Play: Pantaloon's History of Britain

Ah, it's good to get back to the Scoop! When it came up on Time Out, there was never really any doubt. Not with the weather we've been having! The show was Pantaloons' History of Britain (in two hours) and I was hooked. Haven't been there since last year - they only run shows in the summer - and I'm a big fan.

I kinda remembered how to get there, but it was a good job I checked, because I was hazy on the walk from London Bridge station. It's easy though - take the Tooley Street exit, hang a right, carry on past Hay's Galleria, and take - not the next street, but the turn into the plaza after that. And it's right at the end, with a gorgeous view of Tower Bridge. No distance at all.

I picked up the makings of a small picnic in the Marks & Spencer you pass on the way, and made my way straight to the Scoop - which, as the name implies, is a sunken amphitheatre, beside City Hall. I got there about 15 mins early, and it was about 1/3 full - no booking required (or possible) for this venue. You can rent cushions, which I completely forgot about until I had sat down - I decided it wasn't worth getting up again. I discovered later that they seem to have changed their cushion policy - last year, you could rent one by leaving a refundable £5 deposit. This year, it's only £1, it seems, but non-refundable.

The Pantaloons are a mad bunch. They seemed to have a number of friends in the audience, but interacted merrily with pretty much everyone. The show unofficially started several minutes before the official start, with them jizzing everyone up. And finally we were into a race through about 2000 years of history. Two hours, with a 10-minute interval around 1588. During which they distribute comment cards - and bless! they're including a pen this time, very practical.

They're great performers, great singers. Two of them, as I remember, play the guitar at intervals. And they have great fun - and so do we - as they recreate famous moments in history. Highlights include the rather clueless Henry VIII, who has an unfortunate habit of losing his wives and having to get new ones. Popular cultural references are rife, more so in the beginning. Audience interaction is expected. The only bum note, for me, was the 15-minute excerpt from Richard III. Apart from witty asides, it's played pretty straight, and I have no idea what it's doing in there. Its tone differs completely from the rest of the play, and if they can't do anything with the production of it, I think they should leave it out entirely.

Having said that, I had fun, they had fun, and it was a fantastic evening to be outdoors. Roll on many more such! And it was free.. This show runs for just one more night - although the company is touring - the Fringe Festival at the Scoop runs until the 20th, and the Scoop will be hosting free events right through until September 26th. Certainly, if you're in London over the summer, don't miss it!

There's lots of interesting stuff roundabouts:

 

 

Now, I dunno about you, but to me, that skyline is beginning to look like something out of a cartoon..

 

Tomorrow, Helen and I are heading to the zoo. We have tickets to tomorrow's Zoo Lates event, for which we got a half price offer on Time Out. Sold out now, and the offer probably is too. These run on Friday nights, if you're interested. Entertainment and animals! Definitely different. And on Saturday, I have a free ticket to Dreams of the Orient, a dance show in Fairfield Halls in Croydon, courtesy of ShowFilmFirst. Earlier in the day, I figure I'll regret it if I don't head along, for a while at least, to the Naked Bike Ride..

Acrobatics: A Simple Space

Well, well, it looks as though there'll be no films for the time being. I could've gone to see The Irish Pub last night, but it was showing all the way out in Peckham, and it was sunny, and I didn't feel like trekking all the way out there. Took myself to the cemetery instead - where, I notice, they started to close up more than 10 minutes before closing time. Take note. And tonight, I would've loved to go to the Scoop.. I haven't been there yet this year, and it's definitely the weather for it! Events are staged there during the summer as part of the London Free Festival, and the Fringe was on tonight. But I had an eye test scheduled, and I figured (correctly, as it turned out) that I wouldn't make it in time.

So I had a Plan B. And my Plan B was to take myself back to the Udderbelly Festival, where there's a new acrobatics show - A Simple Space. There is a Time Out offer on this show if you book by midnight next Saturday, but they didn't have tickets for tonight. Rats! Apart from that, there was no trouble in getting a ticket - no need to book, although perhaps weekends are busier, and certainly no need to go to an expensive reseller! Check the official website first - there were plenty of unoccupied seats tonight, and apart from the Time Out offer, nobody is offering cheaper tickets.

So I took myself into town after my eye test. When I disembarked at Embankment, I saw the river exit was closed - I guess they're doing maintenance on the bridge at that point. No problem - just take the other exit, head left under the bridge, and left again, and take the stairs to the pedestrian bridge on the other side. Which is the side the Udderbelly Festival is on anyway. And I did have a different view from the usual one..

