Tonight, I booked with London Science Events for a talk at the Royal Society on Why Philosophy of Science Matters to Science. Then, of course, I remembered I had a meeting at 5.30! Doors open at 6, and you have to be there well in advance to secure entry. Blast. Well, the other Meetup events that appealed were either also on too early, or didn't have any decent tickets left. So I thought film. The one that came top looks decent - but its closest showing is in Cineworld Wandsworth, which used to be my local but is now a bit of a trek for a film I'm not that pushed about. Which has slipped in ratings anyway, since I last looked (that was quick)! Anyway, in the meantime, I got an email from Londonist.. and something coming up for tonight looked attractive, so I booked it. So I was now going to Tales from the Phantasmagoria, in the Old Red Lion. Improvised horror comedy, we have three souls on stage who find themselves in hell and have to figure out how they got there. Sounded different.. and I might even manage to walk there. Despite it being uphill!
Sure enough, my meeting didn't finish till after 6. I did a wee bit of work - honestly, I never seem to do more than scratch the surface these days. Decided to try walking, and left in enough time that I could take it a bit easy - I also had my Oyster card with me, just in case. And lo, uphill (gently) all the way, and I only had to stop once for slight breathlessness! Even then, I took it easier than I needed to. No, the real problem was my left leg - woke this morning to awful stiffness and soreness in my calf, and it's remained painful to stand or walk on all day. Improves when I'm walking, although God, the pain when I stop! Maybe it's after yesterday's exertions. So it was with relief - and no small sense of accomplishment - that I finally saw the Old Red Lion ahead of me - easily spottable as the red building.
The box office is at the back of the bar, and I checked with her whether my downloaded ticket on my phone was ok. Nope, I had to pick up one of their envelopes, with a number in the queue for hell on one side, name and funding address of the theatre company on the other:
Cutesy! Well, despite it being close to time, there was no sign of the barrier being drawn back from the stairs to the theatre, so I got myself a house white, and had time to sip enough to make it safe to take upstairs before it was time to do so. I'm terrible at not spilling at the best of times! They do allow glasses in the theatre, they just ask that you bring them down again. I was fairly exhausted by the time I got up there, with one thing and another, so ended up in the front row, for the sake of not climbing any more stairs! It's a small space, but was pretty full.
So, we started off with two guys on stage, dressed in black, heads wrapped loosely in wrapping paper. (Breathing holes included.) Our smarmy mc appeared - and looked terribly familiar! I swear, he looked just like the mc of those free comedy groups I stopped going to. He was our guide demon to hell. Well, he had the coolest book light - i.e. a book with an interior light - which he consulted to see what these guys had been accused of. Oops, no entry! So, he gave us some suggestions - snippets of "memories", and we had to provide suggestions. Happily, there were enough people in the audience to get them going! They then re-enacted the most ridiculous scenarios.
I swear, this was some good improv - it does take talent to make it look anything other than silly. And these guys - who were obviously improvising, surprising each other at times - were really innovative, so that it was actually quite funny. I also liked that, in the spirit of celebrating our "deathday", the mc passed around a chocolate caterpillar cake! I scored a huge slice..
We started with a story about a fellow wanting to kill his mum in a brioche bakery, who runs into Liam Neeson - great Irish accent from that guy. Then there was one about a penguin and a guy who wanted to fly, and whose mother became a hippy. The royal wedding kept popping up as a suggestion, but they blithely ignored it. A third story featured a stripper and a mackerel..Three stories with the cast were followed by one where they asked for a volunteer, who was so perky he must have been a plant - he played the priest who married Donald Trump to Skippy the Kangaroo. (Yes, that was the tone of the evening.) Surprisingly good, as I say.
