Play: The Sex Party & Walk: The Mysterious Square Mile

Yesterday, I finally went to The Sex Party, at the Menier Chocolate Factory. My goodness, it's so long since I was last there, I couldn't remember my username, and had to ring them! (CT were advertising cheap tickets, but had sold out.) Interesting pause when I was talking to my mother on the phone, and told her I was off to a sex party at the chocolate factory.. ;-)

Unfortunately, their restaurant is closed "due to circumstances beyond [their] control", so - as I was to pass The Lucas Arms on the way - I thought I'd eat there. Mind you, I checked online beforehand, and they weren't taking bookings before 7pm - oh no, thought I, they're full! I also tried O' Neill's online, who weren't taking bookings before tomorrow. Huh, typical. So I figured I'd try near the theatre, and headed out. Now, as I mentioned, I was passing The Lucas Arms on the way - had a peek in, and it was mostly empty! So in I went, and got well fed there. Good to know. First time back this year - crikey though, you do need an appetite..

And so to the theatre, rather early - where the receptionist was far too helpful, checking for a physical ticket when I knew quite well mine was on my phone. Ah well, I got in eventually (complete with a complete set of directions from her - Lordy, it's been a while, but not that long!) and got a drink at the bar - and I was there so early, I also got a table! Wow. First time. I think I was there about half an hour early. Anyway, can't really recommend the sauvignon blanc here, it's quite insipid. Meantime, of course I ended up sharing my table. Which was fine.

When I'd finished my paper, I moseyed in. Bench seating, but handily, there was a free seat beside me, which afforded me some extra space.

So, the set was a well-appointed kitchen - in Islington, as it turned out. The island was festooned with alcohol and glasses, the garden just visible through the French windows to the left. There was beer in the fridge, we discovered, and the living room was just through a door to the right of stage. Oh, and one of the cupboard doors near the fridge hid the washing machine - which did come in handy at one point in the play. Although how that character automatically knew where to find it..! ;-)

And yes, our hosts were throwing a sex party! Not a swingers party, we quickly discovered - no, there wouldn't be any partner-swapping. (Well, until there was.) Now, this was not a play for the prudish - but I think the prudish know that already! So.. the language was what you might call spicy, and while the characters started the evening nicely dressed (to various levels of sexiness), clothes were gradually shed, and we got a nice selection of lingerie etc. By and large, the action took place offstage - we were fed titillating scraps of appropriate noises on occasion, and at one point, some very well-done, evocative shadows were projected through the door! Mind you, the funniest interaction with the living room was when someone told our host there'd been a spillage in there. "White or red?" he demanded. "Red," she admitted ruefully. "Where?" he exclaimed. "Oh, it's the Persian, isn't it?! Damn it, it would be the Persian.." rushing out with a cloth and a big bottle of salt..

It was hilarious! You name it, this covered it - we had every joke, certainly, that I could possibly think of related to the topic, and they were well done. The script sparkled. Oh, and there were plenty of practical tips for those who might not be experienced in this practice - for instance, a number of the guests brought a change of clothes. Well, you might not want to get your nice clothes messed up - alternatively, you might not feel like changing back into formal clothes after the evening's.. exertions! Oh, and the guy who needed the washing machine? He accidentally stepped in the pool, dirtied his trousers. And that's not the only reason he was a dead ringer for Boris Johnson! He had the messy hair, the gormless expression - spent most of the play wandering around without trousers on - kept apologising. Yep, all I could think of when I saw him was Boris..

We got a huge mix of characters, though. The hosts were a couple who met at a sex club; we also had a husband and wife, she'd known the man of the house for years, her husband didn't want her having sex with anyone else, so he was very definite about the "no-swapping" rule. There was a couple comprised of an American husband (who turned out to have some quite conservative views, for someone involved in this) and a Russian wife, sex-mad, straight talking, and hilarious! The wife of the trouser-less guy was unknown to the host - she turned out to be very woke, and highly opinionated! And when the final guest arrived - whom nobody but the host knew - well, the cat was well and truly among the pigeons!

Thing is, this sex party was a kind of vehicle for getting everything into the open. As the clothes were shed, so were people's pretences - and we got a huge level of honesty. Which wasn't always comfortable. Both private relationships and political views were aired in a jaw-dropping exchange - carried on in the kitchen while the party, apparently, continued next door. Any details we missed, we were filled in on later. By the end, we felt like we'd had as much of a workout as the characters - psychological, rather than physical. Fabulous. Sadly, tonight was the final performance - but do keep an eye out for it if it comes back! It's a cracker.

I booked so much stuff last night that there was no time to blog - keep reading for more.

Today, back with Laurence Summers and the 45+ Not Grumpy Old Londoners, yay! This time, it was The Mysterious Square Mile Walking Tour. Wisely, I set my alarm, which I don't normally need to do - I'd never have woken in time, otherwise, given the hour I went to sleep at. Woke with a grumble, got myself out. The bus I needed to get was due to come at 10-minute intervals, and according to my Buses Due app, every single one was delayed - I ended up getting the first, it seems, just past the time the second was due! Which was absolutely fine. Funnily enough, almost every second stop along the way was closed, due to roadworks - happily, not the one I wanted.

