - well, he's removed it, but no new link yet. 

And then - you guessed it, I'm back to Ireland for the weekend again! I'll finally get to see Elvis - in the Omniplex this time, as it's no longer showing in the early afternoon in Ennis. Directed by Baz Luhrmann, and apparently as flamboyant as you'd expect from him, according to a glowing recommendation by someone I know who's just seen it! This is the story of Elvis (of course, there could only be one), played - apparently most realistically - by Austin Butler, with Tom Hanks as his manager, Col. Tom Parker, and Olivia DeJonge as his wife, Priscilla.

On Monday, I'm going to Favour, at the Bush Theatre - after much effort, as their website wasn't working for days! In fact, it seems to go down sporadically. I chose an unreserved seat, will be allocated one on the day. Anyway, I see TAC has now started selling tickets for this - gee, might be not only the cheapest, but the easiest way to book! Now only available on the 13th, with a waitlist for this Wednesday, however. Wow, was only there once before, 3.5 years ago..

Next Tuesday, I'm going to The Southbury Child, at the Bridge Theatre. I noticed that UITCS is going, later in the week - ah well.

On the 13th, back with Civilised London for dinner - this time at The Crown itself, where we usually meet for drinks before heading somewhere else for dinner. Excellent choice. Which marks the beginning of a whole spate of Meetups in a row! When's the last time that happened..?

On the 14th, back with The Garden Talks - this online talk is How Do Languages Evolve?

On the 15th, back with the London Classical Music and Theatre Group for the opera Otello, at the Royal Opera House.

On the 16th, which is a Saturday, I had booked with Discover London for a trip to see a cart making ceremony - and then Eleanor, organiser of TunedIn London, advertised a concert through the World Music Meetup, for that evening, at City Hope Church. So now I'm going to both.

On Sunday the 17th, back with Bucket List London - this time, it's a trip to Sandown Antiques Market. Well, I've never been to Sandown, so this could be interesting.

On the 18th, back with North London Friends! for the first time since before lockdown. This is for an Edinburgh Comedy Festival preview, at the King's Head in Crouch End, featuring Lucy Porter and Rachel Fairburn.

On the 19th.. I'm taking a punt that I won't actually be employed that day, and have signed up again - at last - for a walk with Laurence and the 45+ Not Grumpy Old Londoners. This is The Magic of Midtown - and as I said to him, it finishes very near my new home! I also promised to let him know if I can't actually make it - although, even if I have started work by then (which would be surprising), perhaps I could take a day off.

On the 20th, I finish my Meetup run with a trip with UITCS to Leicester Square Theatre to see Frankie Boyle, who has a work in progress show.

On the 21st, I'm thinking of heading - at last - to Summer by the River at More London. This is for a free evening of music, curated by Soho Radio. Then I'm back to Ireland for the weekend.

On the 25th, I'm headed to see The Throne, a comedy about to open at Charing Cross Theatre, in which the Queen gets locked in a portaloo with a staunch republican. Time Out has an offer of £10 tickets for the cheapest seats for this - a saving of more than 50%!

On the 26th - tan-ta-ra! I finally managed to get a decently priced ticket to Jerusalem, at the Apollo. I have heard so much about this, and it's always at the top of the Time Out listings - nearly as hard as Hamilton to get a reasonably priced ticket for, so I'm delighted to get one, if only not to have to look any more.

On the 27th, back to Summer by the River again.. for Bumper Blyton: Improvised Adventures for Grown-Ups! Improvised comedy in the style of Enid Blyton books.. sounds jolly good!

On the 28th - another UITCS event that Meetup finally decided to flag to me. So I've booked to go with them to see Briefs Factory's show, Bite Club! at Queen Elizabeth Hall. Drag, burlesque.. should be fun!

And on the 29th, thinking about the National Theatre's River Stage 2022. This will be the first night of the Hackney Empire's Young Producers Weekend, and there'll be some dance and some music.

