Thursday 20 February 2020

Play: The Haystack, Film: Parasite, Restaurant: Kalamaras, & Comedy: Devil May Care

I was back in Ireland for the weekend - where I had to deal with my mother's Eir contract. She just changed to a new package, I just got her first bill for it (we've gone paperless, so it gets emailed to me as she doesn't use her email account), and they'd overcharged her on the monthly package price. They messed up the email address when I was ordering over the phone, so I never got the confirmation email - hadn't seen the paper version she got, so couldn't ensure that what she got was what I agreed on in the first place. No point in asking her to check - she wouldn't know what to look for, and she'd only get hysterical.

Well gee, that all turned out to be fun. I had a trip to town first, to replace my driving licence - lost it ages ago, waited as long as possible so they'd just have to give me a new one. Because otherwise, they just give you one for the period of validity of your old licence - meaning you have to pay for an extra. It expires before I'll be back again, so this was my last chance - had to schlep up to the Garda station first, in driving rain, to get my form stamped - at least they'd sent me the form, which saved me the trouble of getting it myself. All worked out fine - I got my stamp, made the driving licence office before it closed, put in my application. If they stick to the rules about it only being valid for the original period of validity, they'll be issuing me with a one-week licence.. watch this space! Hey, interestingly, it'll be the new, credit card size! (And fancy, I just got a text to say it had been dispatched, and will take at least three days to arrive. So.. that'll be after the old licence's expiry date, when it does..)

Well, I got home, and thought I'd try Eir webchat first - they're also open on Sundays, but pretty useless, and if I had to call their helpline as a Plan B, they're closed on Sundays - so, Saturday it had to be! (The number doesn't work from the UK, so this would be my only chance.) 15 minutes I spent on webchat, arguing with someone who insisted that that was the package price, and that was that. When I insisted that that wasn't the price agreed, she went silent for a couple of minutes, then asked whether I was still there, as she hadn't heard from me. When I said, "What am I supposed to say?", she suggested I call the phone line, and ended the chat.

Plan B it was. I spent 15 minutes on hold.. listened to fully five repetitions of the ad for their sports channel, and finally, unexpectedly, got through to an apologetic human. Explained the situation. She checked the bill. She disappeared for a while to dig out the order - kept reassuring me she was still there. Finally got back to me, rather sheepishly - yep, they were overcharging me (well, my mother) by €25.01 on the monthly price! She said they'd credit the overcharge to my (her) account, and apply the discount from now on. Nice lady, actually - but what a palaver! As someone said, you really need to keep on to these people. On a side note - would you believe, I just got my mother's electricity bill, and that's also absurdly high.. have to go check the meter. Next time I'm back. Here we go again..

On Monday, I was back with Up in the Cheap Seats (UITCS) for The Haystack at Hampstead Theatre. Another group of them went a while ago, and I'd heard excellent reports.. I could actually have taken the bus, if I'd been out quickly enough, which I wasn't! Tube it was. Google Maps recommended the Central Line - ugh. But they gave an alternative - you could take the Metropolitan Line to Finchley Road, and walk for 10 minutes. So off I schlepped to get that - it wasn't that crowded, and I even got a seat after one stop. Getting off at Finchley Road, I could see that it also serves the Jubilee Line.. gee, and Hampstead Theatre is right beside Swiss Cottage, which is on that line.. and when I checked, that's one stop back from Finchley Road, on that line.. and that's quicker than walking.. and I wouldn't have to pay extra for it. So, guess what I did..



As I turned away from the box office, having collected my ticket, I was hailed by someone who recognised me, and used me as a guide to find everyone else. How handy am I?! A very crowded lobby made it difficult to find people anyway. And we had a nice chat before we went in - it was particularly nice to see some folk I hadn't seen in a while!

On entering, when I finally got the usher's attention, it turned out I'd come too far - I needed to back up and go up the flight of stairs that leads to the back few rows (L and back).



That's actually a better view than it looks - the heads weren't so obtrusive all the time. But I was glad to have the seat beside me free, to rest my arm on - the armrests are very short!