I got turned slightly the wrong way around looking for Le Pain Quotidien, where we were to meet - it's not obvious, and I was a bit clueless that I was walking right past it, until one of the group, sat just inside the window, saw me and waved! Well, in my defence, I was still half asleep. Anyway, I ordered a hot chocolate, sat down and chatted to him - and to others, when they arrived. Absolutely great to see the folks again, first time this year! And this was just the start of what was a very chatty day - definitely one of the best Meetup groups I'm part of. I might have skipped the hot chocolate, though - although the coffee was apparently good, the hot chocolate was the blandest I've had in years! Not even a liberal dose of sugar helped - I won't be having it here again.

The group was somewhat depleted by the persistent train strikes - Laurence usually waits for 15 minutes past the scheduled time, but today, he figured, by 10 past, we had all we were going to. And we were off, into the grey drizzle. Mind you, despite dire weather forecasts, we didn't get much rain at all! just a few spots, now and then. Of course, we started around the corner, with the Monument:

The frieze depicts both Charles II and his brother, the future James II / VII, who was apparently in charge of firefighting operations during the Great Fire, which the Monument commemorates. And the design on the very top represents flames. We also heard the theory that, before the railing was built around the walkway near the top, more people actually died from falling off this than died in the fire!

On to Leadenhall Market, where we discovered that the flag of the City of London represents the cross of St. George, with apparently the sword that beheaded St. Paul:

Outside again, and at the corner of Cornhill, it seems - if you look up - that there's a statue of Ceres, the goddess of cereal! (among other things). As someone remarked, we just don't look up enough..

We learned that St. Michael's is traditionally the stockbrokers' church:

and that on the adjacent St. Michael's Alley, London's first coffee house was established during the Puritan era, because they weren't keen on alcohol!

We came across a couple of interesting statues - including one that looks like possibly the most comfortable statue in town, as he gets to sit for eternity!

I hadn't realised that the ground floor of the Bank of England is some 300 years older than the upper floors - the missing windows on the ground floor are apparently due to the Gordon riots, when a number were broken!

Here's a use I hadn't previously noted for a bus:

And we finished at St. Paul's. I hadn't realised that Christopher Wren originally intended the columns to extend all the way from bottom to top, but they had no way of transporting columns that large!

And so to lunch, at The Old Bell. A lovely pub, again built by Christopher Wren, with plenty of snug seating areas, and the Christmas decorations still up - which was nice, on a day we saw many being taken down. I didn't realise at the time, but I had actually been here before.

We were alarmed to discover a sign on the bar to say the kitchen was closed, but of the two behind the bar, one bravely volunteered to do the cooking! We had a limited menu though - they only had pies and burgers. Fair enough - now, after having a pie yesterday, I didn't fancy another, so decided on a burger. I asked about the Nicholson's burger, but was told they didn't have it, so I had the cheeseburger instead. Which was fine, except I think mine was the last to come out! Too much mayo, which meant I had to eat half with a knife and fork, but otherwise fine. Ooh, and their NZ sauvignon blanc was Oyster Bay! One of my favourites, lovely. And a smashing afternoon's conversation was had - looking forward to my next meeting with this group!

Tomorrow, headed with Cultureseekers (CS) to the "Executions" exhibition at the Museum of London Docklands. Should be nicely atmospheric - and mercifully, starting a bit later than today's event. The organiser was recently in touch, encouraging me to take out full membership, as I'd been to so many events, and could get a discount. Yeah, but most of them were during lockdown, and were free! I don't think it'd be worth my while - I don't go to nearly as many events with this group now.

On Monday, Up in the Cheap Seats (UITCS) are headed to Mandela, a musical at the Young Vic. Unfortunately, I was way too late for a cheap ticket - but then I noticed that someone attending couldn't make it, and had advertised two tickets for anyone who wanted - much cheaper than what I could get elsewhere. Front row, too! One ticket had gone - I messaged her, and yay, I got the other! She sent them through when they arrived today, and I agreed with the other guy who should take which!

On Tuesday, thinking film again - the listings site was typically slow, but had some info for next week. But given my experience on Tuesday - when it hadn't even included listings for my local cinema - I checked what was on there on this coming Tuesday as well. And lo, I came up with some not yet listed at all at that stage on the listings site.. highest rated is a documentary - Crows are White tells the story of a rather unusual Buddhist monk, who'd rather listen to heavy metal than birdsong..

On Wednesday, heading to Comedy in your Eye, at the Camden Eye. Tickets from Design my Night, including a free drink.

On Thursday - my first Crick Crack Club (CCC) event of the year! Online, but never mind - it's Nick Hennessy, at the Story Museum, performing The Kalevala. I think I remember hearing that he's the only non-Finnish person ever to win their competition to recite this! So, really looking forward to it. Then, of course, I'm back to Ireland for the weekend..

On the 16th, back with UITCS for The Art of Illusion, at Hampstead Theatre. Award-winning, it seems..

On the 17th, I'm headed to Chicago Blues Explosion in the January Blues Festival at the 100 Club. Just a shame their early bird tickets were sold out.

On the 18th, with TAC for a classical concert at King's Place (nice and close). This is the Kirckman Society for young artists, presenting Connaught Brass.