Now, at the end of this section, which lasted over an hour, the mc dispatched us to the bar, with the parting comment that we had commenced our introduction to hell. I don't actually know whether this was an interval - I hadn't caught what the lady at the box office had said. However, I really didn't fancy more of the same, and perhaps being caught up personally in it! I didn't think I'd get any more out of it, so after a wee rest for my leg, and having checked Google Maps, I walked home - downhill now, mercifully. Mind you, I see that Google Maps is very selective about its advertisement of supermarkets! When I was checking to see what was en route, Tesco and Waitrose were mentioned, Nisa and Sainsbury's not. You have been warned..
Delighted to be in early again. Tomorrow, my £3.60 club had tickets for a Beethoven cycle in the Barbican! Sadly, they'd sold out - but that didn't stop me buying my own ticket from the venue, although it cost more. Still, Beethoven is my favourite, so..
On Wednesday, Eleanor is back with a Flamenco evening at Sand's Films, olé! Advertised via the London European Club, booked through TunedIn London. Ah, it'll be so good to get back there again!
On Thursday, back with London Literary Walks, which are getting more frequent again - this week, it's Krays, Chaucer and Matches.. And then I'm back to Ireland for the long weekend.
For today, I found another Southwark tour - excellent! The "Family Friendly Liberty of the Clink" tour is run by Walking in London.. therefore Funzing.. and it's also the official Londonist tour, as it happens. Hard to keep track of everyone involved in walks! The standard code (crazy_fun) was giving 10% off on Funzing's website when I booked, and last I looked it was LoveFun. The weather was supposed to have warmed up by today. Not as long a lie-in as yesterday, but I was to bed early.
So I woke in plenty of time, and headed out early. Catching my bus was a bit unnerving, as it happened to be leaving from Farringdon Road, where roadworks meant diversions some weeks back, when my bus never came and I was late for my event! TFL, of course, was unsympathetic - apparently they had some web page where it was mentioned (although not the route map page). Same blasted bus today, too. And, of course, the roadworks were still there.. well, I located the temporary stop (quite a ways from the original) and checked my Bus Countdown app, which said it was due shortly. And hallelujah, there it was!
Alighting on the south bank, I headed for The Boot & Flogger, where we were to meet. Hey, it's the pub right across from Crossbones Graveyard! Nobody there - but I was quite early. I hadn't eaten before coming out, so I nipped in to see whether they could accommodate me - sure enough, a packet of quite spicy sweet chilli crisps was produced by a very friendly bar staff. Lovely, dark-wooded decor in there, as well - I'd love to come back some time.
And so, back outside, where I ate the crisps, and even found a bin for the wrapper. In between blowing my nose - this blasted cold is taking forever to clear, and the day wasn't as warm as I'd hoped! Anyhoo, I'd done all that, and it was getting close to time, when the guide popped up behind me. Anthony, with a hat.. ah jeez, that brings back fond memories! No, this wasn't the Man with the Hat though - another man entirely, with a hat similar to one I had, years ago. So we chatted, and discovered we live in the same borough, and were rabbiting away when the others arrived - a Romanian couple. And - that was pretty much it - apart from a mudlarker, apparently a friend of the guide's, who arrived last, at which point we began.
Just as we were setting off, we ran into, of all things, the Southwark's Saucy Secrets tour! Gosh, I was on the same one myself, some months back. Turns out the guides know each other, and indeed are both on the same Blue Badge Guide course. Well, ain't London a small place after all! Now, as for saucy - ours was the "family friendly" tour, but as there were no kids along today, he did let us in on some of the more salacious secrets of the neighbourhood.
A former director of the Museum of London, he imparted a lot of history.. I was intrigued by the former names of the backstreets of Southwark (before the Victorians made them more respectable, naming them after Dickens characters, for goodness' sake!), and jealous of Winchester cottages, apparently inhabited by London's firefighters - quite sensibly. It was at around this time that the guide took a bomb out of his bag.. no, literally, he had an old incendiary bomb, part of the casing removed so we could see the innards! You don't get that on every tour.
More photos here. Not content with the bomb, he had, of course, brought along his friend - who had a treasure trove to show us in a plastic box, things he'd found while mudlarking.. pity the weather took that moment to pour rain upon us! With me sniffling and coughing away, the guide kept asking me whether I wanted a pair of gloves, or a bodywarmer - no, I was ok, although I could have done with both, to be honest! Meantime, we were examining bits of a mediaeval knight's armour..
