Monday, 31 October 2022

Immersive Audio: Séance & Film: Barbarian

Ahh.. today, 'twas Hallowe'en.. yes, of course I had something for that. Do you remember me mentioning I was going to five Darkfield events this past month? Eagle-eyed readers will have noticed I've previously reviewed four.. which left one. I went to the only one they were running tonight. Séance, appropriately, which, it seems, was their first ever show - I did have to go all the way up to Watford for it, but thought it should be worth it. I booked the first showing of the evening, which was at 7.

Fastest way to get there was a train from Euston. And with O'Neill's on the way, it made sense to eat there. I left early - time was of the essence. By 'eck, though.. I guess they were on a shift change, and everyone going off had left the tables piled high with dirty dishes and glasses. I checked, but the upstairs section was closed. So I placed myself at the single cleared - if sticky - table, downstairs. Ordered online, as usual - and when the guy came with my drink, he kind of gave a look at the tables around, and cleared two on his way back. And to be fair, when another guy started to do the same, it hardly took them any time to get most of them cleared. Meantime, I was delighted to see my dinner arrive within 10 minutes - and was, as usual, well fed.

Off, then, to Euston - just as it started to pour rain. Now, initially, Google Maps had only shown me the 5.56pm train as an option to get me to Watford on time - but when I recalculated from the pub, it also gave me a 6.24pm option. Which was a relief - but I headed for the 5.56, just in case. And when I got to the station, I was delighted I was early - the 6.24 was cancelled! I got on the 5.56 - went as near as possible to the front, and managed to get a seat.

We were late in departure - when we'd been delayed a couple of minutes, an announcement was made, apologising and explaining that two doors were out of action. They'd sent for someone to fix them, and were hopeful that at least one could be fixed, so we could get underway. (They can run with one broken door, but not two..?!) People started to stream off the train - someone helpfully told whoever might be listening that the train we could see on an adjacent platform was going the same way - at 6.03pm.

Well, he also explained that it was a slower train - a stopping service. I finally decided that a slow train was better than one that might never move at all, and made my way as well. Unfortunately, that meant traipsing all the way back along the train, back onto the concourse, down the other platform, all the way along that train. They were packed in like sardines - I finally managed to squeeze on, with a couple of minutes to go. I checked the map - of the three stops between there and Watford, at least they were only stopping at two. After the first, there was breathing space - after the second, I scored a seat. Finally arrived in Watford, making it out of the station about 6.40.

Noticed an O' Neill's right outside - perhaps I should just have eaten there! I then went down two wrong turns before I went the right way, and sure enough, 10 minutes later I was outside the Palace Theatre - wondering where my shipping container was. Couldn't see it. Tried the door - locked. But yes, this was the right company - the show was advertised on the door. I tried ringing the box office - got an automated message, which, to be fair, started with instructions on getting to Séance. "Turn right from the theatre - it's on the Parade, across the bridge. Or there's a map on the website. A two-minute walk"

Unfortunately, I was too flustered to find a map on the website. It's at https://watfordpalacetheatre.co.uk/events/seance/, for future reference - I hadn't looked it up before. And I couldn't figure out what they meant by "right from the theatre" - right as you're facing it? (yes) Right as you're standing in front of it, looking at the road? (what I thought) And in the latter case, the first thing you come to is a crossroads - right at the crossroads as well? The automated message had given no other directions. I looked up the Parade on Google Maps, and saw I now seemed to be going in the wrong direction, so retraced my steps. Tears of frustration as the time ticked away, and I had visions of missing my show - and after all the trouble I'd had getting there!

In desperation, I asked a young couple at the side of the road whether they knew where Séance was. "Oh yes!" (oh phew) She told me to head back, then right, then right again. He said, "or you could head through the market", pointing the way I was going. I decided to try that way, which seemed faster - he advised me to turn right when I got onto the high street. Bless him, I wove my way through the market, its stalls now closed - was half afraid I'd find the exit locked, but no, I emerged on a high street, looked to the right - and there it was. With three minutes to spare. I panted my way over, located one of the organisers, and showed him my ticket, remarking that he'd never believe what I'd had to go through to get there..

Inside is a long table, with cinema-style seats on each side - we filed in. I'm not sure whether we completely filled the space, but certainly we nearly did. There is a plastic container at the door - under a shelter, to protect it from the rain - where you can leave anything bulky. Headphones are on hooks on the walls behind the seats, each person's headphones to their left. Put them on - the lead is attached to the left earpiece, which makes sense from their positioning. When you put them on, you hear the test for "left ear, right ear". They then have a brief blackout, followed by lights up again, in case anyone wants to leave. And then you're into it.

Complete darkness - you're asked to put your hands on the table, which makes you feel surprisingly vulnerable. The sound effects are, as usual, terrifyingly realistic - only for I was nearly at the end of the container, it really sounded as though it continued for ages to my left. As you can tell from the trailer, it sounds as though someone is walking on the table. And here's the thing - it feels like it, too! The table vibrates exactly as it would if what you can hear were really happening.. Everything is so realistic that I started to conjure up visions, in the blackness.