Circus: Circa's Peepshow

Today, well, my £3.60 club finally got tickets to Circa's Peepshow, the new cabaret circus act at Udderbelly! Awesome, another one I had my eye on - had seen cheap tickets for this already. This was much better than the other things advertised for today - and with a regular price of £21.50 (or £26.50, at this short notice), a bargain, it has to be said. And it was in the evening, so I got a lie-in..

Spent most of the day in my room - which is reasonably cool, as I'm keeping the blinds permanently closed. Makes sense, if the alternative is for the sun to superheat the place.. not to mention that I can't easily get to the window for boxes! I also greatly impressed myself by digging out of boxes all the clothes I wanted for today.. see, it can be done. During the day, I got an advertising email for this show - seems you can get £15 tickets (much cheaper than normal) by quoting the code ROCKSTAR15, valid for all shows from Tuesday to the end of the month. By the time I ventured out.. it was still like an oven. This time, I was glad of the bus - sweltering as it was. Walking would have been torture.

By the time we got south of the river, I was dizzy with the heat - having a backwards-facing seat didn't help. But I survived, and made it to the box office at about a quarter to seven (show at 7). Joined the queue - it's in the Spiegeltent, with unreserved seating, and it pays to grab a seat as soon as you can. As I waited, my ticket was torn - and they were handing out free programmes! (marked price £10). Gee, I suspect they're having trouble getting people to spend money on this..

Barely five minutes before doors opened - at about 10 minutes before showtime. Some folks had got in early - I think they had VIP tickets. Inside - with glorious aircon - with no-one to tell us where to sit, I got myself a second-row seat to the side. It wasn't full, anyway. Sadly, no photography during the show.

Seven performers - you can find out all about them in the programme, which I wouldn't bother buying, it's the usual fare of glossy photos and ads. Now, I read a review of this that was quite dismissive, saying that the performers dropped things, fell over.. I do have to admit, the juggler could use some practice. However, that's just a tiny element of the show - and the rest is beautifully done, and occasionally spectacular! Truly artistic quirks on hula-hoop spinning and acrobatics, and some poses that will stay with me forever, accompanied by a well-thought out soundtrack.

An excellent show, thoughtfully staged - great to be so close, too. Highly recommended - even if I don't think their take on "peepshow" really came across. Still, there is some mild stripping. Nothing you can't really take the family to. Now running to the 18th of next month - do get a discount if you can, but of course, they really do work for their money, and to be fair, given what they present, the official price isn't excessive.

Mercifully, it was cool by the time I finally got off the bus home! At last.. Tomorrow, I'm with Anthony's Cultural Events & Walking Activities group, to see The Tempest at the free Outdoor Theatre in Westferry Circus. Seating on the grass, in the middle of a roundabout, it seems. Apparently they provide mats. Well, that should be interesting! Just as well my evening meeting has been cancelled - this is an early start. Set in outer space, this one, it seems.

Speaking of which, on Tuesday I'm with London Science Events for a talk on Moon, Mars and Beyond at The Royal Institution. Tickets from Eventbrite. And there'll be an astronaut there, and - something I haven't heard of before - if you want his autograph, it'll cost you £20! (discount prices for members of the Institution). I think I can live without.

On Wednesday, back with London Literary Walks (but of course!) for The Belgravia Walk.

And on Thursday, I RSVPed with North London Friends, for the first time in ages, for End of Term Moors Bar Blues Jam and Drinks. And then, wouldn't you know it, Ryanair announced another pilots' strike - for the next day, when I was to go back to Ireland for the weekend! Nothing about it on their website, of course - and you know, if it affects me, I'll just find out at the last possible minute. Like all of those delayed flights that they only email you about - with the option to cancel or reschedule - when they're already in the air! (when it's actually legally too late to cancel, even if you don't go). I know from personal experience how hard it is to get last-minute flights - and how expensive. So, for safety's sake, I'm now flying on Thursday.. damnit, I'll never get to that Blues bar! And this group will think I'm avoiding them..