On the 19th, Ken's Green Walks for Health (aka Ken's Events, to those of us who know it from before) is off to see the Winter Lights at Canary Wharf. Now, I wouldn't go with them in a fit - but there's nothing to stop me seeing the lights myself for free, eh? I don't see the point in paying Ken £5 to lead a group around..

On the 20th (a Friday, unusually), back with Watkin's Bookshop for a book launch. This is Fifty Forgotten Books by R. B. Russell. Occult theme, as usual. Let's see whether I can avoid falling asleep this time!

On the 21st, back at King's Place - this time it's the CCC, with Stories in the Dark. Told in darkness, by the sound of it - sounds divine!

On the 22nd, back with CS for the Hieroglyphs: Unlocking Ancient Egypt exhibition at the British Museum. Assuming it's not curtailed due to transport strikes - there is a warning on the museum website that galleries might have to close early!

On the 23rd, I've finally booked for Best of Enemies at the Noel Coward Theatre. This play concerns a series of debates on US television between liberal writer Gore Vidal and conservative William F. Buckley in 1968 - the interesting twist here, given the time and place we're talking about, is to cast William Buckley as black! Had my own seat review on Seatplan to guide me in picking a seat - this is one of those restricted view/legroom theatres. And despite all the theatre offers flooding my inbox, I found the cheapest tickets for this on the official website! Mind you, what with See Tickets doing the selling, I found myself with a second, unexplained, booking fee..

For the next week or so, it's all UITCS! On the 24th, for some reason, I hadn't seen their advertised event to see Orlando, based on the book by Virginia Woolf, and showing at the Garrick. For this, however, I found the cheapest tickets from Official London Theatre (OLT).

On the 25th, we're off to see John Bishop at the Leicester Square Theatre. Love him, so I booked as soon as I saw this advertised - one of the few things for this month that I booked last month! Not that it seems to be selling out..

On the 26th, we're off to The Vaults Festival - specifically, The Welsh Lxdies, a bilingual show about the women of Wales. Then back to Ireland for the weekend again.

On the 30th, we're heading to Noises Off, starring Felicity Kendal, at the Phoenix. Again, cheapest tickets from OLT.

On the 31st, with a group I haven't joined in a Very Long Time - I'm back with London Dramatic Art, from whom I've got a front-row ticket for Sylvia, at The Old Vic; this is the story of Sylvia Pankhurst, and stars the excellent Beverley Knight. Completely sold out - this was my only way to get a ticket!

On the 1st, back with the Horror Book Club - Lordy, that means I need to read a book! :-) I suppose I can use my flights for that. This time, it's The Ballad of Black Tom, based on the Lovecraft story, The Horror at Red Hook, but told from the perspective of a black man. Which means I should really read that, too.. Nice, I'd like to get back to some Lovecraft! In the Prince of Wales, Covent Garden again. Question is, will the kitchen be open..?

On the 2nd, I'm on my own for My Son's a Queer (but what can you do?), a musical at the Ambassadors Theatre.

On the 3rd, my first meeting of the year with London Classical Music and Theatre Group! We're off to Wigmore Hall, to listen to the Hagen Quartet play Mozart. They're Austrian, so that's appropriate.. I just need to remember not to drink the ultra-expensive sauvignon blanc!

On the 4th, well, Laurence is back to Greenwich again. Now, I have been there with him before.. not sure how "new" this one will be, but hey, it was a great day last time!

On the 5th, nothing on Meetup appeals massively at the moment - I might go for a walk along the Ken's Events route, if I feel like it! (on my own).

On the 6th, my first actual event with Over 40 Living the Life. We're off to How Not to Drown at the Theatre Royal, Stratford East - the first event of theirs for which I couldn't get a cheaper ticket! So I decided, if I couldn't beat them, I might as well join them. True story of an unaccompanied, 11-year-old asylum seeker.

On the 7th of next month, excited to be headed to see Derren Brown in Showman, at the Apollo Shaftesbury Avenue. Cheapest tickets with OLT again.

On the 8th of next month, off to The Lehman Trilogy, at the Gillian Lynne Theatre. Based on the true story of the bank that collapsed. Got the last £39.50 ticket!

On the 9th of next month, back with UITCS for Winner's Curse, at the Park Theatre - an interactive show about a peace negotiation. And then I'm back to Ireland again.

And on the 13th of next month, I'm headed to Allegiance, starring George Takei in a musical based on the true story of his internment in an American internment camp during the Second World War. Showing at the Charing Cross Theatre.

Musical: Barnum & Lumiere

Yesterday, I booked for the matinée of Barnum, in the Menier Chocolate Factory. And then, wouldn't you know it, Up in the Cheap Seats advertised a trip to the Lumiere Festival in the evening! It was the last day. So I said I'd tag along, after my show - as the organiser said, it could be a problem finding each other, but what the hey! I see London Social Detours was doing the same thing - and charging £3. So I stuck to Up in the Cheap Seats.

Wow, what a horrible day, weather-wise. When I looked out the window in the morning, it was snowing heavily! Not lodging, though - the ground was too wet. In due course, I wrapped myself up and headed out in it - there was no great rush, the show started later than the day before's matinée, and I didn't have a meal planned beforehand. By the time I left, it had turned to persistent rain. I was lucky the bus came straight away - I was already soaked! The smiling driver pulled right up to where I was standing - much appreciated.