Truly, a unique feature of this walk was the mudlarking aspect. Anyway, by now we were by the Globe, and a house where Sir Christopher Wren apparently stayed. And Catherine of Aragon sheltered on her first night in England. Probably not in this exact residence, however, considering it was built in 1710!
A choice, then - Victorians or earlier. The unanimous vote was for earlier - and we ended up at the Clink, and at the palace of the Bishops of Winchester. And thus we ended, with an enthusiastic round of applause, and wended our ways home - the guide on the same bus as me, as it happened! Excellent walk - the mudlarking, and the bomb, particular highlights.
Glad to be in for the night, so early! Tomorrow, London European Club is headed to Monologue Slam, an actors' showcase at the Theatre Royal, Stratford East.
On Tuesday, Up in the Cheap Seats is at Sadler's Wells for a performance by Ballet British Colombia.
On Wednesday, Let's Do This is off to a jazz evening at Two Temple Place. Beautiful venue - should be a lovely evening.
On Thursday, Walking Victorian London is running a walk around Il Quartiere - Tales from Italian Clerkenwell. Excellent - I've had my eye on that for a while.
On Friday, Helen's in town, so we're headed for lunch, somewhere TBD. In the evening, I'm back to Ireland for the weekend again.
And on the 12th, London Dramatic Arts is at Caroline, or Change, at Hampstead Theatre. As usual, too expensive for me, and I got my own ticket, at about half the price. She's only going with one unnamed guest - maybe she won't go at all!
I was all set to go to a film tonight.. but then I checked a site Helen had put me onto - Londonist - and came across something that sounded fantastic. A place called Shop Revolution Marketplace was holding a Spanish evening called Desvalidas, with guitar music, poetry, and tapas. I was so there! I was delighted to get a pretty immediate response from the venue that yes, they still had tickets.
Turned out to be a 'mare to get to. It's far enough away - about an hour, whatever way I travel - that there are several travel options. The first problem I had was the address - Sydenham Road: but there are two of those! both on the south of the city. I spent a considerable amount of time on the wrong one. When I finally realised my mistake, I had to start planning all over.. well, at least I was doing it in advance!
The simplest option seemed to be a train from Victoria. After this, Google Maps and I disagreed - but not at first. No, I faithfully recorded their instructions to take a Southeastern service to Penge East, and wind my way through housing estates for 15 minutes until I came to Sydenham Road. When I checked the way back, however, they were sending me on a Southern service from the (much closer) Sydenham station, further up Sydenham Road. Huh? Did this train line not work both ways? I checked their website: yes, they did. I made a note of the times, and determined to come that way. I've complained to Google Maps - which may or may not do any good.
In the event, it was as well I recorded both routes. I left a bit late for the train I wanted, and although the Tube did an unusually good job of getting me to Victoria quickly - arrived just as I did, no hanging around at Earl's Court for once - I was just too late for the train I'd planned to get to Sydenham. Faced with a half hour wait for the next one, I perused the departure boards - and remembered my alternative route, for which a train was leaving in five minutes! And so I took the Southeastern to Penge East, after all.
It was a scorcher of an afternoon, and all the carriage windows were open, which provided a nice breeze. As we left town, the countryside got greener, until we arrived in Penge East, with rolling green hills on the horizon. I swear, the air was fresher too! Well, that wouldn't be hard. I made a note of the names of the roads I had to take, and after my thorough research earlier, it was all quite easy. Along the way, I noticed advertising for properties for sale in the area. Lordy, so much cheaper than I'm used to..
I was early, so decided to find Sydenham station first, so I wouldn't have to be searching for it late at night. I trudged up the hill of Sydenham Road, and was despairing of it until I checked the maps app on my phone and saw it was literally around the next corner. It's not far at all really. When I was happy I knew where it was, I turned around and down the hill I went again, in search of this venue.
