Hey-ho, we others set off at about 5:30. It was going to take about half an hour to get to Shoreditch - I'd have taken the bus if it'd just been me, but what with one guy's tendency to car sickness, we were on the Tube. Northern Line to Embankment, District Line to Aldgate East. Ah, the nostalgia of the District Line.. a nice line, really, with more spacious carriages than many of the others.
At Aldgate East, a beggar earned a couple of quid giving us directions at a large crossroads with absolutely no direction signs. And we were soon on Brick Lane. A combination of it being Thursday rather than Monday, and that there were a number of us, perhaps - but whereas I only got propositioned once going down here last time, this time we had nine offers. "Best curry in London - just come in and try!" It might have been 10 - there was one standing outside Cinnamon as well - but we'd already decided to go there, based on generally good reviews. So we went in.
Not yet busy, this early, they gave us a table near the bar - best seat in the house, the barman assured us! I was the only one having wine, this time - and they did take their time about getting it. Otherwise, service was prompt, and the food was good - I had lamb samosas (quite spicy), my usual butter chicken (delicious!), and peshwari naan that was ok, if a bit burnt. And we were all well fed. No time for dessert - by the time we'd finished, it was about time to head to Rich Mix.
Busy road crossed, wrists stamped at the box office, we headed into the main space - a pity it was on there, as there tends to be a better view upstairs, and less chance of noise from outside encroaching on the show. Anyway, by the time we arrived, the central section was pretty full, so we headed over the side for more space. Got a few seats, got drinks at the bar, and we were set. A pillar in our view, but we were ok.
What a surprise to see the MC, Ben Haggerty, out of his usual black! In fact, I had to do a double-take to make sure it was him. Instead, he wore a Charles de Gaulle hat and a kind of red, pinstriped suit. He was accompanied by a demented fellow in a boilersuit, gambolling around the place with a pitchfork and chatting to folks.
For this was, you see, the Grand Annual Lying Contest. (Strange that I never heard of it before, but apparently it's happened at least once already.) There were three judges - only one I recognised, Nell Phoenix, in a "guardian angel" costume, a black dress with matching wings. We also had someone as Lady Liberty (complete with battery-operated torch), and the Invisible Woman/Man, swaddled in a white scarf around the face, wearing a cap, sunglasses, coat and gloves. This person claimed first to be the wife of the Invisible Man, who couldn't make the first half, then the Invisible Man himself in the second half. Never did figure out who that was, and it drove me crazy. The guy with the pitchfork (who changed to a dress for the second half) was also keeping score.
Seven contestants, none famous - although some seemed to have more stage experience than others. All had to tell a lie - or a story about a lie - lasting between three and seven minutes, and the guy with the pitchfork was there to make sure they stuck to that. After each act, the judges would give a score between 1 & 10. Mind you, I'm not entirely sure they stuck strictly to that for judging the final results - marks were given for story content, delivery, and audience reaction, and they used the excuse that audience reaction in the second half was helped by libations from the bar.
Anyhoo, the first guy up - from Norfolk, we were told - told us a strange tale about the legendary power of blacksmiths. A performance that confused rather than enthused - it was no surprise he came joint last. Interestingly, the next woman up told us a fascinating tale, based on a government policy she'd concocted about turning base metals to gold. Hands down, this was the best story - and my companions, both technical writers, picked her as their favourite. However, although her restrained delivery was perfect for the story, it did little for the actual contest - the judges did place a lot of importance on delivery, and in the end she only came third.
Next came a chap with basically poor delivery - which was a shame, as his story was hilarious. And ending the first half was a lady in a dressing gown and slippers - telling us how she'd come straight there after an adventure where she'd been wearing this. My companions were unimpressed, saying the story - containing the Fates - was predictable: but I really enjoyed her delivery and thought the story was clever; in the end it was the most coherent story of the night, and she walked away with the trophy.
After the break, the overall standard improved - after the first guy up, who just looked demented, and apparently nearly bailed, and had to be retrieved by the guy with the pitchfork. He gave us a rambling tale with a poem in the middle, apparently unconnected to anything else. The two after him were a massive improvement - last year's winner had a tale involving a dog and an extraterrestrial attack in the form of a kind of cosmic washing machine. And last up was some guy named Jason - had his story been more structured, he might have taken the prize; he certainly had the best audience reaction, with a fantastic way of interacting with us, and the best I've ever seen at dealing with hecklers. He came second.
And so straight home - by the time we got back into the centre, it was pretty much too late to do anything but go to bed. Today's lunch was in Souk again - there were six of us, so we were shown to a curtained alcove:
It was cosy in there - more so when an even larger table were shown in, and cosiest of all when the lights mysteriously went out! They did fix that eventually. For lunch, just two of us had starters, then I think everyone had a tajine! Four chicken (three with chickpeas, one with potatoes and olives), two meatballs. All were much appreciated, although it was annoying that the chicken came in the form of drumsticks, so not much actual meat. Nice apple juice, though. And when it came to paying the bill, we had the usual fun trying to get a waiter's - any waiter's - attention..