Across the bridge then, and another soggy walk - I was glad to see the theatre approaching. Squelched in, through the restaurant to the theatre behind - I would've loved to pause to have something to eat, but there wasn't time. Instead, I made my way through to the theatre bar and box office. Now, funny thing here - I'd booked a Print at Home ticket originally, and the following month, got an email from them explaining that the seat I'd booked was restricted view for the previews, and allocating me a different seat in the same row, which I could pick up at the box office. And that's what I did, grateful to be in from the bitter cold, and defrosting. I got a glass of water - there was plenty about - and one of very decent wine at the bar, and grabbed about the last seat in the bar - seating isn't plentiful, here. I noted that the display cabinet across from the bench I was seated on was covered over, unusually - the rest of the bar is decorated with the sort of stuff that P. T. Barnum might have displayed: a pea from the last supper, that sort of thing.

Sipping the wine, I had it half drunk by the time the house opened, 20 minutes before start time. The place is decorated like a circus tent, so seating is in the round - I was intrigued to find that the seat I'd been given in the end - A32, the front row, is the next seat along from my original seat, A45! And that that is, indeed, right behind a pillar - my new seat's view was slightly restricted by the same pillar. I guess there's a more sensible seating arrangement after the previews..?

Well, entertainers move among the crowds as soon as they're seated, performing magic tricks and, later, juggling. And by the time start time arrives, the place is an absolute riot, people tumbling, shimmying up and down poles, juggling, and performing card tricks, so that you hardly know where to look! It sets the tone for almost the whole of the piece that is to follow, as we watch the story of the original showman!

What a show - what an opportunity to get up-close-and-personal with a production that's every bit as good as what you'll find in the West End! Beautifully sung, including the operatic numbers - Celinde Schoenmaker, who plays Jenny Lind, has a background in musical theatre. Beautifully choreographed - and nowhere in the West End will you get so close that you have to make sure to pull your legs in, lest the performers come a cropper as they dash on- and off-stage! Close enough to see them panting in the wings. This is a fantastic day out- for young and old alike! For me, however, the show was stolen by Mrs. Barnum, played by the excellent Laura Pitt-Pulford, who played a storm as Nell Gwynn at the Globe, last year. Ticket prices aren't cheap, but it's worth it. Running until the 3rd of March, evening performances Tue - Sat, matinées Saturday and Sunday. Booking recommended..

At the interval, I'd bought a bar of chocolate at the bar - gee, branded "Menier Chocolate Factory"! Nice to see them retaining some of that heritage. On my way out at the end, I took a moment to peruse the exhibits - and wouldn't you know it, that display case that was covered beforehand.. now contained.. eh, well, I'd hate to spoil the surprise! Go see for yourself. Anyway, I now had to race across town - and the show had finished late. Happily, the organiser had said we'd meet somewhere around Bond Street Tube, which I could get the Jubilee Line to, straight from London Bridge. Pissed rain on me all the way there, mind!

By the time I got to Bond Street, I was a bit later than anticipated - but they were still roughly where they'd expected to be, as I discovered when I got through to the organiser, on the second attempt. They were headed for Brown Hart Gardens (?). Gotta hand it to Lumiere, it took people down back alleys they'd never seen before! Well, Google Maps directed me there, and I had a bit of a wait before we all met up - but we did, in the end: a much depleted group from the number that had originally signed up, and who can blame them, with the weather? I had to laugh when I saw the map that the poor organiser had printed out - the soggy mess barely lasted him until we were finished with the Mayfair section!

I managed four here - of course, I missed the start! My favourite, I think, was Impulse - seesaws in the street, illuminated by the action of people playing on them!

More photos - and videos - here. After Mayfair, we moved on to the West End section - the largest. And yay, by this time, the rain had stopped! We meandered through the streets, trying to get everything on the list - weren't entirely successful, but as our guide said, hey, he didn't lose anyone! Plenty to love, here.. I think my favourite had to be the fish in a phonebox. :-) (Yes, they are actual, real fish..)

 

Before we did the last couple, we repaired to the pub for a drink and some crisps. And it was a long, long night - but a good one! When we finally parted, it was my intention to grab something to eat - but wouldn't you know it, everywhere was closed or closing, this being a Sunday. Happily, I discovered an open Co-Op on the way home, where I could at least buy something to stave off my hunger..

I could've blogged last night, except that I was anticipating a presale code, to entitle me to entry to a presale for tickets for U2's upcoming tour! The presale started this morning, so I went to bed early. This was something I was supposed to be entitled to, for pre-ordering the new album from an approved retailer, back in November. Sadly, it now turns out, even though I ordered via a link from U2's website, that this was "not an approved retailer", so I don't get a code. Someone really needs to take the management of that site round the back and have a word.. Good luck to me in the public scrum on Friday!

Tonight, I'm finally off to see Everybody's Talking About Jamie, at the Apollo - I rescheduled from the date I'd booked for last year. Sold on that original ticket, and bought another - using a £10 theatre token I earned from Seatplan, for leaving reviews with a photo! Not bad.. I hear great reviews of this, so looking forward to it.