Circus: La Soirée

Roll up, roll up.. another January, another La Soirée! Nice not to have anything on Meetup, for once - gives me a chance to return to the old favourites. I see I last saw this last January.. but for the first time, the Udderbelly Festival - which is hosting it - has now decamped to Leicester Square! I also discovered that the official tickets for tonight were completely sold out - however, I could get tickets from no fewer than five different sources: ShowFilmFirst, OnlineTheatreTickets, TheatrePeople, LondonBoxOffice, and BestOfTheatre. All for a markup of over £10, at least on the cheapest tickets - whatever, I love the show, and this is near the end of the run. I was delighted to get a ticket at all. Booked with the first on the list - ShowFilmFirst; they were all the same price, anyway.

Got the bus there. One of the fun things about bus travel is the variety - the fastest journey can change from one minute to the next, and can change completely depending on where you are when you ask. Or when - I knew I wouldn't make it to the bus stop they suggested, in time for the bus that they said would arrive there at a certain time. So I went with the next option on the list - and Google Maps' bus arrival time estimate is quite accurate, I must say! Sadly, it involved a change, and I had a cold, shivery wait for a few minutes on King's Road - during which I had time to admire the lunacy of the shop window behind me. £200 for a jumper, reduced from £300?! As the saying goes, are they crazy or am I? More money than sense, I say.

The next bus was the #22, which is one of the great - cheap - tourist routes, running through Chelsea, Sloane Square and Knightsbridge, before dropping you at Piccadilly Circus. And with the Christmas lights still up, it was a beautiful drive - honestly though, by the end, I was nodding off. See, I was up late blogging, and when I woke today and it was after 9, I decided I'd better get up, to get to the bank to lodge some cash in my account. Just in case the estate agents got organised for me to pay, so there's be no delay. Well, all that went swimmingly - unfortunately, it did mean I only got about four hours' sleep..

I'm not best familiar with the walk from there to Leicester Square, so had the phone out all the way, displaying the Maps app. Which was unfortunate, because it meant one of my hands had to be gloveless - and this was not the weather for it! Well, I found my way, and after a brief nosey around the Christmas market - pretty, but I'm Christmassed out these days - approached the Spiegeltent, the obvious venue for the show. I hadn't seen a box office outside, and had forgotten that they do it inside for this show.

I hadn't been made to print the email confirmation, except for my own reference, but sometimes it makes it easier for box office staff, who can process you faster. She was glad to take mine this evening, and crossed me off the list - upon seeing that I had a booth seat though, and there was only one of me, she said, ach, let's put you up front. (Whee!) And so I got one of the red wristbands:

On entering the performance area, an usher checked how many of me there were, and asked did I want to sit in the front? Now, I've seen this show before.. "Eh, not right in the front!" So she sat me in the second row. Result! I checked after a bit, and what I paid for a cheaper seat in the booths at the back was the standard price for a ringside seat - there only seem to be two price levels, this time. So I did get my money's worth!

Never disappoints, this show. The Irish singer from the last time I saw it has been replaced by a stunning American lady, with a terrific voice and an array of dazzling costumes. Old favourites return - the English Gents, in particular, minus the bubble-blowing this time: but it was cool to be close enough to see the strain on their faces as they performed their feats of strength. And as usual, the greatest cheers were reserved for when they stripped off their shirts. The inimitable contortionist, Captain Frodo - although I doubt his falling off the stage while wrapped around tennis racquets was intentional, it was hilarious.

Acts I hadn't seen before included an inimitable pair of clowns, apparently known as Daredevil Chicken, and a juggler who insisted on flinging her balls into the audience. You're not really safe anywhere ringside for this show - the girl beside me got her drink spilled all over her during this act. Not because the ball splashed into it - no, it landed square in her lap, she got a fright and jumped. Pity the usher, trawling the hall during the interval, searcing for the discarded balls. Also expect - in other acts - flying food and full nudity. A circus not for kids, as they say in the ads.