I'd have been in some confusion if I hadn't had my confusion earlier on. See, I couldn't find it on Streetview. So I did an image search for the name, and discovered a photo that included the two shops on either side. Which were on Streetview - obviously, this one was a new addition. So I came to it eventually. It looks just like a café - which is what it is - and I wasn't sure where the gig was on. I entered with some trepidation through the open door, sidestepped some people chatting in front, and approached the till at the back, where I guessed the boss was. Sure enough, there she was behind the till, took my money, and indicated that I should take a seat at the nearby table.
Seriously, it was in this tiny space? Well, ok - so that lady with the guitar was actually the entertainment, and it seemed I was the first to arrive. There was some crusty bread on the table, and she promised we'd get tapas later. Then the young person she'd been chatting to approached me with a programme, and a small brown envelope, which it turned out contained a nametag. I was rather pleased to get "Ernest Hemingway".
Other people gradually arrived and were given nametags. I must say, my table were a lovely, friendly bunch, and included one Spaniard. Also at our table was the boyfriend of the person who'd given me the programme and envelope - who turned out to be a boy, with an appearance feminine enough that I'd thought it was a girl. And this lad was, apparently, going to provide "interruptions". We were promised more envelopes, and told that they would contain instructions, which we must follow!
Mind you, that was all to come - we were being fed first. It was all taking so long that I began to get worried about my train home. I started on wine, but as the other women at the table were having cava, so did I. The tapas themselves were nothing special, but ok. The drinks were served by an enthusiastic and amused-looking lad, who looked too young to be allowed to drink them himself.
Finally, finally, the music and poetry started. We got to listen to a bit of it before yer man came around with another batch of envelopes and started handing them to people. Each contained an instruction. "Cover your ears with your hands." What?! Well, that was just lovely. My hands were getting numb by the time he gave me another instruction, and a pen - which I was to click continuously. As the lady beside me remarked, it was like being a tester in a pen factory. Then they started blowing bubbles. Bloody performance art.
The one activity I did enjoy was to screw up a sheet of blue paper and throw it across the room. I got piles of it! The one I really didn't enjoy was when I had to cover my eyes, so I didn't know what was going on. And I got left like that for ages - when he did come around, he apologised. As the evening progressed, the instructions got progressively more rowdy - people had to shout, people had to "use the objects on the table to distract the performers".
What did they perform? (There was a performance of music and poetry as well, you'll recall.) I have the programme to tell me - otherwise, I'd have no idea. I could hardly hear any of it. As the lady beside me remarked - we could have been at the pictures, instead of this! Nether of us had had any idea what was going to happen - there was nothing about it in the ad. At least, at the end, the poet explained that the idea was to mimic the Spanish Civil War, which degenerated from harmony into disharmony. Oh right, I get it now. I feel so enlightened.
And then we got a rather tasty cake, and as soon as I'd paid for my drinks I got the hell out of there. It was such a relief not to have to smile any more - they were such sweet and lovely people, and I hated it all so very much. The time I left at, I knew I'd be waiting for a train - but it was a mild night, and I was desperate to get away. Ironically, as I sat on the platform, the performers passed me on their way to the other platform, and thanked me profusely (again) for coming. Yeah, good night, and goodbye.
The train was full of drunks, late on a Friday night. One guy started lurching around the seats, introducing himself drunkenly to the lone female passengers, so at the next stop I hopped out and into another carriage, before he got to me. And when I disembarked, it was quite chilly. I pitied the girl walking in the opposite direction, who from a distance looked naked from the waist down (turned out she was wearing quite short shorts). I was glad to get home.
For tomorrow, I found a new Meetup group - I'm amazed I wasn't already a member. London For Less! is offering discounted tickets to a candlelit classical concert in Southwark Cathedral. Ah, that's better! And hopefully, not a bubble in sight.. the organiser seems quite conscientious - the only thing I have to watch for is planned closure for engineering works. I think I'll manage.
