So, along I schlepped, in good time - I needed to pop into the chemist's first, so caught the bus at Tottenham Court Road. Found my way to the New Moon pub, in the City:
..where most of the clientele seemed to be stood outside, under Leadenhall Market. Spotted our group pretty quickly and said hi, then made my exit; I needed the loo. Lordy, it took me some time to find it - gents were right there, but for ladies! Through to the other side of the bar, down the stairs (tricky if drunk) to another bar area (empty, in contrast to the bedlam upstairs), and along to the far end - a guess on my part, as no toilets were visible. Ladies were the further of the two doors available. Am I exaggerating by thinking that this is a side-effect of masculine City culture..? I was relieved, at last, to perch on a chipped seat..
Got a drink, rejoined the group, who were just on the point of heading up - you can take drinks in. The theatre entrance is just around the corner, on the main street. Lots and lots of stairs - the theatre appears to be in the attic of what is a tall building. And the queue stretched down the stairs - well, at least it meant we ascended at a leisurely pace.
Once inside - firstly, a raised entrance that no-one had warned us about. Then it turned out we had to cross the stage - lovely - passing, en route, oddly dressed figures spouting gibberish randomly and feigning smoking cigarettes. And dodge criss-crossing strings attached to the walls. The place was almost full, and we squeezed through small gaps - seating was on individual chairs, which had been moved around, blocking the "aisle". There was almost no lighting, so I could barely see where I was going, and was lucky not to fall on the steps. Oh, and it was sweltering - I should have taken one of the free bottles of water available at the door. No aircon, of course.
Christ, it was awful. Just one lady left early - perhaps in disgust, perhaps it was just heatstroke: but how I envied her! I was on the inside of a row - it'd never have worked. I was gratified, afterwards, to discover that all our group felt the same; we pretty much lost the will to live, during this show. And I wasn't the only one to give up watching and just spend most of the show staring at the floor - for one thing, it was one way to avoid that God-awful light, which was directed, full-blast, sporadically at the audience and was absolutely blinding. At first, it seemed an effective - if highly uncomfortable - way of changing scene: later, they seemed to turn it on randomly. And frequently.
In short, there were doll-babies hanging from the strings, there was a "crow pie" attached to the wall, later to be removed, revealing repeated lines stating "The pie is gone". People appeared in masks - of bears, which someone afterwards suggested might have been meant to represent Russia: and there was a chicken mask, which I presume was a reference to the recent protests in the States. There was a cartoonishly made-up cowboy, Rufus, who tried on a variety of headgear, from a cowboy hat to crowns. Everybody carried a gun. As I stared at the floor, there was a lot of screeching.
It wasn't so bad it was funny - although some found it so. Perhaps they laughed out of politeness. It was absolutely pretentious, art school shite, and any meaning that it had was completely lost in its absolute absurdity. As I exclaimed to my companion upon leaving, never, in my entire life, have I harboured an ambition equal to leaving that room! Christ, is this the standard of entertainment they are used to in the City?! Are their lives so empty that this is what passes for entertainment? I'll think twice - and twice more - before coming to this "theatre" again. I mostly pity those who paid full price..
This not being a group of people that favours after-show drinks, we wended our way home - although it was a bit nippy, the very last thing I wanted to do after escaping that sauna was to put on my coat. Fortunately, my bus came straight away, and of course, I was early enough to shop and eat. Glad to put that awful show behind me.
Tomorrow, another Camden Fringe double bill with Up in the Cheap Seats: Ego, in The Lion and Unicorn, and The Trial of Le Singe, in The Water Rats. Hell, it has to be better than tonight - can't be worse!
On Thursday, I'm headed to a rather interesting talk on Bodysnatching in Southwark! Mary, too.. and it's a funny thing, all the tickets were gone when I first saw it, but then I checked again on spec, and more were available! Lucky. As advertised by Walks, Talks and Treasure Hunts - but they're not running it, tickets are available on Eventbrite, and are free. I see London Social Detours are going too. Then I'm back to Ireland again for the weekend.
