Play: My Night With Reg

I'd been expecting to go to Guildford today, but the meeting was cancelled. So I found myself at the last minute looking for something to do. Meetup wasn't appealing, so I trawled through Time Out. At least booking at the last minute meant I could navigate their atrocious search engine with minimal effort - I did a search for "Tomorrow", and soon came across some things that interested me. First was A View From the Bridge, but tickets were pricey, and when I checked YouTube to see whether I could catch a clip on there to determine whether it was worth it, I discovered the whole play is available to watch. For free.

So I scrolled on, and came to My Night With Reg - despite the many offers available in this, the last week of its run, the cheapest tickets were available through the Nimax website (and what's up with the LoveTheatre site? Every time recently that I've tried to search for availability for a particular show, it hangs..) The cheapest tickets were marked as "Restricted View", but I caught a seat review that said the view was fine. So I booked one.

Well, I should know where the Apollo Shaftesbury is - I passed it last night! So I took the Tube to Piccadilly Circus. I did leave it a bit tight.. the District Line is always slow, but tonight even the Piccadilly Line seemed to be travelling at a relaxed pace, and by the time I alighted, I knew I was pushing it. Thank goodness I had a good idea where I was going - take the exit for Shaftesbury Avenue, and when you come to street level, double back, cross the road, and head right. By this stage, I could actually see the billboard. Try hurrying in that crowd though..

I arrived at the theatre 1 minute late, by my watch - but there was nobody there. Gosh, they start on time! In my fluster, I forgot I had a Print at Home ticket, and gave the poor guy at the box office a start, trying to find my ticket. When I eventually sorted that out and entered the lobby, a very polite usher explained that they'd already started (!) but he'd take me in in 10 minutes. And here was a synopsis. (Yes, they have a synopsis of the start of the play - titled "For Latecomers". Laminated.)

He then started to lead me downstairs to the bar. I was willing enough until I realised it was three flights down! Hold on here. "I don't have to come all the way up here again, do I?" "I'm afraid you do." Well now, that was ridiculous, given that I'd have to climb more stairs from the lobby to get to my seat. I asked whether I could wait in the lobby, and he seemed most surprised, but said I could if I wanted. And I got to sit in the ushers' chair, and read my synopsis.

Now, writing is my stock in trade, and I think I can say with some authority that this synopsis was one of the worse written pieces I've come across. It comprised an A4 page, most of which was taken up with one long paragraph. The best thing I can say about it is that it was spelt correctly. I had to give it back when I went in, so have to rely on memory now - but it went something like this (ahem):

Gary has a flatwarming, to which he invites John, who nearly doesn't come. But he does. They were at college together, but their third college chum, Daniel, is away on business and can't make it. But his partner Reg can. Gary fancies John, John doesn't know. Bennie and Bernie are a couple that Gary knows and John doesn't, and they're coming too. And then there's Eric, who's painting the conservatory, and Gary is pissed off that he's going too slowly. Finally, Daniel shows up after all because his flight got delayed!

Follow that? (The original was longer.) I had to read it three times to get who was who, so I'd know when I went in. Meantime, I admired the ornate lobby - shame my phone was at home charging and I didn't have my camera, because this would have been lovely to photograph. Not a piece of peeling paint in sight. Finally, a bell rang faintly in the distance somewhere, and the usher took back my synopsis and led me upstairs, explaining (in hushed tones) that my seat was right over the end, and I'd have to squeeze past lots of people, so if there was a free seat near the back I could sit there instead. Fair enough.

There was, and I did. When I spied where my original seat was, I could see it was right against the wall - I'd thought there'd be an aisle there. As it was, I had a much better seat - much more central, and with no-one in front of me so I could swing my legs into the aisle. So there I stayed - but actually, the view from my original seat would probably have been fine, from what I could see - sightlines are quite good in the Dress Circle. I was glad of the extra legroom though - I think my original seat would have been quite cramped. As it was, my seat was strangely uncomfortable, and I had a very sore bottom at the end of this nearly two-hour-long show (without interval).

It's a beautiful theatre, no doubt about it - all gilt, with plush red upholstery. If you go, make sure to take a camera. I also had a peek at the ceiling that famously collapsed last year during a performance - it was covered with a painted screen tonight; I guess they're still working on it. I don't think they'd sat anyone in the Grand Circle, by the way.. the Dress Circle was quite packed, and I suspect that was because people had been upgraded from upstairs.

And so to the show. I don't think I missed much in the first 10 minutes. It's not a huge spoiler to say that Reg, who appears in the play only by mention, has slept with every character in it - except our host, Gary (the nerdy one on the advertising). Now, this play has a big build-up on the posters etc. "The perfect British comedy of manners... tender and consistently funny." "Outrageously sharp-witted."

Hmm.

Well, when I came in, they were making silly gay jokes. The audience was laughing along, and I was looking at the audience, perplexed. The actors were having drinks, and made a toast "To sodomy!" The audience tittered. Five minutes later, another toast: "To indecent exposure!" Tee-hee-hee. Oh dear, this is "perfect British comedy"? No wonder it's not renowned as a comedic nation..

There wasn't an interval that might have prompted me to leave, and it did improve, in my opinion, when they stopped trying to be funny. "Sharp-witted" my arse. At least there was no slapstick. People do die of AIDS during the play, and there are tender moments. And I do believe I laughed twice. Sadly, remove any pretence at comedy and there's not much of a plot either. Such jokes as there were, I found infantile (someone asks Guy for a hug and he backs against the wall in horror. Hilarious.) Nah, didn't think much of it really - just a bunch of guys sleeping around, no real moral to the story, no real pathos until the end. The highlight for me, actually, was when they started playing "Starman" by David Bowie on the record player (the play is set 20 years ago). Oh, and there's a scene of gratuitous nudity, where the two cast members that are obviously ripped get their kit off. All of it. Nice of them.

Anyway, it's running till Saturday if you're interested. Feel free to get the cheapie tix on the Nimax site.

Tomorrow, back to Meetup - unless I feel decrepit or the weather turns to custard. The Walk About London group is meeting on a walk from Westminster Bridge to London Bridge, to see the lights of the City. Forgot my camera, but my phone's charged now..