Speaking of nudity, it was only when she stripped off that I thought Ursula Martinez looked familiar - oh yeah, the comedian from Soho Theatre who stripped naked and ran down the street outside! Yes, La Soirée sees her demonstrate the Hanky Panky act, where this red hanky keeps disappearing into different parts of her wardrobe, which are then discarded. Apparently, she's a founder member of La Soirée.. and this is the swansong for Hanky Panky.

Ah, a terrific show, as ever. Runs until Sunday, and I really can't stress enough how good it is - definitely one of the best in town. Recommended!

Tomorrow, I got a cheap ticket (phew! that evens out a bit - especially considering the whopping deposit I just paid) - to Antigone, at Theatro Technis, in Camden. Would be lovely to have moved into the new place by then, but the b*****ds are insisting I can't, before Monday. Fat lot of good that is to me, with work starting that day! Now I have to try and find a removal man to work in the evening.

Saturday has turned out unusually busy. See, a while ago, I saw that the guide on the excellent Christmas lights walk I did was doing a walk of Victorian Covent Garden that day, and I booked. Then the London European Club advertised an "Arab Christmas" - a concert of early Arab Christian chants! Ah well now.. unfortunately, it's on the same day as my walk. Fortunately, the walk is at lunchtime and the concert in the evening! I booked for that as well. That's in Rich Mix.

On Sunday, I'm on another walk - again, with Walks, Talks and Treasure Hunts - same guide, different group from the Christmas Lights walk. This walk is charmingly entitled Heretics and Horrors - Exploring London's Bloody Past. And although I've heard much about them already, I don't doubt that this guide will shed new light on 'em..

On Monday, I'm with Kensington Classical Music, at Pushkin House, for a piano recital. Unless I spend the evening moving - ironic, considering how close it is to my new place!

On Tuesday, London European Club has a very interesting evening planned - "Beat the January Blues and Discover the Curse of the Green Fairy". Basically, a lecture about absinthe, with tasting afterwards. Tragically, all tickets were sold out by the time I heard about it.. What the hey, I probably wouldn't like the taste anyway. With the free comedy in Hammersmith cancelled again, I'm with TNT Comedy again that night. Provisionally. But they were friendly folk, it's a lovely venue, and I wouldn't mind at all. Still, I may sacrifice the evening to a move.

On Wednesday, the Man with the Hat is taking London for Less Than a Tenner to Top Secret - inaugural visit of the year. And walkable from my new office! I'm liking it..

Thursday, again nothing on Meetup - instead, I'm going to the opening night of Amaluna, Cirque du Soleil's latest show, at the Albert Hall! Cheapest tickets from the venue website, as long as you don't mind a slightly restricted view - for my money, a handrail in my sightline shouldn't prove too much of an obstacle. Then it's back to Ireland for the weekend.

Monday 16th, I've booked for Festival of the Spoken Nerd, at Soho Theatre. Yes, it's a comedy.

Tuesday 17th, I had signed up for free comedy in Hammersmith (!) with Free Comedy Nights in Hammersmith Wimbledon and Farringdon, and London Live Comedy. But.. then I saw that Funzing UK had advertised Rising Stars: East England Burlesque Festival 2017. So I booked that instead - hey, I can get straight there on the Central Line! And I love burlesque. After booking, I got an email from them to point out that there are two events there that night, and that to avoid confusion, the name of mine has been changed to "Star Watch"..

Wednesday 18th, I've signed up with London Speaks Sessions, London for a Tenner or Less (as usual, NOT to be confused with the Man with the Hat), and LDN Talks @Night (or more particularly with Funzing) for a talk on The Science of Psychedelics.

Thursday 19th, free comedy in Hammersmith.. same two groups as above.

Friday 20th, I'm finally headed to The Comedy About a Bank Robbery, at the Criterion Theatre. Same team that did The Play That Goes Wrong - which is excellent - so I'm looking forward to this. Best value tickets from the venue.