Also, having a breather between climbing out of the Tube and climbing onto the bridge made all the difference.. much easier!

From this side, you see the box office long before you come down from the bridge. I got a ticket, and made my way into the area in front of the purple tent, where the show is. The other headline circus show, Limbo, is playing in the Spiegeltent, well signposted to the left. And while I'm at it, let me give that show another plug.. I saw it last year, it's back by popular demand, and it is terrific! Anarchic, daring, unexpected, and great fun. I can't recommend it highly enough. Check out my blog post of 28th June last for more info. Running until 17th August.

Anyway! The last time I was at the Udderbelly, earlier this year, was something of a disaster. I had a hot dog, which I hated, and saw a show, which I loathed. Let me reassure you first off that tonight was much better. Couldn't really be otherwise, eh? I avoided the hot dogs and queued for a burger. It was a long queue, and I spent ages mulling over the menu, until I finally got close enough to see the burgers that were being brought out. Err.. I do not know when I have seen such insipid-looking burgers. The buns were tiny, and did a pathetic job of covering the fillings. I didn't actually know they did burger buns that small! Also, the place was packed and there was nowhere to sit, which meant that I'd have to eat standing up - which was a consideration, given that there was no bun to hold in the various bits. I just had chips. Which were very good, I'm glad to say. And I didn't need the little container of ketchup I asked her for.

It didn't take me long to eat that, and I mulled it over, and finally decided to have a glass of wine. There wasn't much else to do. There are three bars in situ - one exclusively for Pimm's, one that seemed to do beer and spirits, and a third that looked more my style. So I went up there and decided, from the drinks list over the bar, what I wanted. And then I waited. And waited. For the slowest bartender in history. Before he even acknowledged my existence, they were announcing that people should start to queue for A Simple Space, so I gave up and went to queue. And when they finally opened the doors, I discovered I was in the wrong queue. 'Twould have been handy to have someone tell us from the start there was a priority queue..!

Never mind, when I went in - given that I was on my own - I scored a seat in the very front row, albeit at a corner and with a lighting post right in my view - there's one at each corner. But they're slim and it's not too much of a distraction. Now, the title gives it away - there is nothing on stage at this point. Eventually, the acrobatic troupe comes on - seven young Australian acrobats and a musician, who plays at the side throughout. Collectively, they go by the moniker of Gravity & Other Myths. :-)

My, how acrobatics have changed since I was a kid! Gone are the spangly costumes, gone are the safety nets. In their place, we are treated to shows that are ever new and daring. All they care about is pushing themselves beyond the conventional and into the exceptional. Beware, for this show, though - if you're in the front row, you could find yourself a participant! There's a bit where they fix you with their beady eyes.. and next thing you know, you're encouraged to go on stage. And have someone hover above you, then walk on you.

No, not me - but the guy two seats away, for instance. Mind you, we all got to participate later on, when they all did handstands and we all had to throw balls at them, to see who could endure it the longest! All about competition, this show. There's a competition to see who can hold their breath the longest. There's a competition to see who can do the most backflips. There's a competition - a real crowd-pleaser, this - where three guys are skipping. They skip in unison, faster and faster, until one stumbles, trips on the rope, or whatever. And then he has to remove an item of clothing. And they start again, until it happens again. Each is wearing three items of clothing - a top, shorts, briefs. So, three strikes and you're out.. and they do continue until someone gets three strikes..! And THEN - he's made to do 10 skips in the nip. I won't tell you how they do it, but it is family-friendly. Honest!

They seem a jolly crew, and it's all very good-humoured. But my, they have a terrific level of technical skill. There's a lot of balancing on other people's body parts, there are a lot of human statues, with all different angles experimented with. And the bit where they swing the girls around.. ooh la la! We screamed, we laughed, we cheered! And we gave them a standing ovation. And what's more, they're hanging around outside afterwards, handing out flyers and pushing t-shirts. Good on 'em! Yes, guys, I'll HAPPILY spread the word. Go see, go see, go see. Pity they don't have a double deal with Limbo - they're both shows not to miss. This one runs until the 6th July.