Now, here's a caveat. This is not for the overly suggestible. At one point, the guy on the headphones asks sundry people to lie on the table (this is another freaky element, and why I wonder whether it has to be full to capacity every time - you can never really tell whether people are talking in real life or only in the audio feed). Well.. all of a sudden, I felt something brush my hand. Nearly took my hands off the table, except we had been sternly instructed not to do this (it frees the conjured spirit). I did move them away, though - wondering to myself, is there actually a physical element to this? Happily, that was the last I felt.

When the lights finally came on, the guy to my left apologised - to me, and to the people across from us. He'd taken it as a real instruction, and had climbed up on the table.. I reassured him that it just made it seem more real. And as we made our way out, he did think to ask whether we'd heard the thing at the end as well.. yes, we all heard the same thing, don't worry, you weren't singled out. Goes to show though, eh? You have been warned.. suggestible people had better avoid. The organiser was utterly shocked when I told him what had happened! For anyone else who might fancy it, though, it runs until Saturday. For my money, it's the best they've done!

Well, at least I knew my way back to the station afterwards! When I got there - for heaven's sake. The next train to Euston was supposed to be at 7.54 - but was cancelled. The next fastest one, we were told on the board, was at 8.14 from Platform 9 - so off we went. Only to be told, by the train guard standing at the top of the steps, that the next train to Euston was from Platform 7 - in one minute. So we raced over there - happily, it hadn't arrived yet, and we managed to squeeze onto a much more comfortable express train, nonstop - unlike the one I'd come up on. I was sat opposite a woman who was on the phone to someone to explain the delay - apparently, a problem in Birmingham! Truly, the trains in this country are a disaster.. I am so glad I don't normally have to depend on them, I'd never get anywhere.

Deliberately booked early, to try and squeeze something else in. Now, Séance only lasts 20 minutes - and it seemed I could get down to Leicester Square within an hour. Which gave me time to get to Prey for the Devil, showing at Cineworld Leicester Square at 9pm. Another exorcism story, this one unusually seems to have the exorcism performed by a nun! (Very egalitarian.) She gets around the Church's rules about women not doing such a thing by claiming that the same demon that possessed her own mother is now inhabiting a patient at the facility where she works. So this nun is probably a target. Well, it's probably not high art, but it should do the trick..

Ah, but.. that blasted film list never now gets updated until the Friday - with the films due to show on the week starting that Friday! Poor you, if you wanted to go to a film that Friday.. So - just checked it on Friday, and lo, there's a new kid on the block. Barbarian - very obviously released with the Hallowe'en market in mind - looks like a jumpscare film. But it has some good credentials, coming from "an executive producer" of The Ring and The Grudge, both excellent films. In this one, a young woman comes to Detroit for a job interview, books a house through Airbnb. (Ah, we know where this is going..) Well, from what I could glean from the trailer, the house already has someone renting it. But it's late at night, and he seems fine - whereas the neighbourhood really isn't. So she decides to stay the night and move on in the morning. Biig mistake.. ooh, and it seems to have a really big basement.

The teaser trailer spends the whole time showing us audience reactions! This is currently very highly rated! Showing in the Odeon Tottenham Court Road, at 9.30. So I walked from Euston. Ah, happy days when it was actually my local cinema..

I was early - the showing hadn't started yet. So I bought a soft drink, because I was parched - and a small bottle of white wine, when I saw they had it! Very insipid, I might add. I must also state a general displeasure with the Odeon website - no matter the cinema, it's impossible to navigate them - they take so long to load, I'm never sure I'm on the right page. Anyway, they have a few tables to the side, here, complete with chairs - so I had some comfort while I waited. The usher told me he'd let me know when I could go in - and fair play, he did! Impossible to see my row when I went in there, though, and I wasn't the only one - everyone was running through the alphabet, and counting rows to see which was their row! Seat numbers, we could at least see. (I do recommend sitting on the very left of the row - that's where you enter, and it has a spare bit beside it to the left, where you can leave your stuff.)

Only one horror film trailer - M3gan does look good, about an advanced AI doll, made to resemble a little girl, and whose role is as a real little girl's playmate. Same producers as The Black Phone..

And so to the feature. For all the jumpscares in the trailer - this has a lovely, slow burn. Yes, there are jumpscares, but they're cleverly handled - and frankly, most of the surprises in this film come from extraordinary plot twists, and changes of pace! Funnily enough, the film it kept reminding me of was something completely different; Rec, my third favourite horror film of all time, is a zombie film, and an awful lot shorter - but this reminded me of it, with its imagery and its pacing. More than that, I cannot say without giving too much away - but some plot twists are so extraordinary that, despite being scared, I actually left the cinema laughing. Do stay for the credits, there's a little more of the story there..