Saturday 21st, I'm out with the Man with the Hat again - this time, it's Woolf Works, a Wayne McGregor triptych, inspired by the works of Virginia Woolf and showing at the Royal Opera House. Both his groups are going - as usual, I have a cheap seat.

Sunday 22nd, the ever-busy Man with the Hat is headed (with Let's Do London - for less!) to a dance production - at Sadler's Wells, unusually for him. The Red Shoes, choreographed by Matthew Bourne, is completely sold out for its whole run. Our Man with the Hat has tickets, though.. but he held them back (under his hat, as you might say), with sales starting at 11am on New Year's Day. They sold out in 15 minutes - I checked. That's the speed of U2's ticket sales.. of course, being a seasoned purchaser of U2 tickets, I managed to get one. All he needs now are a stetson and some glasses.. (speaking of which, good news from the U2 camp. Watch this space..) 

Circus: Beta Testing

Yes, the London for Less Meetup group did it again - taunted me with an interesting event, and dashed my hopes by having it be sold out by the time I got around to it. :-) Well, that didn't stop me buying my own ticket to Beta Testing by Circus Geeks, part of the Udderbelly Festival - I do love my circus! Mind you, I was a bit miffed to discover, after I'd bought my ticket, that I could've got it cheaper on lastminute.com. Never mind..

I made my leisurely way in, in good time - a good thing, given that I had to change at Earl's Court, where the direction board was positively schizophrenic. It was a lovely sunny evening, if breezy, and it didn't take too long to get to the upside-down, purple cow for which the Udderbelly is famous. I pretty much immediately saw my group when I went in (well, not officially my group last night), what with the organiser's trademark cream baseball cap. They were second row from the front in the centre section. Honestly, you wouldn't have had trouble finding anyone in there - it can't have been as much as 1/3 full.

So I went and sat in one of the several empty seats behind them (seating was unassigned), and said hi. I was introduced to the other people there, one of whom I recognised from Saturday's event. And when they saw where I was sitting, there was a mass uprising (literally) and they almost all decamped to my row - slightly elevated, it gave a better view over the front row.

In due course, the show started. Three jugglers, in short. Now, I recognise that people in this business have to keep their acts fresh and interesting - hence the twist to this show. As the group name implies, this started geeky. We literally had a 20-minute lecture on the science of juggling, with some practical examples. And honestly, I wasn't sure what to make of it, or whether it really worked. Certainly, the little girl two seats down from me wasn't impressed - she remarked to her father, sitting between us, "Daddy, this is boring!"

And then there was this extended routine that they "couldn't" get right. I thought it dragged on a bit too long - but the little girl perked up remarkably! And for sure, the show improved after that, with some impressive juggling, and in particular a spectacular visual display at the end, superimposing film taken of them on stage, on a transparent screen behind which we could see them in "real life". Slightly headwrecking, and very visually impressive. They've definitely found a new take on juggling - I'm just not sure the kiddies are the best audience. Anyway, runs until 21st - tickets available every day except next Monday and Friday, and they also have weekend matinees.

One of our group was definitely not impressed, and left as our organiser was finding us a space in Le Pain Quotidien, just on the other side of the bridge. The rest of us took the end of a long table, and treated ourselves to most excellent desserts and drinks - the strong recommendation from one of the group was for the cheesecake, but I've had their chocolate bombe before, so bucked the trend there. Someone had tarte tatin. And I can testify that the pinot grigio is excellent.. and the chocolate bombe as chocolatey as ever. I was in chocolate heaven - despite the cocoa powder coating getting all over my top. Only recommended on its own though - not with a meal, it'd be far too much.