Tomorrow? The Scoop beckons.. the show is a comedic history of Britain, sounds good. And if the weather holds, it'll be terrific! And it's free.. On Friday, Helen and I are heading to the zoo, which is doing "lates". We got half price tickets with yet another Time Out offer. Booking essential - these are popular. On Saturday, I may just swing by the Naked Bike Ride (all in the sake of protest against fossil fuels, natch!) At any rate, I have something to do that evening - ShowFilmFirst is playing a blinder these days, and I have a free ticket to Dreams of the Orient, a dance production, on in Fairfield Halls in Croydon again - the third time they've sent me there!

Film: Downhill

There was a number of reasons why I mightn't have gone to see Downhill tonight. Firstly, with such a simple story - four middle-aged men trekking across the UK - I was sure it wouldn't hold its IMDB rating, which I thought unfeasibly high at 8.9. Very few films deserve that rating. Secondly, the arm of my glasses broke over the weekend and I was trying to get an appointment for an eye test so I could get a new pair - and I didn't want to go to the later showing. Thirdly, after a weekend of miserable weather in Ireland, it's terrific to get back to the heat of London, and the afternoon was glorious - too good to spend indoors if you didn't have to.

So, the odds were against Downhill. But, despite my reservations, its rating held. And I couldn't get an eye test appointment until Wednesday. And the evening was very overcast, although humid. So, into town I went - Downhill is only showing at the Empire in Leicester Square.

When I got there, I had serious doubts I'd be able to get in - turned out that a premiere was in progress. Turns out it was the premiere of NOW: In the Wings on a World Stage, a documentary about the touring production of Richard III, starring Kevin Spacey - who, apparently, was due to be in attendance. I keep just missing him! I see the play he's currently starring in - Clarence Darrow - doesn't run on Mondays. I actually had to ask the guy at the door whether it was possible to just go to the pictures!! Yes, just keep right.. Seems that time of day is popular for premieres at this cinema.

I decided I'd like an ice cream, and bought myself a chocolate Haagen Dazs. And while that transaction was taking place, I was well positioned to watch the poseurs in front of the cameras - having run the gamut outside the cinema, they were doing the same at the entrance to the screen. I didn't see anyone I recognised, and got myself away from the silliness. My showing was in Screen 6  - I've been here before, it's the small one at the top of a maze of stairs. Just avoid any door that says "Fire Exit".

The guy had given me a seat in the back row of the screen - i.e. the third. I entered.. and although it was 20 minutes before the scheduled start time, something was playing! I soon realised it was the film I had come to see. "What time did it start?!" I asked myself, taking a seat at the end of my row so as not to disturb the patrons already there. But it soon became apparent that it was near the end - this must still be the late afternoon showing. Now, it's a long time since I walked in at the end of the previous showing - very remiss of the staff to let me, I guess they were otherwise engaged. Certainly, before our screening started, a couple of staff members did come to check our tickets.

Thank God I go by IMDB ratings - otherwise, I'd never have considered this film. And I'd have missed something very, very good indeed. It's a very simple format - a young film student chooses, as his project, to make a documentary film about his dad, and three of his dad's mates, doing the Coast to Coast walk across the UK - left to right, rather than top to bottom (or vice versa). Much more manageable. That's all I knew before going in, but it does become apparent that these guys are too entertaining to be amateurs - their faces are vaguely familiar, although they're not very famous, but they are professional actors.

I'll say this though - Simon Pegg et al, makers of The World's End - THIS is what you were going for and missed utterly. That, too, was a film about a group of old schoolfriends, now middle-aged, trying to recapture their youth, and doing a pub crawl in the meantime. Mind you, that film also had an alien invasion. But what it really lacked was that sense of real camaraderie, which you get in this film, which comes across as so realistic that it comes as a shock to recognise faces, and also to discover, at the end, that there was an actual screenplay!

They're a riot, this four, three of whom are natural comedians, in different ways. There are the usual mishaps, the mid-life crises, the actresses they run into on the way.. and with it all, it's a great ad for the walk itself, which really exists, and takes in some stunning scenery. This film is a low-key stunner, and I feel very lucky to have seen it. Thumbs up!

When I came out, it seemed to have been raining - I must have timed it well. I felt like a Chinese - nothing in the fridge, plus Chinatown was right beside me - and I moseyed around until I came across the Feng Shui Inn. Now, I had a good meal here before, and it's an amazement that it hasn't occurred to me since - so I said I'd try it. They have some slightly unusual choices - although not as unusual as some nearby places - and I decided to try the lamb with honey sauce. It was lovely, served with a large quantity of onion - although I was probably in the mood for something spicier. Still, recommended. And I must commend them on their excellent wine - also, their 175ml glasses are much closer to 250 ml, making them much better value than a bottle or half bottle. Take note..