Tonight, London Dramatic Arts (LDAM) is off to see The Goat - or Who Is Sylvia? with Damian Lewis, at the Theatre Royal Haymarket. I managed to get a cheaper ticket - however, instead we'll be taking out our team member for drinks. And dinner, I suppose!
Never mind - April starts with the Man with the Hat (long time no see!). Both London for Less Than a Tenner and Let's Do London - for less! are off to see the ballet Jewels at the Royal Opera House tomorrow. Really looking forward to the show, and seeing old friends. And what he says is true - it's all the sweeter when it's been a while.
On Sunday, I booked a guided walk through Islington - Between the Wars - with London for a Tenner or Less. Funzing, so I could cancel, provided I did it in time - and then I decided I'd rather go to a film. Top of the list are a couple of documentaries, and the one I'm more interested in is Tickling Giants, about a comedian and chat show host in Cairo who's always sticking two fingers up to the authorities, and getting in trouble for it. (I've been particularly interested in Egypt since I visited, back in 2000.) It's showing, that day only, in the Curzon Bloomsbury - walking distance from me, nice! Seeing that it was starting to fill up, I booked, and cancelled Funzing. Again - I have a litany of cancelled Funzing events, these days!
On Monday, I'm back with the Crick Crack Club - at Soho Theatre this time, for an evening of Greek mythology entitled Atalanta, brought to us by the able Ben Haggerty. You know, now that I'm a Westminster resident, I have a Westminster card, which - among other things - entitles me to £1 off at this theatre! Pity I didn't yet have it when I booked this..
On Tuesday, Let's Do London - for less! is back at the Opera House, for Madama Butterfly. I'm in the slips, as usual. Was telling this to one of my lunch companions - he's seen it, apparently, and was very impressed.
Next Wednesday - why, it must be summer! Welcome back, London Literary Walks - good to see you. We're on The Composers' Walk - apparently a repeat. And yay, we're meeting in Caffe Nero - I can have a chocolate Milano.
On the 6th, I'm with the World Music Meetup, for a free concert of Iranian music at the Brunei Gallery. It's been a while for me, with both group and venue.. Then it's back to Ireland for the weekend again, and a meeting with my birth and adoptive mothers on the 8th. That's assuming we can agree on a venue - we had decided on Greene's, but there's no parking, my mother can't walk any distance, and while she had agreed to take a taxi, she's now gone and changed her mind. I've asked whether the venue can be changed - no word yet; it's more awkward, as we're still communicating through a social worker.
On the 10th, I'm back at the Wanamaker Playhouse - always a favourite - for The White Devil, a Jacobean tale.
On the 11th, I got a cheap ticket to the Caine and Kane comedy show, in Brixton.
On the 12th, I'm with LDAM to see Don Juan in Soho, with David Tennant, in Wyndham's. Just down Charing Cross Road - nice!
Then I'm back to Ireland for Easter - on Good Friday, my (adoptive) mother and I are off to La Bohème, at the University Concert Hall.
On the 18th, back in London, and back with Funzing - London Speaks Sessions, LDN Talks @ Night, and London for a Tenner or Less, for a talk on the Science of Paranormal Activity. Unless I get a better offer, in time - it'd have to be a good one, I'm interested in this!
On the 19th, London Literary Walks is off down Brick Lane - and so am I.
On the 20th, I have my usual placeholder of free comedy in Hammersmith - courtesy of Free Comedy Nights in Hammersmith Wimbledon and Greenwich, and London Live Comedy. Of course - much like Funzing - I usually end up cancelling these, when something better comes up.
Ditto the 21st - or I may go to the cinema that day. As usual, watch this space..!
On the 22nd, I'm off to see the Naked House Cleaner! Venue to be revealed just the day before.. ooh!
On the 23rd, I'm on a walk of Hampstead Village Highlights, with Walks, Talks and Treasure Hunts. Be good exercise, leading up to my own sponsored walk in September, in aid of Cats Protection.. Helen and I are going as Dick Whittington and his cat. She's the cat.
The 24th, another summery treat! The Man with the Hat is taking both groups to the Globe (ah, it's been too long..). For one night only, the Comedy Store Players will regale us with Shakespeare-inspired improv. As usual, London for Less than a Tenner standing in the yard, Let's Do London - for less! in lower gallery seats. Which is where I go - couldn't take standing for that long.
The 25th, London European Club again - it'll have been a while! They're off to an informal evening of classical music, in Peckham.
The 26th, London Literary Walks is doing the Sloane Ranger.
The 27th, Helen and I are on an Underground treasure hunt, courtesy of Walk, Talks and Treasure Hunts. TFL goodies to be won, it seems.. Then back to Ireland for the bank holiday weekend - which I'd forgotten was a bank holiday, or I'd have stayed over an extra day!
Instead, for 1 May, I've booked The Ferryman, with LDAM, at the Royal Court.
And 2 May, those same three Funzing groups have advertised a talk called Origin of Vampires: Fact or Fiction?