The stage is filled with screens - this is a very techie play. The various phone messages and browser windows that are relevant to the plot are displayed on the screens - very effectively. Although my one quibble lay in the very start of the play, when they read what we can see on the screens - a messaging conversation is taking place, one screen for each person, and they came across as quite self-conscious, I thought. But that was literally my last quibble for the entire play.

It's marvellous. For one thing, despite a very long running time, the pace is quick enough that none of us felt it was too long. Pay attention for best enjoyment - this is a fast-moving story, centred on two techies working for GCHQ. Those two chairs you can see in the middle of the stage are for them. To their surprise, they're put on counter-terrorism - someone has been leaking information about British arms deals to the Saudis, and they're to track down the leaks. Which they do, in no time. It gets more complicated when they realise the consequences of what is happening..

I can't give away much of the plot, for fear of spoilers, but it does deal with very believable, topical issues. The story is told on screens - which, as I say, are projected onto all the screens on stage, so we can see what they're supposed to be looking at. Various plot points mention topics referred to in news stories we can all remember, over the years - the whole thing feels very true-to-life. Indeed, one of our group, who works in tech, was very impressed with how realistic that side of it was. And if you didn't feel paranoid going in - about surveillance, about what the government is up to in secret, and the lengths they're prepared to go to - by 'eck, you will, coming out! No wonder ORG London is recommending it. Runs till the 7th - limited availability on some dates. Highly recommended!

Got buses home - in the freezing cold. But it ran too late to blog - it's been a helluva week, that way!

Predictably, I headed to the cinema on Tuesday- typically the reason for a delay in blogging, as I try to figure out what to go to, and then it remains unbooked. Top of the list - irresistibly - was Parasite, which is showing, conveniently, in the Barbican. I didn't book until that afternoon - by which stage, it was mostly sold out, so I booked upon seeing that. It's a short walk from the office - I arrived in time for trailers for two films that I keep seeing in the upper end of the film list: The Lighthouse and Portrait of a Lady on Fire. Hadn't seen the trailers before - they both look intriguing! Meantime, the house ended up nearly full, but not completely - it's a large screen. And the chatter was deafening - but the dull roar quietened down completely as soon as the main feature started. We were all on tenterhooks to see this - I haven't heard a bad word about it.

This is a classy film, make no mistake. The story - basically - runs thus; we meet a poor family who live in a "semi-basement", just under street level but with a view to the street above. Luxurious it ain't - they have a problem with men using the area just outside the window as a toilet, late at night. Father, mother, son and daughter of roughly late teenage years live here - they take freebies where they can get them, and early on in the film we see them distressed because whoever lives upstairs has just password-protected their WiFi!

Events take a different turn when a friend of the son (a college student) recommends his pal to take his place as an English tutor to the daughter of a rich family - the Parks. So he fakes college qualifications (with the help of his artistic sister), and he's in. And my, what a different world! Mr. Park is an architect, and designed the house himself: open plan and gorgeous. He and his wife also have a son and daughter, but the whole set-up couldn't be more different.. the wife is a bit clueless, the daughter batty about boys, and the son, who's just a little chap, tears about the place playing at being a red Indian, and drawing disturbing portraits of a man's face.

This initial section of the film is quietly hilarious, as one by one the poor family ingratiate themselves, by one trick or another, into the Parks' house. And they're allowed a brief moment of triumph - before an astonishing twist in the tale throws the whole thing into disarray. From then on, anything is possible as we gape in disbelief.. expect anything and everything from what is a masterpiece of suspense, with a heightened sense of the ridiculous. Just be prepared for an absolutely apocalyptic ending.

But the film works on more than just an entertainment level - it's a scathing commentary on the social divide of money. Just watch how the rich family - who seem terribly nice people, on the whole - express their distaste for people who live, quite literally, beneath them. As someone else who saw this remarked, there are so many visual references to what's going on that he's going to need repeat viewings to catch them all. Truly, I can see why it won the Best Picture Oscar - well deserved, in my opinion!

Seeing it was even worth the deluge I had to endure, walking home..



