Play: Black Coffee

I normally go by what Time Out recommends, unless I'd really rather not.. I make an exception, if I can, when I get a freebie. And so it proved yesterday, when I got a ShowFilmFirst email offering free tickets to the opening night of Black Coffee, by Agatha Christie, tonight in Fairfield Halls. It's not so often that they manage free tickets to something that I want to see, and what's more, send the email in time for me to see it! So I was delighted to get the email, and to see that there were tickets left when I went to book.

I have been to Fairfield Halls before - also for a free play, courtesy of ShowFilmFirst. But it's been a while, so I had to check my routes. I discovered that there was a direct train to East Croydon, the local station, from my local station, at 6.24, which would get me to the theatre in time for 7.15, by which time all free tickets were to be picked up. Or I could change at Clapham Junction and get an express train, on which East Croydon was the next stop, and which would get me there much faster.

Anyway, I made it down to my local station in time for 6.24. Only to see that the train was delayed - first by four minutes, then five, six.. it finally pulled in, 11 minutes late. O dear. Things got worse when I discovered that, of all those people crammed onto the train, very few were getting off. Indeed, there was no room for me. I morosely stood back and watched the train pull off, wondering what I was to do now. I had picked up a paper, but was too worried to read it.

The noticeboard said there was a (delayed) train to Clapham Junction, due in a few minutes. Ok - if I managed to get on this one, and indeed there were now far fewer people waiting.. and if I managed a quick change in Clapham.. I still might make it. Oh, the trials of travelling at rush hour! Well, I squeezed onto it, and eventually, mercifully, we pulled off. Note to the pretty young lady squashed up against me: 1. The loud slurping that accompanied the chewing of your gum, right beside my ear, was absolutely disgusting. Jeez, I remember when people considered it impolite to make such loud noises with their mouths, when not actually speaking. 2. It is both impolite and unhygienic not to bother even looking for a handkerchief after you sneeze. And it's not like you didn't have one - you were eventually forced to root out a tissue after your nose, very noisily, filled up with all that stuff you couldn't be bothered blowing out of it earlier. Ugh, I come across this so much..!

Moving on. I moved at a snail's pace - or it felt like it - at Clapham, through crowds that flowed like treacle. The stairs are always an issue for me here, what with my stairs phobia - I need the rail, and people moving against the main flow will always head for the rail.. so if you're coming with the main flow, at the rail, you will find people coming against you. And when that happens, and I have to leave the rail, I absolutely freeze. This can be a problem. Happened this evening, but luckily I was nearly at a level bit and it wasn't too bad. I found out that trains to East Croydon leave from Platform 13 (handy sign, that one that tells you what platform to go to for where), and that the next one should have left already, but was - surprise! - delayed. Phew!

So, I made it to Platform 13, with a few minutes to spare. Then the platform display confused me - you had to be in the front of the train, and here I was towards where the rear would be. Nuts! So I started to weave my way to the other end of the platform, which was a lot busier. Then the announcer explained that the train would divide after a certain stop, which was why you needed to watch where you were. But my stop was the first, so not affected - I could have stayed where I was! Nuts! So I started to weave my way back to the less busy bit, in hopes of getting a seat when I got on. I made it about halfway before the train pulled in - and I settled for a slightly less crowded bit of platform. And even got a seat on the train!

It took about 10 minutes to get to East Croydon. Last time I was here, I got severely lost just trying to find the exit! Must have been renovation works, because this time it was gloriously easy. Follow the "Way Out" signs, up the ramp, and the exit is actually right in front of you. It doesn't even matter really which you take - they both end up in roughly the same place. I checked on the map outside just to be sure, but I knew my way - head right from the station, then left at the road junction. Fairfield Halls is the large, white building, on the left - the name is even displayed on the side wall. It's literally just around the corner from the station - I'd have made it even faster if I'd taken the shortcut across the courtyard, but I wasn't sure of my way, so I didn't.

I made it to the box office at 7.14.. one minute to spare! Got a ticket in the front stalls, and panted my relieved way over to the side, to organise myself. At least I knew my way around this time. The building quite reminds me of the Leisureland, in Galway, where we used to go a lot when I was a kid - similar style, probably the same era, and multifunction, like the Leisureland. Just behind the box office is a large, open-plan area, at the edge of which are counters for the cloakroom, brasserie, and snack bar. There always seems to be an art exhibition upstairs, and the theatre lobby is up the stairs to the left. Posters advertised a Murder Mystery Season, starting in July.

They'd made us collect our free tickets half an hour before the performance start, so I had time to grab a bite to eat - I hadn't had time after work. Free tables were in short supply, and anyway I didn't want to rush, and the theatre had just opened - so I opted for just a slice of chocolate fudge cake, which was very good, rather than a full meal, appetising as it looked. As it was, I had to eat it standing - I was lucky to find a place to leave my plate, when I'd finished.

In the theatre, I had a decent seat, slightly to the side. I do believe the place was completely full, probably substantially with people who had ShowFilmFirst tickets. And in due course, the show started. This was, apparently, her first play, and follows a classic style - set in the 1930s, in the drawing room of a grand English manor house, with a death and a whole coterie of suspects. This is one of the Hercule Poirot stories, where the case is solved by the famous, witty, Belgian detective. There are three acts, two intervals of ten minutes each. And, while, of course, I won't give away the murderer, I will say that the whole case is solved in the first few minutes of the first act. Or.. is it? Because, you see, there are a few minutes of darkness - deliberate, part of the plot - during which some strange sounds are heard. But I defy you to solve the mystery just on the evidence of your ears during that sequence!

It's a good story, and Poirot is given some witty turns of phrase. The sets and costumes are fantastic. However, the play overall isn't up to the standard of some of her other works, and neither are the plot twists. The actor playing Poirot is no David Suchet, but does his best with lines that are sometimes plodding - I felt myself nodding off during some of his lengthier speeches. And the young lady playing the Italian damsel in distress is a tad too overwrought - maybe with the effort of having to maintain a faux accent for so long! But it's enjoyable, for people who are into the classic murder mystery genre. Not so enjoyable, mind you, for the baby that we heard squalling over the other side of the theatre. Runs until Saturday.

I had a much easier journey home, of course, despite the play running 15 minutes late - wasn't on the platform for 10 seconds when my train pulled in: one that stopped at Clapham Junction, where I arrived just in good time for the next Overground train. Had I missed that one, it would have been a 45-minute wait for the last one of the night! And no problem getting a seat on either of them. Tomorrow, I should get around to seeing Edge of Tomorrow, finally - the one where Emily Blunt gets to shoot Tom Cruise in the head. As many times as she wants! Cool.. and I have a voucher. And I can walk there, which is a relief..!