Scarifying storm on the walk home - as I write, the wind is playing havoc with my balcony furniture! Haven't heard the like here, before.

Tomorrow, the horror continues - I've booked with TAC again for The Drought, a short horror play at Grimfest at the Old Red Lion again.

On Wednesday, back with the Crick Crack Club (CCC) for their annual Day of the Dead event - this one is at Rich Mix. Stars Daniel MordenClare MurphyLucy Lill, and TUUP - and all but Clare Murphy, I haven't seen in an age! In fact, I've never heard of Lucy Lill before..

On Thursday,  I was to be back with Up in the Cheap Seats (UITCS) - for Noor, at Southwark Playhouse. The true story of a WWII spy - and bought, as usual, on my PAYG subscription - which gives you cheap tickets to five shows, and never expires. Suggestion of eating beforehand at Mercato Metropolitano. But wouldn't you know it, that night's performance was cancelled.. Instead, I'm off to a talk at Watkin's Bookshop (which also has a Meetup presence!). Theme is The First Ghosts, by Irving Finkel - ghost stories have been around for a long time..! He's written a book about the first evidence of tales of the supernatural.. Delighted to be continuing the scary theme for the week, after tonight being so fantastic for a horror fan! Then I'm back to Ireland for the weekend.

Next Monday, with nothing on Meetup, I thought about heading to see the Carnaby Street Christmas lights, which will be up by then. But I had another look at what's on, and have now booked for Piano Passions at Cadogan Hall - Beethoven and Chopin, gorgeous!

On the 8th, headed to see John Gabriel Borkman, by Ibsen, at the Bridge Theatre.

On the 9th - originally, nothing better coming up than Soho Comedy Factory, upstairs at The Blue Posts. Now, instead, I've changed my booking for Noor to this night. Sadly, not with the group, who rearranged for a night I can't go.

On the 10th, back - at last! - with London Classical Music and Theatre Group (LCMTG), for Alcina at the Royal Opera House. More Handel..

On the 11th, I was heading to The Horror Show at Somerset House - a horror-based art exhibition - with The Horror Book Club. But then Civilised London popped up with another meal - so I booked that, and we were headed to Champor Champor, a Thai / Malay restaurant. Meeting beforehand at The Rose, nearby. Until he decided, just on Thursday, to cancel it! I supposed he hadn't wanted to do it with only two of us, since I was - unusually - the only one to sign up. But to my further surprise - he kicked me out of the group later that night! No warning, no explanation - not very "civilised". Jeez, I suppose he's had enough of me. Killer is, he was such a good reference for good eateries - and the group is private, so without being a member, I won't be able to see where he's going. Ah well, TBH, I was beginning to feel out of place with the people who were attending the meals.. which was pretty much all I was doing with the group, lately. Meantime, I'm back at The Horror Show - at least the ticket won't go to waste!

On the 12th, planning another meal with the people that are harder to herd than cats! As of now, of the four people I've invited, one is a pretty certain "no" and two more are iffy, as they might have to be abroad. Jeez.. If it's just the same person that was the only one to make it last time, I think we'll head somewhere different. For variety. On the other hand, Imad's Syrian Kitchen is right off Carnaby Street.. and the lights are probably going to be cool.. Of course, there is the small issue of the irregularity of the wine measures!

On the 13th, back with the CCC at the British Museum, where Daniel Morden and Hugh Lupton are performing The Iliad.

On the 14th, not having been with LCMTG for ages, I'm with them for the second time in a week! Heading to Wigmore Hall this time, for the Takács Quartet, who are playing Beethoven. Now sold out - and I'm not surprised, given that when I booked, I got one of the last three (top price) seats! Ah well, it wasn't astronomical - and I do love Beethoven.

On the 15th, back at the QT Bar - for the RB and Soul Revue. Now, they put on a great show - but, given my experience last time, I'll know to buy my drink at the upstairs bar and take it down with me - better choice! And at least this time, I'll know where I'm going..

On the 16th, Im back at Conway Hall, for a concert called Sing Like a Vagabond - Shouts and Cries of Victorian London. Tickets are free, but you do have to book.

On the 17th, I'm back with UITCS at the Coliseum, for a performance of Yeomen of the Guard, by Gilbert & Sullivan. And knowing the steepness of the steps in the Balcony - and the irregularity - and what with my stairs phobia - I've done my best to get a seat at the side, so I can use the handrail to get down. Oh, and an aisle seat, what with the restricted legroom..

Then I'm back to Ireland again. And for once, not going to the cinema that weekend - instead, UL is hosting a PhD reunion, with a tour of the campus and, crucially, free lunch. And I'll be using the occasion to catch up with an old friend and, hopefully, find out what finally prompted him to quit lecturing at last, more than 10 years after I did, considering he was bullied even worse than I was!

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