Tomorrow, I'm going to Yous Two, at Hampstead Theatre - my first Meetup with North London Friends, finally! I think they might have been the only outlet for tickets, when I booked - I haven't tended to book with them, as they charge a fee. Last night's organiser is going to that too, it seems.

On Wednesday, I'm finally going to Rita, Sue, and Bob Too! at the Royal Court, with Up in the Cheap Seats. Interesting one, this - we'd booked before, but then the whole run was cancelled after the co-director thought that the subject matter, about the exploitation of teenage girls, was too controversial in the wake of the Weinstein controversy. The artistic director subsequently reversed the decision.

On Thursday, I'm going to The Birthday Party, in the Harold Pinter Theatre. Interesting review in a recent paper. Then I'm back to Ireland for the weekend.

Next Monday, back to the Orange Tree in Richmond for Out of Love, with Up in the Cheap Seats. Have to rush for that one - it's another evening I have a late meeting! Should make it, though.

On the 30th, finally back with Funzing! LDN Talks @ Night and London Speaks Sessions are talking about the Seven Wonders of the Solar System, at Cafe 1001. Yeuch - can't stand the place: hipster central. Still, at least I can walk there from work..

On the 31st, I had RSVPed with London Science Talks and Museums Meetup, for a Science Museum late. But hey, it's free - so I had no problem cancelling when Let's Do This advertised a meal the same evening. Turkish, I believe, with a drink at the George Inn beforehand. Closer to me, too.

I start February with two from Up in the Cheap Seats. On the 1st, I'm at John in the National. And on the 2nd, my now-nearby venue, finally - I'm at Sadler's Wells Sampled.

On the 3rd, I'm finally back with Anthony's Cultural Events and Walking Activities Group (fairly trips off the tongue, that!) for a free walk - Secret Diaries and Public Spaces: the Legacy of Pepys and Wren. As run by Walk London. I had a great time with this group before - it's a shame they so frequently clash with other things I'm doing.

On the 4th, another walk, with Funzing, via Walking in London - Forgotten Old London is one I've had my eye on for a while.

And on the 5th, back with Up in the Cheap Seats, at Hampstead Theatre, for Dry Powder.

Concert: What's It All About? Bacharach

Tonight was What's It All About? Bacharach, at the Menier Chocolate Factory. Wow, it's ages since I booked this! very unusual for me. Got the cheapest ticket at London Box Office - seating in this theatre is uniformly priced, so you don't have to worry about that.

I was so glad it didn't start until 8 - things in London usually start at 7.30, and having that extra half hour makes it so much more relaxed. So I strolled down the road to the theatre, for once! I'd noticed on the website, when I was double-checking the start time, that it had sold out - and sure enough, the bar was thronged. I went to the box office to collect my ticket, and after sifting through every pile she had, she found it.

Seating in this theatre is usually on upholstered benches. Well, they're still there for this production, facing the stage; to the sides though, the seating is in the form of sofas and armchairs. The floor and walls are decorated with rugs - tacked down, for safety. Even the benches are decorated with swathes of material, and my place happened to be one of those that came with a cushion! As I sat - and remarked what an excellent seat I had, facing and pretty central - I noticed the musical instruments attached to the walls around the stage. And the sofas hanging from the ceiling! which were duly occupied, not by audience members, but by members of the band.

As my row filled up, I got pushed to the side as a group of elderly people took their places - and when a group of younger people approached from the other side, I was in their seat. I explained what had happened, and looking past me, the guy next to me agreed to try and squeeze everyone in at the end. Younger people squeeze better, you see.

The show is a re-imagining of the music of Burt Bacharach. Is it any good..? BELIEVE THE HYPE! It's terrific!! While the songs are still recognisable (and hummable), new life is breathed into them in an 85-minute show (without interval) that focuses on rock, r n b, a little reggae.. the quality of the performances is top-notch, the staging is imaginative, and pretty unique for each song. The woman beside me really got into it - obviously Burt's greatest fan, she rocked out! Really, we were so disappointed when it ended.

Can't recommend this highly enough. Now for the bad news - the official website is sold out for the rest of the run (which finishes on Saturday), and London Box Office doesn't have any tickets either, at time of writing. But if you can find a ticket, you won't see a better show in London right now! Pray for an extension, or a West End transfer.

On the way home, of course, someone was singing a number from the show as we entered the station. As our train approached Earl's Court, the driver was good enough to inform us that there would be a train on the other platform as we pulled in, that that train would be headed the same way, and that it would be leaving first. And so it proved. Now, if only all drivers did the same!

Tomorrow, I'm off to The Look of Silence, which is finally showing at a time I can manage. The BFI is running it, and I've booked for the early showing that day, which was already mostly sold out. At time of writing, there are two tickets left. It's ages since I've been there!

For Thursday, I got a cheap ticket to a classical concert at Cadogan Hall - nice and close. Then I'm back to Ireland at the weekend..

Play: Communicating Doors

Meetup offered several interesting walking options for today, but it was promised rain, so I passed. Not that I've seen any rain so far, mind - but anyway, instead I had a look at what was going on in other Meetup groups - that I'm not a member of - and discovered one that was headed to a play called Communicating Doors, at the Menier Chocolate Factory. RSVPs were closed by this time, so I just booked a ticket myself; with limited availability, I chose a central seat rather than a near one. I know this theatre, and with only nine rows, a seat near the back was still going to be plenty close.