The chat was excellent, we had what you might call a rare old time, and I was delighted I'd come. On my own tonight though - another of those Meetup groups I'm not a member of is off to hear the Philharmonia play Sibelius in the Royal Festival Hall. So I booked myself one of the cheap tickets in the rear stalls. Tomorrow, I'm off to Ireland, and on Monday I'm breaking new ground again - another new Meetup group, would you believe! The Post-Apocalyptic Book Club is meeting to discuss The Running Man, by Stephen King, writing as Richard Bachman. I don't have time to dig it out again in the meantime.. must try and revise as much as possible though!

Acrobatics: A Simple Space

Well, well, it looks as though there'll be no films for the time being. I could've gone to see The Irish Pub last night, but it was showing all the way out in Peckham, and it was sunny, and I didn't feel like trekking all the way out there. Took myself to the cemetery instead - where, I notice, they started to close up more than 10 minutes before closing time. Take note. And tonight, I would've loved to go to the Scoop.. I haven't been there yet this year, and it's definitely the weather for it! Events are staged there during the summer as part of the London Free Festival, and the Fringe was on tonight. But I had an eye test scheduled, and I figured (correctly, as it turned out) that I wouldn't make it in time.

So I had a Plan B. And my Plan B was to take myself back to the Udderbelly Festival, where there's a new acrobatics show - A Simple Space. There is a Time Out offer on this show if you book by midnight next Saturday, but they didn't have tickets for tonight. Rats! Apart from that, there was no trouble in getting a ticket - no need to book, although perhaps weekends are busier, and certainly no need to go to an expensive reseller! Check the official website first - there were plenty of unoccupied seats tonight, and apart from the Time Out offer, nobody is offering cheaper tickets.

So I took myself into town after my eye test. When I disembarked at Embankment, I saw the river exit was closed - I guess they're doing maintenance on the bridge at that point. No problem - just take the other exit, head left under the bridge, and left again, and take the stairs to the pedestrian bridge on the other side. Which is the side the Udderbelly Festival is on anyway. And I did have a different view from the usual one..

Also, having a breather between climbing out of the Tube and climbing onto the bridge made all the difference.. much easier!

From this side, you see the box office long before you come down from the bridge. I got a ticket, and made my way into the area in front of the purple tent, where the show is. The other headline circus show, Limbo, is playing in the Spiegeltent, well signposted to the left. And while I'm at it, let me give that show another plug.. I saw it last year, it's back by popular demand, and it is terrific! Anarchic, daring, unexpected, and great fun. I can't recommend it highly enough. Check out my blog post of 28th June last for more info. Running until 17th August.

Anyway! The last time I was at the Udderbelly, earlier this year, was something of a disaster. I had a hot dog, which I hated, and saw a show, which I loathed. Let me reassure you first off that tonight was much better. Couldn't really be otherwise, eh? I avoided the hot dogs and queued for a burger. It was a long queue, and I spent ages mulling over the menu, until I finally got close enough to see the burgers that were being brought out. Err.. I do not know when I have seen such insipid-looking burgers. The buns were tiny, and did a pathetic job of covering the fillings. I didn't actually know they did burger buns that small! Also, the place was packed and there was nowhere to sit, which meant that I'd have to eat standing up - which was a consideration, given that there was no bun to hold in the various bits. I just had chips. Which were very good, I'm glad to say. And I didn't need the little container of ketchup I asked her for.

It didn't take me long to eat that, and I mulled it over, and finally decided to have a glass of wine. There wasn't much else to do. There are three bars in situ - one exclusively for Pimm's, one that seemed to do beer and spirits, and a third that looked more my style. So I went up there and decided, from the drinks list over the bar, what I wanted. And then I waited. And waited. For the slowest bartender in history. Before he even acknowledged my existence, they were announcing that people should start to queue for A Simple Space, so I gave up and went to queue. And when they finally opened the doors, I discovered I was in the wrong queue. 'Twould have been handy to have someone tell us from the start there was a priority queue..!