Tomorrow, so far, is looking like another film - there are other things on the horizon, now that summer is upon us, but they won't have started tomorrow - and, by IMDB ratings, the highest rated film showing tomorrow that I might consider is one I was considering last week - The Irish Pub, of all things: a documentary about what makes it world-famous. It's showing, appropriately enough, in a pub cinema - The Montpelier. Or I might not - if it's sunny. We'll see!

Sod it!

Well, Time Out threw up an unexpected listing today, in the form of Clarence Darrow, starring Kevin Spacey, in the Old Vic tonight. I checked, and as it turned out, tonight was the only remaining night for which tickets were still available. However, only premium tickets were available. For £99, including booking fee. Now, I like the venue, and I know Kevin Spacey is reliably excellent. However, I know next to nothing about the play, and am not sufficiently bothered to pay that much to see it. So I said no.

Which left film - top of the list was Omar. I could actually still make that, it's not on until 8.50. But you know, I just had dinner, I'm just finishing a bottle of wine, I'm comfy, and I'm dying to see the next in Series 6 of True Blood, which just arrived on dvd.

So... (see title!)

Off to Ireland for the weekend, and for Monday, so far, it's looking like yet another film. Top of the list is Downhill, of all things. Hmm.. let's see how the ratings do over the weekend!

Film: Edge of Tomorrow

Edge of Tomorrow has been hovering on my film radar since its release, last Friday. But, since then, I've been otherwise engaged. Friday, I went to see Hard Façade, which I've had booked for a month. Naturally - wouldn't miss 'em, if I get the chance. Saturday, I got the chance to see the excellent Wolf Hall. Sunday, I did go to a film, but it was the higher rated Lakshmi, which, frankly, wasn't worth it - not in comparison, anyhow. Monday, I was in Guildford, and not up to anything by the time I got back. And I was planning to go see it yesterday, but I got a free ticket to Black Coffee.. and so it was that I waited until tonight to see Edge of Tomorrow!

There was no trouble getting a ticket, so I just sauntered along to my local cinema this evening - when I managed to drag myself off the couch, where I was very comfy indeed. The day hadn't been able to decide what to do with itself, but it decided to be beautifully sunny - if a bit cold - as I walked to the cinema. I was a bit late - and, of course, the usual long queues greeted me at the cinema tills. I'd get my ticket from the machines, except for the voucher scheme. I noticed one of the people behind the counter had donned what looked like devil's horns on her hairband - I realised, eventually, that it was a nod to the film Maleficent, in which Angelina Jolie wears them as the bad fairy. Actually, they' be great for Hallowe'en!

Finally - after only four minutes, it's easy to count when the time is prominently displayed on screens in plain view - it was my turn and I asked for a ticket to Edge of Tomorrow. When she asked where I wanted to sit - middle or back (does anyone ever ask for the front?) - I said "middle", knowing full well that whatever seat she gave me, I would take one in the row that opens onto the horizontal aisle, with all that legroom. I could've said that, but figured, given the number of free seats still available that was also displayed on those screens, there wouldn't be a rush. She took my voucher and said she'd give me another, but then couldn't find them - so she advised me to go ahead so I wouldn't miss my film, and to come back afterwards for it.

Indeed, although there were a number of people there, the cinema was far from full, and I had no trouble taking a seat in the row I wanted. The trailers were, uniformly, for films I'd rather go blind than see - crap-looking sci-fi, and 22 Jump Street - but it wasn't long before the film started. Right then! First impressions - o my goodness, we're back at D-Day! The enemy forces have conquered most of continental Europe. Brendan Gleeson is the incorrigible general leading the allied invasion, which is imminent, and scheduled to attack - surprise, surprise - via the beaches of northern France. Operations are being directed from London, Trafalgar Square is a helicopter landing pad (cue some gorgeous aerial shots), and Heathrow is a military camp. Gee guys, did anyone notice that the 70th anniversary of D-Day is imminent, I wonder? Hmm.

Only this time, the enemy forces are aliens. Enter our hero, Tom Cruise, who works in PR for the military. Never seen active service, and doesn't want to. Only Brendan Gleeson has this idea of having him giving live reports from the front. "Oh no," says Tom. In short, they argue, Brendan Gleeson has him arrested, he runs away, they catch him and knock him out with a high-tech stun gun, and the next thing he knows, he's in with the new recruits, and his master sergeant, a gleefully vindictive Bill Paxton, has been told he's a deserter who was impersonating an officer.