Now, I had to be to bed early. For, you know, my 1-1 with my manager, which never actually happens, and didn't on this occasion. But then, work got terribly busy all of a sudden - so no blogging yesterday, either! Last night and tonight, I was with Civilised London - and last night, it was a meal in Kalamaras Greek Taverna, just off Queensway.

All the way out there, it had to be Tube - and unfortunately, the Central Line is the most practical, running pretty much straight between the office and the destination. As usual, I managed to squeeze onto the third train - third time's the charm, as they say - and gee, for once I was within breathing distance of an air vent, so it wasn't as bad as normal! So we played sardines all the way there, and I had to stand for the whole journey. Predictably. Anyway, we were meeting in the Prince Alfred..



(In case you don't get the perspective, that's a shot of the ceiling.) Anyway, as we all gathered there and caught up, we had a nice chat before the short walk to the restaurant. Which might be down an alleyway, but does advertise itself decently!



It's taverna-style indeed, with wooden tables and chairs, benches along the walls - they shoved together a couple of table for our group. The place wasn't busy, and service was both quick and friendly.





..and I have to say, all the Greek artifacts reminded me of nothing so much as that exhibition on Troy that I visited, last month!

I fancied soup as a starter - the choice of main course was difficult (for everyone), as the menu is literally mouth-watering. I eventually plumped for the beef and onion stew. The soup, when it came, looked like a lot - but the portion was just right, and it was nice. But the stew was gorgeous! (and, funnily enough, tasted just like a good Irish stew). I was delighted with my choice - even though I was jealous of those who'd ordered the chicken, it looked so good! Well, everyone cleared their plates. We even had room for dessert - well, most of us. And do you know, I have to recommend their chocolate ice cream - it comes drizzled with very moreish chocolate sauce. As a bonus, we were each offered a shot of ouzo to end our meal - which I enjoyed.. although, funnily enough, I wasn't the only one complaining of a headache today, and I do wonder whether that wasn't the cause..!

Afterwards, some of us went to the Prince Edward in Bayswater for a nightcap.. but honestly, I was looking forward to my bed.


And the ouzo also sent me straight to sleep when I got home. So, no blogging last night either! but I do recommend the restaurant - just go easy on the ouzo. Tonight, we headed to Wilton's, for a comedy show by Marcus Brigstocke - Devil May Care. This was to be recorded for television, and the place was packed - we were under strict instructions to turn off our phones, and that readmittance was not permitted. We had a drink in the bar beforehand - you could have it in plastic, to take in with you, the containers subject to a £1 deposit, to be returned when the container was. When we did go in, note the new, plush, red curtains..!


And we had a very good time indeed. There was a 10-minute support act - he spent much of his time schooling us on how to behave (all enthusiastic and such) when the main show came on: but he didn't really need to, we were keen as punch to play along. And when Marcus came out - well, he didn't, it was actually the Prince of Darkness. Who entertained us devilishly for just over an hour. Kudos to him, stick-on horns and red face paint can't be easy to wear for that long, under stage lights! And for sure, it's a great conceit - come on as the Devil, and you can get away with saying anything about anyone. He's apparently been doing this show for a while, and I bet it provides a great outlet for him to rant. I'm a wee bit jealous! Plenty of jibes in this at sex, religion, politics.. leave your prejudices outside the door. Recommended, if you get a chance to see it.

Mercifully, the torrential rain today let up in time for me to walk home. Whee, I finally got up to date! The next two days are in the Opera House - tomorrow, I'm at the ballet Onegin.. happily, I bought my ticket before the cheap ones all sold out!

And on Saturday, I'm back there with UITCS - for a backstage tour! There's a group rate, but the group booked ages before I got interested. Still, when I suggested that I buy my own ticket and come along, they suggested I contact the box office to see whether I could be included on the group rate! So I did - and they said yes, and gave me a booking reference number, saying to ring with that number to pay by phone. So I did - and was speaking with a terribly nice chap, with a terribly posh voice, who was delighted to hear all this! And so I'm going, on the group rate. And we might hang around afterwards, and do something.

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