I stayed up really late last night.. for those who might be interested, I've found a fantastic channel on YouTube by a guy that makes short films. Look for Pony Smasher. He and his wife (both Swedish) have filmed some terrific short horror films - really inventive, and just a few minutes long each. They also have fascinating making-of videos. Anyhoo, with one thing and another, the birds were twittering by the time I got to bed, and I slept soundly (horror actually makes me sleep sounder, I think) until about lunchtime. Which still left me time to get across town, but not really to have a proper brunch. Breakfast consisted of my last Yorkie.

I did set off in decent time, mind you. At the station, I was greeted to the sound of (very tuneful) singing by Chelsea fans - there was a match today, and I'm just up the road from their home ground. Two policemen watched benignly from the upper level as a raucous group of fans on one platform united in song, apparently directed at someone on my platform. What the hey, it was all in good spirits, and no-one was bothered. Soon enough, my train came. And you'd think there was a go-slow, we waited so long at Earl's Court! Changing at Westminster, I was asked by a confused foreigner whether the train went to Bond Street.. unfortunately not. Right line, wrong platform - trains from any platform all go in the same direction, you know! I sent him the right way, but he was dubious..

At London Bridge, it's so easy once you know how - I really can't imagine how I always used to come out the wrong way. In this case, look for the exit for Borough Market.. and the East Side exit gets you on the right side of the road. This is literally the first time I haven't had to rush here - I usually feel as though I'm going to have a coronary, dashing down this road.. this time, I had time to look around:

(This is Borough Market.) Anyway, turn left from the station exit, cross at the next junction and take the road you're now on the left of, to the theatre, which is on your left. Careful of the steps - this is an old warehouse, and the steps are uneven. You enter by the café - she asked me what she could do for me, so I told her I had a ticket for the matinee and she directed me to the back. Where I had time, for once, to pause and look at the historical display.

I'm not used to picking tickets up here - I usually print at home (i.e. the office), but since I'd have had to print at home for real this time, I decided it was handier to pick it up instead. So the first thing I had to do was locate the box office! (It's to the left of the bar area.) Having collected my ticket, and with half an hour still to kill, I decided to have a liquid lunch. The obliging (and probably slightly bored) barman informed me that they had four white wines, and produced one for me to taste. "Yes please," quoth I. And so I came to have a glass of wine that was quite lemony (I wish I'd made note of the brand, think it was one of the Torres range but I'm not sure), and far too nice, while sitting on the bench at the entrance - the place was starting to fill up.

They should really have let us in earlier - there was quite a crush by the time they did. A lot of Americans, by the sound of it. And yes, nice wines can be dangerous. Especially on an empty stomach. I was quite giddy by the time I got through the generous portion he gave me, and decided to take my seat. In my efforts to find somewhere to perch my empty glass, somehow I misplaced my ticket. It was an anxious moment before I realised I must have dropped it, and lo! there it was at my feet. Dearie me. Actually, it wouldn't have mattered really - I remembered my seat number, and there wasn't a ticket check.

My seat was on the centre aisle, second row from the back. It's bench seating, and they seem to have reupholstered since I was here last - the benches are now multi-coloured. Mine was the last row to fill, and it was handy to be on the end - I could just swivel to let people past. I daresay it was sold out - I didn't see any free seats.

The set was decorated as a comfortable living room, with a bathroom off of it - it turned out to be a hotel suite. Now, I knew this was a comedy - I hadn't read closely enough to realise it involved time travel! So things were progressing reasonably enough, and then someone figured out that you could travel through time using the communicating door with the storeroom. Hmm - I didn't quite know what to make of that! But I decided to hang in there and see how it progressed - unlike a couple in my row, who left at the interval, and one woman who left as soon as time travel was mentioned.

It did progress decently cleverly, and I quite enjoyed it. I did like the way the script made use of the idea that changing something in the past changes something in the present, in unexpected ways. Recommended. Runs until 27 June - booking advised.

I might've eaten in the café on the way out, but it turns out they close early on Sundays! So I made my way home instead. There was more chanting somewhere on the platform when we stopped at South Kensington, and the local pubs had Chelsea fans spilling out all over when I got home. Still singing - they only just stopped a short while ago. Seems they won. Indeed, there was a great queue in the local shop, with at least some people stocking up on booze..

Tomorrow, it was a toss-up between Gypsy, with Imelda Staunton, or a film. Top of my film list was The Journey, directed by Lance Nielsen, and that sounded really good. Thing is, it's only showing in the Arthouse, Crouch End. I've never been there before, and when I looked it up, it turned out to be about an hour away. So I hummed and I hawed, and finally I said, sod it, I've travelled that far or more several times before. And I've often gone by both Tube and bus! So I decided to book it - I needed to, there aren't many seats left. Great thing is, if it weren't a Bank Holiday tomorrow, I couldn't manage it.. And on Tuesday, the Film Nite people are trying to persuade me to go see The Falling with them. Thing is, it's not supposed to be great. Well, we'll see!

Play: Fully Committed

It's a drag, getting to the Menier Chocolate Factory from where I am. But Fully Committed sounded good, and had the advantage of being just over an hour long - so I could get home at a decent time, considering I'm in Guildford today. So I booked, given that availability seems limited.