I read a review of this recently that praised Tom's comic acting, and they're right. You feel every moment of his confusion, his frustration, his fear, his disbelief that no-one will believe him when he explains who he is. Anyway, he ends up in the invasion force - it's a slaughter, the aliens knew they were coming (and very scary, fast-moving, many-legged things they are, too) - and it's not too much of a spoiler to say that he gets killed fairly quickly. But he kills the alien too, which lands on top of him and bleeds all over him, and he swallows some.

..which is how he comes to wake up in the military camp again, reliving the same day. (We discover the whys and wherefores - kind of - later on.) Anyway, same thing happens, roughly, and he dies again. And wakes up again. And again. And again. Anyway, he runs into Emily Blunt (now a blonde), who's a special forces officer, and realises what's happening to him, because it happened to her too. (She gets a clue when he starts predicting things.) She's very good at fighting aliens, and has earned herself the charming epithet of "Full Metal Bitch". So she teaches him to fight well enough to stay alive a bit longer, and off we go.

What this most reminded me of was a videogame. Any old videogame. Basic principle: you keep getting killed until you figure out how not to. So you turn left instead of right at some point, and you stay alive - for maybe another five minutes. And then you get killed again. And every time, you have to restart and go through a number of familiar steps. We see this for a while in the film, then they figure we'll get bored, and they fast-forward to the new bit each time. Really, it takes a lot of attempts.

The review I read complained about the unnecessary frisson between Tom and Emily, and they have a point - in particular, I didn't buy the ending, which was very pat - but, as he said, it's not too distracting. Indeed, Tom is at his most charming, and there is a chemistry between them. Actually though, for my money, I think there's more sheer enjoyment in Godzilla, if you're looking for something like this. Despite the non-existent acting in that. But it is a good film.

Of course, when I came out, the person who had said she'd give me another voucher was nowhere to be seen. The queues were as long as ever, everyone was busy, and I still have a spare, so I skipped it.

Tomorrow is looking like another film, and top of the list is Omar, a Middle Eastern love story, showing in the Odeon Covent Garden. Don't think I've ever been to that one. As usual, watch this space. And then it's back to Ireland for the weekend.

Play: Black Coffee

I normally go by what Time Out recommends, unless I'd really rather not.. I make an exception, if I can, when I get a freebie. And so it proved yesterday, when I got a ShowFilmFirst email offering free tickets to the opening night of Black Coffee, by Agatha Christie, tonight in Fairfield Halls. It's not so often that they manage free tickets to something that I want to see, and what's more, send the email in time for me to see it! So I was delighted to get the email, and to see that there were tickets left when I went to book.

I have been to Fairfield Halls before - also for a free play, courtesy of ShowFilmFirst. But it's been a while, so I had to check my routes. I discovered that there was a direct train to East Croydon, the local station, from my local station, at 6.24, which would get me to the theatre in time for 7.15, by which time all free tickets were to be picked up. Or I could change at Clapham Junction and get an express train, on which East Croydon was the next stop, and which would get me there much faster.

Anyway, I made it down to my local station in time for 6.24. Only to see that the train was delayed - first by four minutes, then five, six.. it finally pulled in, 11 minutes late. O dear. Things got worse when I discovered that, of all those people crammed onto the train, very few were getting off. Indeed, there was no room for me. I morosely stood back and watched the train pull off, wondering what I was to do now. I had picked up a paper, but was too worried to read it.

The noticeboard said there was a (delayed) train to Clapham Junction, due in a few minutes. Ok - if I managed to get on this one, and indeed there were now far fewer people waiting.. and if I managed a quick change in Clapham.. I still might make it. Oh, the trials of travelling at rush hour! Well, I squeezed onto it, and eventually, mercifully, we pulled off. Note to the pretty young lady squashed up against me: 1. The loud slurping that accompanied the chewing of your gum, right beside my ear, was absolutely disgusting. Jeez, I remember when people considered it impolite to make such loud noises with their mouths, when not actually speaking. 2. It is both impolite and unhygienic not to bother even looking for a handkerchief after you sneeze. And it's not like you didn't have one - you were eventually forced to root out a tissue after your nose, very noisily, filled up with all that stuff you couldn't be bothered blowing out of it earlier. Ugh, I come across this so much..!