On Monday, I'm off to see Jesus Christ Superstar, finally! At the open-air theatre in Regent's Park - again, I hope it doesn't rain.
Next Tuesday, my first talk with Scarlet Ladies UK (!). Their stated aim is to abolish the stigma of talking about sex.. so they have a load of talks. This one is about the history of slut-shaming.
On the 23rd, I was back with Jennifer Rees (and the same two Meetup Funzing groups again), for a talk about the Psychology of Serial Killers. This is at least the third instance of this talk - I was booked for one last month, but had to cancel - it clashed with the trip to the Icebar. The next was sold out - and then I saw this one and booked, at last! It's on the Battersea Barge, of all places! Just a 10% discount this time - I see the latest code for that is crazy_fun. And gee, guess what.. London Literary Walks just advertised a Regent's Park Walk for that day! Guess I'll never make this talk..!
On the 24th, back with Up in the Cheap Seats for Lady Day at Emerson's Bar and Grill, a musical about the life of Billie Holiday. Nice and close to me, at Wyndham's. Passed it the other evening, in fact.
On the 25th, back with the same group (!) for yet another Camden Fringe double bill: Boris - the Musical! at the Cockpit again (the London European Club - LEC - are also going to this), and Make Advena Great Again, at Camden People's Theatre. Goodness, that's only a short walk from home..
On the 26th, I'm back to the Proms for the first time in years! Funnily enough, it was inspired by a Meetup group - Gothic Requiem London (!). This is the "Gothic Prom", you see - all the composers are Czech (Bohemian). Now, I'm no Goth - but the Proms sound like a great idea.
On the 27th, I'm off on a day trip to Bath, with Carpe Diem: booked while I was in Barcelona, recently.
On the 28th, the organiser of Walks, Talks & Treasure Hunts promised Helen and me free tickets to a treasure hunt she was organising that day - in recompense for that treasure hunt, not run by her but advertised by her, where the organisers never showed, and instead marked us as no-shows. However, the event on the 28th still hasn't been advertised, and what with severe engineering works at Waterloo for the whole month, Helen's not sure she can make it at all. We shall see.
On the 29th, I'm off to see Five Guys Named Moe, at the Marble Arch Theatre - a pop-up, it seems! From the Box Office provided the best deal on this occasion.
On the 30th, back with Up in the Cheap Seats, for Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, at the Apollo (although booking is with the Young Vic), with Sienna Miller, Colm Meaney, and nudity. Cheapest tickets this time were with LoveTheatre.
On the 31st, back with those two Funzing groups. This time, the talk is entitled "Can You Trust the Media?", and is given by Annie Machon, who gave an interesting talk last month on Russian Hacking. Another 30% discount. I just wish she'd use some visual aids.. At the Lighthouse again, terrific. :-/ Then I'm back to Ireland for the weekend again.
On the 4th September, I'm finally going to see Dreamgirls, at the Savoy, courtesy of Amazon Tickets.
On the 5th September, I was back with the Scarlet Ladies for a talk on Generation Sex. Until Let's Do This advertised a concert that sounds really good.. at the Apples & Pears Bar. Hey, I do allow myself to change if something sounds better..
On the 6th September, I'm with another new group - North London Friends - for an interview with Michael Palin, at the Knowledge Centre Theatre at the British Library. I was really torn, though - the LEC is off to an early music concert the same night, and I do love that - but had already booked this, and it is Michael Palin. Hey-ho..
On the 7th September, back with North London Friends, and another talk on Fake News - different speaker, mind! This is the Fulbright Commission annual lecture, at the British Library.
On the 8th September, until the other day I was still technically booked for free comedy in Hammersmith with DiscoverLDN.UK. But, as I say - good atmosphere, but the comedy is usually pretty bad. I was saved - again - by Up in the Cheap Seats, who are off to see Doubt, a Parable, in Southwark Playhouse. Aww.. it's so long since I was there, and I have so many good memories of it from my time with the Man with the Hat!