Never mind, when I went in - given that I was on my own - I scored a seat in the very front row, albeit at a corner and with a lighting post right in my view - there's one at each corner. But they're slim and it's not too much of a distraction. Now, the title gives it away - there is nothing on stage at this point. Eventually, the acrobatic troupe comes on - seven young Australian acrobats and a musician, who plays at the side throughout. Collectively, they go by the moniker of Gravity & Other Myths. :-)

My, how acrobatics have changed since I was a kid! Gone are the spangly costumes, gone are the safety nets. In their place, we are treated to shows that are ever new and daring. All they care about is pushing themselves beyond the conventional and into the exceptional. Beware, for this show, though - if you're in the front row, you could find yourself a participant! There's a bit where they fix you with their beady eyes.. and next thing you know, you're encouraged to go on stage. And have someone hover above you, then walk on you.

No, not me - but the guy two seats away, for instance. Mind you, we all got to participate later on, when they all did handstands and we all had to throw balls at them, to see who could endure it the longest! All about competition, this show. There's a competition to see who can hold their breath the longest. There's a competition to see who can do the most backflips. There's a competition - a real crowd-pleaser, this - where three guys are skipping. They skip in unison, faster and faster, until one stumbles, trips on the rope, or whatever. And then he has to remove an item of clothing. And they start again, until it happens again. Each is wearing three items of clothing - a top, shorts, briefs. So, three strikes and you're out.. and they do continue until someone gets three strikes..! And THEN - he's made to do 10 skips in the nip. I won't tell you how they do it, but it is family-friendly. Honest!

They seem a jolly crew, and it's all very good-humoured. But my, they have a terrific level of technical skill. There's a lot of balancing on other people's body parts, there are a lot of human statues, with all different angles experimented with. And the bit where they swing the girls around.. ooh la la! We screamed, we laughed, we cheered! And we gave them a standing ovation. And what's more, they're hanging around outside afterwards, handing out flyers and pushing t-shirts. Good on 'em! Yes, guys, I'll HAPPILY spread the word. Go see, go see, go see. Pity they don't have a double deal with Limbo - they're both shows not to miss. This one runs until the 6th July.

Tomorrow? The Scoop beckons.. the show is a comedic history of Britain, sounds good. And if the weather holds, it'll be terrific! And it's free.. On Friday, Helen and I are heading to the zoo, which is doing "lates". We got half price tickets with yet another Time Out offer. Booking essential - these are popular. On Saturday, I may just swing by the Naked Bike Ride (all in the sake of protest against fossil fuels, natch!) At any rate, I have something to do that evening - ShowFilmFirst is playing a blinder these days, and I have a free ticket to Dreams of the Orient, a dance production, on in Fairfield Halls in Croydon again - the third time they've sent me there!

Juggling: Smashed (Thumbs down!)

Tonight, I went to see Smashed, the headline act of this year's Underbelly (or Udderbelly) Festival. I checked, and despite the Tube strike, the District Line into town was pretty much operating as normal, albeit a reduced service. So I wasn't worried about how to get there.

Well, what a crowded journey I had. If you have ever thought there were just too many people in the world, this trip might have confirmed your worries. Firstly, you see, there's a big soccer match this evening in Stamford Bridge, which is just down the road from me. Cue large crowds of people on the pavement, in particular outside all the local pubs, and also thronging West Brompton Station. Not that they were all going to the match, mind. A lot of them were heading into town, like me. So the platform was crowded, and the train was crowded.

When we got to Earl's Court, someone near me - with a seat - got off, and the fellow near it let me have it. Phew! Thank the Lord for chivalry. Because the scenes at Earl's Court were scary. There were, I believe, more people on the platform trying to board the train than were on the train already. And the train was pretty well full. I hid in my seat and let them all crowd around.

We didn't stop at Gloucester Road, and wouldn't have stopped at Sloane Square either, but there were people on the platform, although I think it was supposed to be closed. There was some relief at Victoria, of course, where a lot of people always get off because of the mainline rail and bus stations. There was some oxygen after that, and you could actually see the doors! And finally it was Embankment, my stop.