Moving on. I moved at a snail's pace - or it felt like it - at Clapham, through crowds that flowed like treacle. The stairs are always an issue for me here, what with my stairs phobia - I need the rail, and people moving against the main flow will always head for the rail.. so if you're coming with the main flow, at the rail, you will find people coming against you. And when that happens, and I have to leave the rail, I absolutely freeze. This can be a problem. Happened this evening, but luckily I was nearly at a level bit and it wasn't too bad. I found out that trains to East Croydon leave from Platform 13 (handy sign, that one that tells you what platform to go to for where), and that the next one should have left already, but was - surprise! - delayed. Phew!

So, I made it to Platform 13, with a few minutes to spare. Then the platform display confused me - you had to be in the front of the train, and here I was towards where the rear would be. Nuts! So I started to weave my way to the other end of the platform, which was a lot busier. Then the announcer explained that the train would divide after a certain stop, which was why you needed to watch where you were. But my stop was the first, so not affected - I could have stayed where I was! Nuts! So I started to weave my way back to the less busy bit, in hopes of getting a seat when I got on. I made it about halfway before the train pulled in - and I settled for a slightly less crowded bit of platform. And even got a seat on the train!

It took about 10 minutes to get to East Croydon. Last time I was here, I got severely lost just trying to find the exit! Must have been renovation works, because this time it was gloriously easy. Follow the "Way Out" signs, up the ramp, and the exit is actually right in front of you. It doesn't even matter really which you take - they both end up in roughly the same place. I checked on the map outside just to be sure, but I knew my way - head right from the station, then left at the road junction. Fairfield Halls is the large, white building, on the left - the name is even displayed on the side wall. It's literally just around the corner from the station - I'd have made it even faster if I'd taken the shortcut across the courtyard, but I wasn't sure of my way, so I didn't.

I made it to the box office at 7.14.. one minute to spare! Got a ticket in the front stalls, and panted my relieved way over to the side, to organise myself. At least I knew my way around this time. The building quite reminds me of the Leisureland, in Galway, where we used to go a lot when I was a kid - similar style, probably the same era, and multifunction, like the Leisureland. Just behind the box office is a large, open-plan area, at the edge of which are counters for the cloakroom, brasserie, and snack bar. There always seems to be an art exhibition upstairs, and the theatre lobby is up the stairs to the left. Posters advertised a Murder Mystery Season, starting in July.

They'd made us collect our free tickets half an hour before the performance start, so I had time to grab a bite to eat - I hadn't had time after work. Free tables were in short supply, and anyway I didn't want to rush, and the theatre had just opened - so I opted for just a slice of chocolate fudge cake, which was very good, rather than a full meal, appetising as it looked. As it was, I had to eat it standing - I was lucky to find a place to leave my plate, when I'd finished.

In the theatre, I had a decent seat, slightly to the side. I do believe the place was completely full, probably substantially with people who had ShowFilmFirst tickets. And in due course, the show started. This was, apparently, her first play, and follows a classic style - set in the 1930s, in the drawing room of a grand English manor house, with a death and a whole coterie of suspects. This is one of the Hercule Poirot stories, where the case is solved by the famous, witty, Belgian detective. There are three acts, two intervals of ten minutes each. And, while, of course, I won't give away the murderer, I will say that the whole case is solved in the first few minutes of the first act. Or.. is it? Because, you see, there are a few minutes of darkness - deliberate, part of the plot - during which some strange sounds are heard. But I defy you to solve the mystery just on the evidence of your ears during that sequence!

It's a good story, and Poirot is given some witty turns of phrase. The sets and costumes are fantastic. However, the play overall isn't up to the standard of some of her other works, and neither are the plot twists. The actor playing Poirot is no David Suchet, but does his best with lines that are sometimes plodding - I felt myself nodding off during some of his lengthier speeches. And the young lady playing the Italian damsel in distress is a tad too overwrought - maybe with the effort of having to maintain a faux accent for so long! But it's enjoyable, for people who are into the classic murder mystery genre. Not so enjoyable, mind you, for the baby that we heard squalling over the other side of the theatre. Runs until Saturday.