At least it doesn't start until 8. Not a single train passing through West Brompton when I arrived there was scheduled to go to town, so change at Earl's Court it was. Anyway, a train to town arrived at the adjacent platform shortly after we disembarked. Google Maps' journey time estimate was nonsense, as usual - although that probably had something to do with the persistent delays on the District Line. Changing to the Jubilee Line was a relief - it tends to go faster, and in three stops I was at London Bridge.

Now, London Bridge station has always been a wee mystery to me. I have always ended up exiting at the London Bridge exit. This is fine if I'm going to the Scoop or Tower Bridge - not so fine for where I was going yesterday, which is in the other direction. I knew there was another exit, closer - I could see it on the maps, and as I made my way down the road, I passed it; indeed, I have always returned through that entrance! Somehow though, I could never figure out how to get to it from inside the station, when coming out.

Well gee, I figured it out last night. :-) I think the problem was that I always just followed the crowd - and the crowd was always headed to the London Bridge exit. Left and up the escalator. However, last night, the crowd wasn't so bad - and I looked to my right for once. O gee, a sign that pointed left for the London Bridge exit and right for the Borough Market exit. Hang on - didn't Google Maps say I had to take that exit? I moseyed in that direction. O look, that's where they put all the maps and direction signs! which I never saw before. Sure enough, when I made my way to the exit, it was the one I've seen so often, halfway down the road towards the Menier Chocolate Factory. Thus cutting my walk in half, and meaning that, for once, without even getting out of breath, I was NOT the last person into the theatre, but entered with the main body of the audience. Result!

Seating here is on upholstered benches - comfy enough, especially for a short show, but a bit too snug for what looked like a full house. I found my row - Row B, second from the stage, and facing it. Good seat. Except.. I couldn't see my spot. I asked the ladies at the end of the row. "What number are you?" "22". "Oh, you're this three inches here." The gent to my left suggested I not breathe.

So yes, that was cosier than was ideal. But the show was short, as I say.. What a lot they packed into it though! Or I should say, "he" packed into it - it's a one-man show. Kevin Bishop, a comedian I've never heard of, but he gives a tour-de-force here. He plays a harrassed employee in the reservations office of a really popular restaurant in what seems like New York. Poor fellow finds himself all alone on this day, coming up to Christmas. He should have two colleagues to help, but one, it turns out, has family problems, and Lord know what the other one is up to. Our hapless hero has to man three phones-full of irate customers (including the VIPs, who get special treatment), as well as fielding calls on the special, red phone that connects him to the chef. And let's not forget the intercom, which he has to keep running to, to communicate with the kitchen and front-of-house.

He does all the voices, by the way, which starts off a bit weird but you shortly get used to it. That poor man does a huge amount of running around the stage. Even the red telephone suffers - the little flashing light fell off it last night, in the frenzy. But the real awe-inducing element of this performance is the rapid-fire script, which barely lets up the entire time. Oh, and he changes voices, facial expressions.. and on a couple of occasions, bursts into song. So you get a mini-musical too.

For a Brit, he does a decent American accent, I think. But he got a spontaneous round of applause for his impression of Michael Caine, ringing for a reservation. We had trouble enough keeping up with the plot - but he, who had to remember a tremendous amount of dialogue, never faltered. Good singer, too. And he looked happy at the end - as he might, with the well-deserved standing ovation he got. O yes, I can see why Time Out recommended this, and so do I. Heartily. Only runs until Saturday - limited availability. Booking advised. Go see.

And again, it was too late to blog last night..

So, I'm taking tonight off. Back to Ireland tomorrow for the weekend, and back to the Opera House on Monday for a trilogy of contemporary ballets about the First World War. From my usual vantage point of the Auditorium.

Musical: Forbidden Broadway

Well, I was looking for something to do yesterday evening and came across Forbidden Broadway, showing at the Menier Chocolate Factory. It's a satire of everything currently showing on Broadway (and the West End), and I do believe I've seen it before, but it would be years ago - and they've since included new shows, like Once and The Book of Mormon. The kind of show you can always keep fresh, in fact. And when I checked, they had exactly one ticket left.. and the website wouldn't let me change my billing address. I had to ring the box office to do it for me. But at least I was spared having to decide whether to include a voluntary donation..

Now, I had a minor internal groan at the thought of going to the Menier Chocolate Factory. Nothing against the venue - it's just so far away from me and takes so long to get to! And I had to try to grab something to eat beforehand. Well, Google Maps said I could leave at 7.15 and make it with 10 minutes to spare - mercifully, showing time is 8. I bolted my microwave meal and left at 7.15. Raced to the station, and was just in time to see my train pulling out. So much, as usual, for Google Map's walking estimates! The next train headed to town wasn't due for 10 minutes, so I grabbed the next train heading to Earl's Court and changed there for a train into town, just across platform. And then we sat there for several minutes. And when we moved, we must needs stop again, between stations, and wait again there. Oh, but the District Line drives me mad.. Anyway, we eventually made it to Westminster, where I changed for the Jubilee Line. I just missed a train, but this being the Jubilee Line, there was another due in 1 minute, and it wasn't long before I was in London Bridge.