I had to cross the bridge this evening, surrounded by suits. A lot of people doing more walking than usual. Anyway, I hadn't really remembered exactly where the upside-down purple cow that is the Underbelly (or Udderbelly) tent is located, but it said on the ticket that it was between the bridge and the London Eye. So that's a right turn off the bridge. It's not hard to spot the box office this year - a large wooden construction. I soon had my ticket.

I was hungry - hadn't had time to eat beforehand. There is a fast food area outside the tent. I had a choice of burgers or hot dogs, basically - checked the burger menu and decided the hot dogs sounded more appealing. Unfortunately, both I and the guy in front of me arrived at just the time that both the chips and the bread buns weren't quite ready yet. I don't really know why she felt the need to toast the bread buns, but she did. Finally, probably seeing my anxious glances towards the tent, whose doors had opened now - it wasn't long till the performance - she asked whether I'd be ok with having them hot but white. YES!! I finally got my hot dog as the guy at the tent door was announcing five minutes to go to the show. Just as well I hated the sausage. I should have known better - can't stand British sausages. I dumped it and went in.

The guy who took my ticket advised me that I could sit anywhere except the "private" seats. Ok. Went in. Eh - where were the "private" seats?! There were no signs to indicate. I just took a seat in the side section, which was empty.

The stage had a number of apples, strategically positioned. The first part of the show consisted of apple juggling, in various permutations, with people juggling while dancing with each other, fighting with each other, teasing each other. Clever enough.

For the rest, I refer you to the review I just posted on Time Out. I felt obliged, since the reviewer thought so much of it..

The reviewer thinks there's a lot more going on here than "a lot of old balls". I disagree. I think there's a lot less. I acknowledge the Pina Bausch references, and the first part of the show is accomplished enough. But the second, "darker", part is just a descent into ugly slapstick. This isn't a juggling show any more, it's not entertaining. And if you're trying to make some kind of connection with a critique of fascism or the like, I'm sorry, it's too disjointed for that and I don't think it holds up. I left when they were all crowded around the black performer, about to pour tea on him. I'd had enough, having just spent the past ten minutes watching them deliberately smash things and shout insults at each other. Sorry, too out there for me!

This show is dreadful. Please, avoid like the plague!! As one performer shouted at the audience at one point, "What a load of pretentious nonsense!" Indeed. I should have left a lot sooner than I did. At least the Tube was less crowded on the way back.

(I would have posted a link to it, but the Underbelly site seems to be down. What the hey, at least you won't be tempted to book, eh? I see they're running Limbo again - that's probably a better bet.)

Tomorrow is looking like a film, specifically The 400 Blows, a French film from 1959, showing at the Prince Charles Cinema. Just as well the strike ends tonight (for the week) - that would be complicated otherwise!

Flown

Had my doubts that I'd make it to Flown this evening, which is part of the Udderbelly Festival. Google Maps suggested a Tube to Embankment and cross the bridge, which is something I avoided doing all winter because of the cold, but it's about warm enough to do that now, despite the chilly spell. Anyway, I didn't have time to do anything else today, and boy was I glad that was what I did, because the festival is right at the bottom of the bridge, on the south bank, on the right. Only just made it. They were just starting as I climbed the stairs, I could hear them. Didn't miss anything much, I don't think..

And boy am I glad I made it. The show is only an hour long, but it's stunning. Unlike Time Out, I didn't find the clowning irritating, and, in agreement with Time Out, the aerial acts are amazing. Set to rock music, it's aerial ballet. These are multi-talented performers - one of those shows where everyone does a bit of everything. A word of warning - you might feel a bit vulnerable sat in the front couple of rows in the centre, they have a habit of swinging over the audience. ;-) But my, what a show! Beautiful. Despite the odd raindrop, it being a wet evening and the show taking place in a tent. Shaped like an upside-down cow.

And so back to Ireland, the perpetual yo-yo, for Colm Wilkinson on Friday.. Farewell all, talk soon!