On the 9th September, Helen and I have our 25km sponsored walk, in aid of Haslemere's Cat Protection Society. We're going as Dick Whittington and his cat, respectively, and the route is the Thames Bridges Trek. You can donate here..
Which will tire me out nicely, just in time for my flight to Prague the next morning! I'm at a conference there, Sunday to Tuesday. (What a nice company I work for!) Gee, but I love Prague - most beautiful city I've ever seen, and I've seen a few. They're putting me up at a nice hotel too, just down the road.
So, I fly back on the 12th September, and on the 13th I'm back with Up in the Cheap Seats, at Sadler's Wells, for the Hofesh Schechter Company grand finale.
On the 14th September, I'm at another talk with Walks, Talks and Treasure Hunts - this one, at Southwark Cathedral, is about the River Effra, South London's Secret Spine. Another free Eventbrite event, this is to publicise a book about the subject, and the talk is again given by the author. Another thing that had no tickets, then it did! Then I'm back to Ireland for the weekend again.
On the 18th September, I'm off to Showstopper! at the Lyric. Ticket courtesy of From the Box Office again. I have actually seen this before - but, being an improvised musical, it literally is different every time!
On the 19th September, back with the Scarlet Ladies, for a talk entitled 100 Women - Their Breasts, Their Stories.
On the 20th September, Funzing (same two groups) and Jennifer Rees again - this time, a fun talk about the Psychology of Batman Villains! The first of hers for which I managed to get a 30% discount.. and it's on nice and close to me again. Seems to be a feature of her talks!
On the 21st September, technically, free comedy in Hammersmith - with Free Comedy Nights in Hammersmith, Wimbledon and Greenwich, Random London, and DiscoverLDN.UK. And on the 22nd September, the same - with DiscoverLDN.UK. I rather doubt it though - don't you?
On the 23rd September, I was to do the same, but am now headed to the launch of Rob Luft's new album, Riser, at King's Place. As advertised by The London Jazz Meetup. I finally ended up paying their membership fee after booking an event with them the other day, for November, which someone is attending that I know. So I figured it was wiser!
I had booked the same free comedy, with the same group, on the 24th September, but was again saved - this time, by the World Music Meetup! They're off to see Kefaya, in Nell's Jazz and Blues bar, back in my old stomping ground of North End Road! Happy days, when I was working there..
On the 25th September, a group called Theatre and Stuff is off to see Prism, at Hampstead Theatre. They're charging extra to go with them, though - so I happily bought my own ticket. What the hey, odds are I won't know any of them anyway.
On the 26th September, I'm back with Up in the Cheap Seats - to see Wings, at The Young Vic. Accidentally booked standing, I think.. :-/
On the 27th September, with Up in the Cheap Seats again - for Jekyll & Hyde, presented by the National Youth Theatre, at the Ambassadors Theatre.
On the 28th September, with another new group: London, Surrey and Beyond.. for an event called "A Unique Experience. Olde Pub, Gerry's Private Club, 2 'i's Famous Fish 'n' Chips". Which says it all, really! Then it's back to Ireland for the weekend again.
On the 2nd October, I had booked at Hampstead Theatre, for No One Will Tell Me How to Start a Revolution. North London Friends are attending - and charging extra, so I was going it alone! But now it turns out I'm spending the week in the Stockholm office - back on the 8th.
On the 3rd October, it was free comedy in Hammersmith - nominally. With Free Comedy Nights in Hammersmith, Wimbledon and Greenwich. So, that was easy to cancel, for Stockholm!
On the 4th October was Up in the Cheap Seats and Labour of Love, with Martin Freeman, at the Noel Coward Theatre. Cheapest tickets from the venue, for once!
On the 5th October, same group - headed to see the Company Wayne McGregor, at Sadler's Wells.
And finally! on the 6th October, headed to see Chekhov's The Seagull, at the Lyric. Third night in a row for that group - almost as busy a group as I am a person! So, four things in all I had to cancel, without refund.. what the hey, I'll doubtless be saving money in Stockholm!
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