Now, whatever it is about London Bridge Station, I can find my way to the Jubilee Line from any entrance, but when I'm exiting, I only ever see two options, neither of which was most convenient. Never mind - knowing that the Tooley Street exit was the furthest from where I wanted, I took the Duke Street Hill one instead. The walk isn't too long, but given that it was now 7.51, I could have done without the extra. I had checked it on Streetview, and found the place without problem. Went in the door, and explained to the slightly alarmed-looking person there that I had a ticket for the show. (It was about start time by now.) "Has it started yet?" she called to the person at the box office door. It hadn't. I dashed over there, she checked my name against the two tickets she was holding. Yes, one was mine. She led me through and directed me where to go. I barely had time to draw breath before the show started - good job I had forgotten my phone, so didn't have the bother of turning it off. Seating here is on benches, and reasonably comfortable - although back support isn't great, and mine was a bit stiff by the end. There are no upper levels, support columns, or curvature of the auditorium, so the view is fine from everywhere.

Props are minimal. There's a baby grand piano at the side, a sign over it with the name of the show. And glittering curtains fringe the stage. The show consists of four singers - two hes, two shes - and a pianist. And, with numerous costume changes, they recreate lots of the major shows currently running. The singing is top-notch - I recognise one or two of the performers from other things I've seen around town, but I can never remember their names.

Off the top of my head - they do Matilda, The Lion King, Wicked, The Book of Mormon, Miss Saigon (complete with tiny helicopter, suspended on a wire). They have a skit of Once, complete with a hilarious mocuk-up piano. The guy beside me was complaining to his companion that they hadn't done Jersey Boys, but they did in the second act. The most hilarious for me, and I think the audience in general, was their take on Les Mis. Worth the price of admission all on its own.. The thing I think you most take from it though is a desire to see the shows themselves, as the skits are sung to the showtunes. I was singing away to myself on the way home. Recommended, therefore, for anyone with a love of big-scale musicals. Runs until 16th August.

Nabeel has just been kind enough to send around a map with directions to Hard Facade's gig tonight in Surya. Tomorrow, I get to explore the environs of Heathrow Terminal 2 for the first time, as I fly back to Ireland for the weekend.

Travels With my Aunt

Saw Travels With my Aunt at the Menier Chocolate Factory last night. Not a chocolate factory any more, sadly, but does comprise a gallery and restaurant. This small venue is in the shadow of the Shard, and I haven't been round the area in ages. Tube to London Bridge and a short walk. Sounds easy. Heh. Except of the two entrances I was presented with after the exit barrier, neither let out where I expected. I took the one that seemed to be better, and turning in the direction I thought was correct, saw landmarks that seemed nothing like I expected. Anyway, I headed off that way, in trepidation, and in due course passed the entrance I had been expecting to come out of in the first place. Ugh. Complicated station.

Made it to the venue, which is complicated in itself. I arrived at the gallery end - the theatre is around the other side. Made my way in the back door (yes, that's how you get in) and discovered the box office has been moved. Located it, and they didn't have my ticket printed out. Indeed, there was much confusion, as she asked me how I had booked it. Huh?! She asked hopefully whether I had an email ticket. No, but I did have a confirmation. Finally got the ticket printed out and took my seat. Allocated seats for this performance. For once, no legroom problems, but I missed the comfy seat I had in the Tricycle..

The show is a delightful farce. No, really, you would expect a pleasant time wiith Graham Greene anyway - and there are plenty of laugh-out-loud moments. Four men of a certain age, dressed in similar suits, portray all the characters, and very skilfully. Including the aunt. And the 18-year-old American girl. And the 14-year-old Paraguayan girl, hiding behind a fan. Recommended. Booking advised - it was very nearly full last night, and that a Tuesday. Runs until 29 June.

Coming out, had the most gorgeous view of the Shard, lit up in the darkness. It killed me that I had no way of taking a photo - my camera needs charging, and my phone was in the process of charging, at home.

Off to Merrily We Roll Along (Stephen Sondheim) at the Harold Pinter theatre tonight. Its previous run sold out, but that was at the Menier Chocolate Factory, which is quite small. I'm sure it'll be good, but I do not like the Harold Pinter theatre - still, I'm in the stalls, so legroom should be fairly ok. In an aisle seat in the very back row, to try and avoid those pillars in the middle of the stalls. There aren't many people in the rows in front of me, so I might be moved forward a bit. We'll see.

Star Trek Into Darkness tomorrow night (2D, I couldn't be bothered with 3D). I see it's dropped from 8.4/10 to 8.3/10 on IMDB, but it's still far and away the best rated of the films showing in London that I haven't seen and would like to see. Looking forward to that. Nothing else booked for the immediate future, but finally got a ticket for The Hothouse, in Trafalgar Studios, by Harold Pinter, ironically, on the 28th. Passion Play on the 31st. It was interesting, trying to get the best deal on tickets for that. It's always worth shopping around for tickets for the more popular shows, and this time the competition was between www.lastminute.com and www.londonboxoffice.co.uk. For the date I wanted, www.londonboxoffice.co.uk came up with the better offer - £17 off face value, not bad! And I know what seat I'm sitting in, unlike www.lastminute.com. Finally, booked for The Play That Goes Wrong, also in Trafalgar Studios, for 1 June. I hear good things.