I had a much easier journey home, of course, despite the play running 15 minutes late - wasn't on the platform for 10 seconds when my train pulled in: one that stopped at Clapham Junction, where I arrived just in good time for the next Overground train. Had I missed that one, it would have been a 45-minute wait for the last one of the night! And no problem getting a seat on either of them. Tomorrow, I should get around to seeing Edge of Tomorrow, finally - the one where Emily Blunt gets to shoot Tom Cruise in the head. As many times as she wants! Cool.. and I have a voucher. And I can walk there, which is a relief..!

Film: Lakshmi

I'm always worried about highly rated Indian films - they're generally overrated. Same goes for films about worthy causes, good projects and so on - the rating tends to reflect the worthiness of the subject matter, not the quality of the film. But I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt, which is why I went to see Lakshmi today - the opening gala film of the London Asian Film Festival, showing at the Tricycle. Subject matter: based on real-life stories, this film tells the story of a 13-year-old girl, kidnapped from her village and sold to a brothel in Hyderabad.

I've been to the Tricycle a couple of times before, and took the Overground straight there. Unfortunately, it was closed today - planned engineering works. As my flatmate remarked when I complained to him, it's always the Overground or the District Line! Well, my alternative route was to trek to Earl's Court again and take the Piccadilly Line - again - to Green Park, then change to the Jubilee Line, and take that to Kilburn. Which is just up the road from the Overground station I would normally have gone to. So, not that much extra trouble, except for the change of trains, and the extra charge for going through Zone 1. Mind you, I was lucky - the Jubilee Line was out of action until 11 o'clock this morning!

Again, I had time for a banana before I left. And thus began a long journey - nearly an hour. Kilburn, when I got there, was bathed in sunlight - temperatures seem to be recovering again. The closer entrance to the Tricycle is the rear entrance, so I missed coming in on the red carpet they'd laid down! There were also posters, information leaflets, and some women who'd made a real effort, wearing elaborate saris and shalwar kameez. And they'd laid on free snacks and wine! Now, that's what I call a film festival! So I had a bhaji and a small glass of wine - figured I'd better not have too much, given that my food of the day so far had consisted of a banana and a bhaji!

When the screen opened, I took my seat, which was lovely and comfy. It occurred to me that the only previous time I've been in the cinema part of this complex was for a Jewish film festival. Well, I suppose it would take a festival to get me up here for a film! Anyhow, after some brief speechifying, the lights darkened. And after protracted advertising for Oxfam, the film finally began.

In short, it's overrated. It's an ok film, but not a great film. The acting is pretty ho-hum in general, the direction is lacking. Which is a real pity, because the story is gripping, and the film does pick up as the tension ratchets up towards the end. You can see where they were going with this - they just didn't quite get there. It deserves its 18 rating all right, for the abuse scenes, and it's almost a good film. Just, as I say, not quite. And I didn't bother to stay for the director's Q+A.

I ate in Nando's on the way back, as I usually do when I'm in Kilburn. I love the fact that, no matter how often you use your points to get free food, they never take them away! They just keep increasing. So that was a cheap meal then - just pay for a drink and sides. Mind you, this branch is primarily for takeaways, which is what the staff focus on - I was left waiting more than half an hour for my food, and when it arrived, the mash was almost cold. Meantime, with my phone battery dead and not having thought to bring reading material, I was left with nothing more to do than stare at all the tables that hadn't been cleared yet. And weren't, while I was waiting. Neither did anyone come to me while I was eating, to ask me how it was - as they're supposed to. You're supposed to order dessert at your table, and I would have - but didn't fancy my chances of anyone ever coming near me, so I just left.

Guildford tomorrow, an early start and a late return, so I won't be going to anything tomorrow night. Top of my film list for Tuesday is a sci-fi, unusually - nice to see a good one released. Edge of Tomorrow is rating consistently highly, and showing in my local cinema, goodee. The ones with an unusual plot tend to rate highly, and to be good - this one has Tom Cruise fighting the alien invaders, but apparently there's some facility whereby he can go back and do it again and again till he gets it right, a la Groundhog Day. Emily Blunt is his trainer, or something, who keeps making him do it over until it works out. In order to repeat, however, he has to die. So she has the job of shooting him in the head, if something else doesn't get him first. What fun! We can all vicariously live out our kill-Tom-Cruise fantasies! And apparently he takes it all in good humour. There is, apparently, as one reviewer described it, a completely unnecessary sexual frisson between them, but it doesn't distract too much. We also have Bill Paxton as his master sergeant, and Brendan Gleeson as the general. Sounds like fun..